Showing posts with label blog love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blog love. Show all posts

July 26, 2015

Happy Birthday to Jamwall!


Ode to Jamwall
on his birthday
this 207th day of the calendar year

i. første vers
In a landscape of 10,000 frozen lakes
and snow upon snow upon snow
a rare and precious gem appeared
seven and thirty years ago.

Fiery red, it blazed and burned
with peerless gifts and talents
in the soul of the boy;
to emerge as he grew,
lending wit, and vision, and balance.





ii. andre vers

No ordinary boy was he
nay, never.
Not to this day!
His eyes bear the spark
of vivid untiring imagination.
His mouth utters only kindness, humor, and love;
his heart is a drumbeat of loyalty.


Oh!

Your heart, your little heart …
it knows not how it sounds.
for it is the drum of drums,
it is the song of songs.*

Thumping in the rib-cavern of that
beautiful spirited child
for all the days
that came before I knew you.


iii. tredje vers

On a distant shore I lived
and wandered alone and wondered
whether in all my days I’d find a match
for the silly and lively spirit inside.

... A spirit that needed taming and compassion.
A spirit that compels with its fierce humor.
A spirit that sometimes does not brush its hair
and eats things it finds on the floor
and wears a box instead of pants
and draws oddly
and writes poems about raining noses
and cannot spell the word scissors.

Who would ever come home
to a spirit like that?

I had stopped looking;
I did not realize.

I did not know,
I mean ...
... that you were there.

Nobody told me.

iv. fjerde vers

One day, suddenly, you appeared, beating your gong.
Verbally jousting with me
in the back-rooms of this virtual world.

Your writing tickled my funny bone
and brought out my inner feisty beast.
My true colors were fully unfurled!

Nothing was sacred, nothing was safe:Runways and hoo-hahs and relish,ice cream flavors and gobstoppers
all of these we’d embellish.

When you said you "loved my guts" I fainted, a little.


v. femte vers
There was once a secret blog;
a playground we kept on the side.
Some of us would take comfort there
and lower our guard for a time.

In that hideaway long gone, you first
unveiled your face to me, and to the others.
I will never forget reaching out
and touching your face with my hand
on the flat-screen of my monitor.
That puckish dimple in your chin
has inhabited my dreams
every night hence.
Even now, two years since.




vi. sjette vers

One summer’s day in Boston-town
four bloggers were united
for a weekend of frivolity
and extensive monkey-business.

On the trolley, you touched my knee.


vii. syvende vers

(Angelic Chorus sings to the tune of Don’t Fear the Reaper):

Her knee! Her knee!
You touched Spinnerina's knee!
The kneebone’s connected to the lipbone!
The lipbone’s connected to the heartbone!


viii. åttende vers
(Man with Cowbell clangs instrument three times and shouts):

Silence!
Let me explore the space now, baby.

[mellomspill] --- Bare ku bjelle (Cowbell solo) ---


ix. niende vers


Jamwall, thanx fo' show'n me T-H-to-tha-izzat you love me in all tha shawty ways . Ya fuck with us, we gots to fuck you up. I started yo' shit, and I'll end yo'shit. You is always there fo' me so jus' chill. I love you so mizzle fo' sho'! I cizzay imagine gangsta day going by wit'out you in mah life. Throw yo' guns in tha muthafuckin' air!

x. tiende og siste vers
Well, then.
Nothing sweeter
or simpler and truer than this,
so still your jibberish and listen:

I cherish you.

You are a comet that streaked into my life
and landed.

Happy birthday, sweetiepants.
Happy now, and always, and then some.
(final strike of cowbell)
(curtain)


*with thanks to Annie Lennox

p.s. I didn't get you a card, so bask in this meager tribute. Jeg elsker deg!

January 02, 2009

My Sordid and Delicious Love affair: A Timeline

“I leave blogger for like five minutes and i come back and find u and Jamwall are an item? That is so rad.” LBseahag, 1/1/09
Many of my regular readers may have noticed that I tend to mention Jamwall rather often on my blog; others have noticed years of electric silliness between us. What many of you may NOT know is that we have been secretly in love for a while now, have shacked up and are shagging like a pair of llamas in an open paddock. Here is a timeline of our evolving fervor:

September 16, 2005: Jamwall's first comment on my blog post about Magnetic Poetry

October 17, 2005:
Jamwall does NOT turn up in my Tarot reading, and is consequently vexed.

January 2006:
A secret blog-on-the-side opens, where many of us reveal our true selves and tell our life stories.

February 2006:
Jamwall posts photos of himself. I spend 5 minutes touching his face on the monitor. I am instantly drawn to his rugged good looks and his maddening chin dimple. I post pictures of myself, and Jamwall later tells me he thought I was so pretty.

October 2006: Jamwall posts a "Blog Avatars Meet for Happy Hour" post that tickles me because I am included.

December 22, 2006: Jamwall offers to spread me on a cracker. A cracker of my own choosing.

December 27, 2006:
Jamwall uses the word “spanking” in a blog comment. His bold choice brings our repartee to a whole new level.

January 2007: Jamwall and I begin a back and forth exchange about misusing condiments in ways that sicken our readers and blow through our free texting minutes.

January 27, 2007: I use the phrase “Minnesotan Manwich” in reference to Jamwall, in the famous Hive Mind post.

February 2007: Jamwall guesses my favorite word to be "Gobstopper" in my Stupidest Blog Contest Ever, and wins a prize. He later writes about it on our secret side blog, and I copy the post to my blog. Read it here.



March (?) 2007: Jamwall sends me gifts. I call Jamwall on the phone, and startle him. This begins the first of a few somewhat awkward phone calls.

Early Summer 2007: Jamwall, Calzone, Monkey and I begin to plan a trip to Boston.

August 4 2007: We all meet up in Boston and see each other face to face for the first time.

August 6 2007: Jamwall puts his hand on my knee and I have an epiphany. Later, we smooch.

August-October 2007: Jamwall & I talk every single day on the phone.





October 2007: We go on a 3-day vacation to Cape Cod. Numerous things happen which I will not discuss. Jamwall and I exchange cooking experiments. He makes Caesar salad. I make soup. We mail each other our inventions.

(November 2007 - August 2008): Jamwall visits me in New England numerous times. We go to New York City and he meets my family. He comes to my performance at Carnegie Hall. Somewhere in this time period, we decide we really like each other.

February 2008: I visit Jamwall in Minnesota. I have never been so freaking cold in my entire life. We have a blast. I meet his family.

July 26, 2008: Jamwall's birthday. I write (and post) a long and heartfelt Ode. I visit Jamwall and on a sunlit bench in a beautiful little park, he proposes. I say yes.

September 15, 2008: 3 years after his very first blog comment, Jawmall moves halfway across the country, into my house.



October 2008: We celebrate 1 year together in Cape Cod.

Now: We have mingled our stuff and our habits, are planning a July wedding for this year, and are dwelling in the bliss of the newly-smitten!!! I hope my favorite person can come to the wedding, because he was key in bringing us together. Besides encouraging us to free our minds and end self-censoring (the key to good writing), he gave us a forum in which we first broke the walls of anonymity and discovered that we were soul twins. We are forever grateful that the strange but wonderful world of blogging brought us together!!!

July 06, 2008

Zombie Kickball

It's been a while since I've seen my little pal Monkey and known what he's been up to. Luckily, his friend Calzone periodically sends porn and Velveeta to my spankmate Jamwall, so I get to see stuff like this (click the image to jump to YouTube) :


Damn, it's good to see you, baby. Your fur looks amazing. One day, we shall meet again, and my hand will take its familiar place in your giant, gaping hoo-hah.

June 30, 2008

Sporcle

Thanks, Jiggs. Thanks a freaking lot!
Oh -- I got 78 of the Elements on the Periodic Table.
I love, yet hate myself.
Also, I sounded like an asshole
singing the song over & over
doing this one.

June 29, 2008

Meme Summer 2008: Mosaic

I completely swiped this from Scarlet Hip. Thanks, girlfriend!

The concept:
1. Type your answer to each of the questions below into
Flickr Search.
2. Using only the first page of results, and pick one image.
3. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into
Big Huge Lab's Mosaic Maker to create a mosaic of the picture answers.

The questions:
1. What is your first name? (L)
2. What is your favorite food? right now? (cheese)
3. What high school did you go to? (NHS)
4. What is your favorite color? (green)
5. Who is your celebrity crush? (Johnny Depp)
6. What is your favorite drink? (coffee)
7. What is your dream vacation? (Italy)
8. What is your favorite dessert? (ice cream)
9. What do you want to be when you grow up? (a teacher)
10. What do you love most in life? (my sisters)
11. What is one word that describes you? (vivacious)
12. What is your flickr name?
(Spinnerina!)


1. L in Regent's Park, 2. A platter full of cheese!, 3. N High School, 4. Green Womble House, 5. +[ Johnny Depp: drop dead gorgeous ]+, 6. I love coffee, especially Monday morning..., 7. Ravello , Italy, 8. Chocolate Ice Cream, 9. Still Life For Teacher, 10. three sisters, 11. Dandelion Restaurant Ceiling, 12. Young Girl Spinning wishymom

April 30, 2008

.. but we knew that, eh?

After somebody told me they had a dream about getting his aura repaired, I decided I needed some help from Blogthings. It always comes through as a tool of divination for me... it is a miracle!!!


Your Aura is Green

You're very driven, competitive, and even a bit jealous. You are fierce in your judgment, yet forgiving of many different viewpoints. You are strongly opinionated. You work hard, then nap for long periods. But why the hell can't you get those papers graded? The kids turned those in like 2 weeks ago!
Generally, you seek out balance in your life - and you usually achieve it by combining your great loves (music, art, writing, spankings, and cleaning the gutters) into one delicious montage.
The purpose of your life: inspiring others to be better. This is achieved by pointing out flaws in a loving way and by praising small accomplishments. Also, threats and bribery.

Famous greens include: Tony Robbins, Donald Trump, Kermit the Frog, and Martha Stewart.

Careers for you to try: Guru, CEO, Talk Show Host, French Maid, Ice Cream Truck Driver, Puppet.




April 26, 2008

Bacon Pistachio Flatulence


I hardly knew what I should wear to Tits' Second Annual Bacon Party. Not to detract from last year's outfit, I decided instead to stay in my jammies and create a gastronomical masterpiece, whilst gorging myself on Uncle Oinker's Bacon Flavored Mints. While Tits and Kendra slather themselves in bacon-flavored vodka and frolic, I shall be creating my bacon meal for one:


Bacon Pistachio Greenery
Brussels Sprouts done Right


Ingredients:

Brussels Sprouts (as many as you want to eat)
Shallots (1)
Bacon (turkey bacon or pancetta cubes work nicely also)
Olive Oil (a hearty splash)


Pistachio Nut Meats (several handfuls) -- if you can't obtain these, pine nuts work nicely also.
1 lemon
Salt & Pepper

Mise en Place:


1. Gorge yourself on Uncle Oinker's Bacon Mints (that Tits sent you) throughout preparation.


2. Remove outer leaves of Brussels sprouts. These will be used for the recipe. Save the hearts for future use, perhaps in a lovely soup.



3. Partially cook bacon, using your favorite method (I prefer the microwave). Cut crosswise into 1/8" mini-strips.

4. Dice the shallot.

5. Juice the lemon.

Preparation:

Just before serving

1. Saute the shallots in olive oil.

2. When the shallots look about half browned, add the bacon.

3. After about 2 more minutes, toss in the Brussels sprouts leaves and the pistachios. Saute for 2-3 more minutes, turning over occasionally.

4. Turn off the heat and just before serving, douse the whole thing in the lemon juice. Season to taste with salt & pepper.


Enjoy! This meal combines my favorite things: the gassiness of cabbage, the greasiness of bacon, and the sinful calorie-packed nutrition of nuts. Bon apetit!

February 19, 2008

TBDOA Mission Work


I'm visiting my not-so-secret-anymore LOVAH in St. Paul, and we decided to create TBDOA business cards to leave all over the Mall of America. What do you think? Is this enough to warn the masses?

January 18, 2008

Come on People, Let's Rally!

VOTE FOR MISS KENDRA!!!!!
(DIZZY VON DAMN)
and
Spread the Word!
(click image to visit voting site)
once there, scroll down to
Dizzy von Damn
and click away!!!


Please take a moment to vote for Dizzy von Damn in the Viva Las Vegas burlseque vote-o-rama. It only takes a minute! If you haven't seen her burlesque show, it's quite something!!!

January 16, 2008

Quilting Girl has touched my heart!

I'm sick, you see. I have been coughing crazily and sporting a mild fever and really special hairdo all day. Suddenly, QG appeared at my door with the following:



All the items that make one feel better:
  • Italian wedding soup
  • pea soup with mint, that sounds yummy!
  • orange juice
  • lozenges of cranberry for to suck
  • peanut butter cups
  • a card of caring

Thanks, friend! I feel better already, snif snif (no, that's not congestion, I am touched!)

January 04, 2008

SpiBloPoDa

I was so very envious when Todd and Brooke participated in NaBloPoMo. How wonderful to be "forced" to post every day for an entire month. It's hard!!! Right, Madge? I've been so very lame in my posting. So today I resolve to post, but I am keeping my posting goals very small. But let's all participate! I am calling it ...

SPIBLOPODA
Spinnerina's Blog Posting Day

My challenge to you, fellow blogger, is to POST TODAY. Even if you haven't blogged in a few days, weeks, even months, TODAY IS OUR DAY. Now go out there, and air your naughties!!!!
............................................................................................
As for me, I'd like to share a few thoughts:
  • I gave Jamwall an Avenging Narwhal for Christmas. I also gave him ... never mind. Although, strangely ... the red welt on my ass is identical to the shape of his hand.
  • My tree is still up, and I light it every night, and I will do so until February 1. It's SpiLiChriTre, after all!
  • I went and saw The Singing Revolution, and I am so very glad I did. If you live in or near NYC, perhaps you should too. We are a small, proud nation!!!
  • I discovered that my Personal DNA personality type is "benevolent architect." I like that; I'm going to call myself that.
  • Henceforth, you shall refer to me as "Benevolent Architect Spinnerina." You will commence in your comments.
  • Hover your mouse over each of the colors in the crazy-ass grid below, to see what that means:

December 13, 2007

belated Birthday goodness!

These thanks are so long overdue that it's embarrassing. On my birthday (Nov. 5) I received not one, but two, bouquets at work from far-away admirers!

The first bouquet was from Jamwall, muse of my muse, my midnight heavy-breather and my morning wake-up call, hand to my puppet self, master of my secret inner teacher-slut:



The second was from Osbasso, awakener of my inner half-nekkid dancing sprite, solo enthusiastic applauder in my audience of one:

Thank you both for such surprising wonderfulness! Such unexpected kindness made my day, my week, my entire birthday month.

November 16, 2007

Impostor!

Look who what I found at the Boston Museum of Science! Trying so hard to look like Monkey, yet not him ... no, not him, heart of my heart, gaping hoo-hah to my groping hand, lost and errant child of my banana tree, the squeaky voice that murmurs my name in the night. Like him, yes ... yet unlike.


No.
Not him.


Not my little guy.

October 25, 2007

Spinning Girl and Friends in the Kitchen: I Make Such a Better Caesar Salad than Jamwall!

Boy, do I love food. And more than food, I love a competition. Especially when I am competing against someone who is so confident that he is going to win that he doesn't even try. I speak, of course, of my secret lover and arch-nemesis, Jamwall. You may recall that in an earlier post I mentioned that we will be competing in a Caesar Salad Recipe contest. He immediately took the crouton and ran with it, trying to show me up with his crazy bottled dressing antics over at Not really a food blog, is it now?.com. Well, I am here today to prove to Jamwall that not only am I willing to dress up like a cowgirl and stand in those funny positions no matter how bad he makes me feel about myself, but I am also a fabulous cook!

Without further ado, my recipe:

The Perfect Caesar Salad

Jamwall's Submission

Step 1. Open Jamwall's salad mailing and take one look at the lettuce; decide not to eat it.
Step 2. rate Jamwall's salad anyhow:

  • Texture: 1
  • Color: 2
  • Creaminess: 6
  • Fish Smell: 10+
  • Egg Smell: 11
  • Crispiness: 0
  • Croûton taste: 0 (no croûton provided)

Average Score out of 10: 4.29

Step 3: Scout out the Romaine Lettuce at the market.

Step 4. Decide that a Caesar Salad sounds like a lot of work, and head for the salad bar.

Step 5. Hmmm, no Caesar in this salad bar.


Step 6. I guess I'll just put this container back, then.


Step 7. You know what's always yummy at this market though? The soup!!!


Step 8. Mmmm, this one looks delicious.

Step 9. Buy the soup and bring it home.

Step 10. Pour the creamy soup into a pot and bring to a simmer.



Step 11. Yum, will you look at that?!?!?



Step 12. Sample for quality.

Step 13. Hell yeah, I am so gonna win this contest now!

Step 14. Damn, am I a good cook!

Step 15. I think Jamwall will really like this when he tries it.

Step 16. Hmmm, that looks a little moist.

Step 17. I guess it'll be fine.

Step 18. Seal the envelope!

Step 19. Address the envelope to Jamwall and pop it into the mail!

Step 20. And that's how you make a perfect Caesar Salad!!!

If you would like to read any more of my culinary or competitive adventures, please visit:

Making Cocoa with Monkey

Clash of Titans (click the tag below if you really want to read the whole thing; it's not for the faint of heart)

October 22, 2007

Meditation on the Alto Part of He Shall Purify

I notice I haven't been writing much original work lately; but it's because all of my love is going elsewhere, and not into my craft. Where is my love going, you may ask? To the following (order does not indicate priority or % of love given):

The 89 13-year olds have been draining much of my energy lately, but since I am not a mom, they are satisfying my mothering needs at the moment. This includes the 3-day "vacation" in Boston. Oh, I forgot to tell you one thing that scared me:



I quit my old choir because the 75-minute drive was spanking all the joy of singing out of me. My new choir rehearses closer to my house, and has a bitchin' lineup of concerts! At this moment I am supposed to be practicing He Shall Purify from The Messiah for tomorrow's rehearsal, but instead I am making peach cobbler and posting some original writing. I shall sing shortly!

I started talking to Tuyet a while back and have befriended her in the last few weeks. She is desperately lonely, adrift in a sea of self-searching, eternally optimistic, and clueless about how to be a woman. We've been IM'ing as I try to give her advice on her spiritual quest.

I've been working out 2x a week with my personal trainer and exercising a few days a week on my own. Consequently, my pants are falling down. Consequently to that, I am getting lots of attention from passers-by. Luckily, I am wearing pantaloons (most of the time).

Jamwall has infected my brain with his sick and errant ways. His depraved and condiment-laden mildly pornographic comments, text messages, and emails have finally won me over. I am his to defile as he wishes. I hear cowbell in my sleep!!! On the more human side, he seems to be quite charming and could even be trained to be lovable. We have decided to have a Caesar Salad contest, in which we perfect our recipes and then put them to the test. I don't know how well romaine holds up to being mailed.



My family has not been getting enough of my attention, because I have been so busy. But birthday season is upon us (2 weeks, people!) which gives us all an opportunity to be together in love and harmony. Also, diapers. And yummy meats, slowly cooked.

September 18, 2007

An original piece of work!

Well, I might have seen my secret crush do this on her blog ... ahem ... so? I'm busy, dammit!!!

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME:
(first pet & current car)
Dr. Shitheap

2.YOUR GANGSTA NAME:
(fave ice cream flavor, favorite cookie)
Mint Oreo Oreo (Yeah baby! like Snoop Doggy Dogg! Like this and like that and like this and like that and like this and like that and a HUH!)

3. YOUR “FLY Girl” NAME:
(first initial of first name, first three letters of your last name)
S Gir (hmm, this one kinda sux)

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME:
(favorite color, favorite animal)
Green Owl (Hoo!)

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME:
(middle name, city where you were born)
Ning Ridgewood (Do I get to be a surrogate mom in this soap opera?)

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME:
(the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first)
Girsp (I think that was a sound that Jabba the Hutt made when he ate that frog-thing)

7. SUPERHERO NAME:
(”The” + 2nd favorite color, favorite drink)
The Lilac Java

8. NASCAR NAME:
(the first names of your grandfathers)
We don't do Nascar.

9. STRIPPER NAME:
(the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/scent, favorite candy)
Lolita After Eight (YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

10.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME:
(mother’s & father’s middle names )
I'm not playing.

11. TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME:
(Your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter)
McKee Minneapolis (Is that near Eden Prairie?)

12. SPY NAME:
(your favorite season/holiday, flower)
Autumn Lilac

13. CARTOON NAME:
(favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now + "ie" or "y")
Nectarine Pajamy Panty (this one went straight to video)

14. HIPPY NAME:
(What you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree)
Smoothie Birch

15. YOUR ROCKSTAR TOUR NAME:
(”The” + Your fave hobby/craft, fave weather element + “Tour”)
The Singing Wind Tour