August 20, 2006

The Down & Dirty Blog Frolic (II): Tickle Torture, Spinnerina Style

The subject: Spinning Girl, freshly home from vacation and bleary-eyed from her month of homelessness. Having subjected herself to an open question-and-answer session here, she must now face the music.

Slyde said... a question, huh? ok...why don't you ever call? It’s lonely out here in the cyberverse...p.s. it was nice to see you drop by the site the other week. I was honored :)
I tried to call, but it keeps telling me that you were away from your desk at the moment, or with a client. What do you do, work for a living?!? Also, your blog is hot stuff; your template messes with my browser, though, so I only stop by when I have the patience.


miss kendra said... how far is spinning girl's house, Connecticut from say, Salem Massachusetts? And would spinning girl's house be amenable to a visit say, around the holidays, were someone from California to find herself suddenly on the east coast?
I am exactly 101.101 miles from Salem. This distance can be traversed by the spinmobile in less than 2 hours. Your wish is my command! Beware, though, for Salem (as you well know) is a hotbed of anti-feminine activity. I speak, of course, of the witch trials of old.


Übermilf said... Let no one claim Estonian women aren't hot.
This story speaks for itself. And let us not forget the hottie in the ballpit. Meowr!

DaMasta said... When can I move in?
Yesterday. No, the day before.


"K" Fingerett said... I'm sorry, I'm still stuck on your last "Discuss" post aka the "wtf post" ...Now for a question...Maybe I missed it, because you post so often and I don't get on hear as much as I used to... But, what ever happened to the monkey?
Since you are relatively new to the scene, and started coming around after the Monkey heyday, I will forgive your use of the term “The Monkey”. I must warn you, however, that he would be greatly disdained by your use of this term. He is simply “Monkey”; just as you aren’t “The Fingerett.” I won’t tell him, though, and let’s just keep your error on the QT; otherwise we would be covered with pellets o’ poo.

As for Monkey’s whereabouts, I believe he is resting. After our visit in January, when we fell in love, Monkey was quite heartbroken. He has been spotted from time to time, which eases my mind as to his well-being. Monkeys need their rest, and his hiatus corresponds perfectly with the hibernation period (a little-known fact) of wild monkeys, so I am not worried. If I see him, I will tell him that you asked after him.

Lee Ann said... Why do men have nipples?
To hold their titanium jewelry, of course.

UberGoober said... What is the air speed and velocity of a Sparrow carrying a one-pound coconut?
To answer this question, please consult the following pictogram.


Then, use this simple formula to do the necessary calculations. Duh!


Lightning Bug's Butt said... Do you think tumbleweeds ever find the other bushes lazy?
It is well known that tumbleweeds have a rather holier-than-thou attitude in their approach to all other flora.

Madge said... Do you have any pets?
I had the most wonderful cat, Juku, who died in 2001 of heart failure. I may have another cat soon, now that I don’t have a bitchy landlord.

tits mcgee said... Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near?
Because, just like you, they long to be close to me.

Brooke said... Do you wanna make love? Or do you just wanna fool around?
Is it the first date? Then no. But if we've been out a few times, I'll let you feel me up over my sweater, a little bit.

Juliabohemian said... Why a chicken? Why not a duck?
My thoughts exactly. The goose is also under-represented.

Osbasso said... Verdi "Requiem" in May, 2007. Wanna come out?
Music brings people together.

B.E. Earl said... Why hasn't "Boy's Life" by McCammon been adapted to the big screen yet?
Way overdue. I would hope the director could do it justice. Otherwise, I’d prefer my imagination to any artist’s rendering. Definitely one of my top 5 favorite books of ALL TIME (trust me on this one, folks, and go out & get it).

Kat said... ...seeing as it's been on my mind lately...how do you feel about half torsos?
On myself, I prefer a whole torso. In art, I much prefer a half torso to a headless full torso.

kris said... Dear SG, Not the most positive question, but . . .What is your biggest regret?
I have a few regrets, which I keep to myself. My biggest regret involves throwing something away, which I needed later. But I believe that DaMasta’s no-regrets philosophy is a good one, and I try to model myself after that now that I have discovered it. Thanks, chica, for helping me to live a better life.

jamwall said... yeah, what's your new address? Its time to resume the swap-o-crap proceedings! :) you can e-mail that to me, btw.WORD VERIFICATION: YVEGBOY <--- yodeling veggie boy
The swap-o-crap is one of my favorite blog inventions. Bring it on!

DaMasta
said... ... And how soon after I move in can I start sleeping in your bed?
Right after you buy me dinner and rub my feet, just like everybody else. Plus, you are already in the pigpile, so it's just a matter of acquiring a proper blanket.

Anonymous said... are you really related to jiggs casey?
Jiggs and I hope to marry, so after we tie the knot he will be related to me and all my brood.

hyena9 said... What is your personal philosophy on life?
Don’t overthink it.

Bill said ... I have several questions:

Why is it funnier to say bum than it is to say ass?
I must disagree. But funnier than both of these is “coolie”, and the topper is “gadonkadonk”.

Why do very old men on buses who sit beside you make unconscious loud smacking sounds with their lips?
Because, despite the fact that their ears are huge, they can’t actually hear well enough to know that they are making sounds.

How do people tell the difference between a fart and a dump? I mean, how do they know they aren't just going to shit their pants when they let go?
I find potty humor childish and tasteless (as evidenced here and here), so I will not dignify that with a response.

mp said... Why do you pretend not to be a lesbian?
Because most of the gals who hit on me really aren’t my type, and I hope that by laying low I will happen upon the love of my life unexpectedly at Home Depot.

Dave Morris said... Do bees do doobies?
No.

jiggs said... she sells sea shells by the sea shore. Can you say that 5 times fast?
Watch your mail for the bill to replace my monitor after it blew a fuse because of “moisture of unknown origin”.

BadGod said... What is Fermat's Last Theorem? How was it solved? Which is more powerful, gravity or electricity? What is the biological basis of consciousness? The GUT-Power (Grand Unified Theory) was divided into four fundamental powers. Name them and your least favorite sexual position.

In Xanadu did Kubla Khan
A stately pleasure-dome decree:
Where Alph, the sacred river, ran
Through caverns measureless to man
Down to a sunless sea.
So twice five miles of fertile ground
With walls and towers were girdled round:
And there were gardens bright with sinuous rills,
Where blossomed many an incense-bearing tree;
And here were forests ancient as the hills,
Enfolding sunny spots of greenery.
But oh! that deep romantic chasm which slanted
Down the green hill athwart a cedarn cover !
A savage place! as holy and enchanted
As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted
By woman wailing for her demon-lover !
And from this chasm, with ceaseless turmoil seething,
As if this earth in fast thick pants were breathing,
A mighty fountain momently was forced:
Amid whose swift half-intermitted burst
Huge fragments vaulted like rebounding hail,
Or chaffy grain beneath the thresher's flail:
And 'mid these dancing rocks at once and ever
It flung up momently the sacred river.
Five miles meandering with a mazy motion
Through wood and dale the sacred river ran,
Then reached the caverns measureless to man,
And sank in tumult to a lifeless ocean:
And 'mid this tumult Kubla heard from far
Ancestral voices prophesying war!
The shadow of the dome of pleasure
Floated midway on the waves;
Where was heard the mingled measure
From the fountain and the caves.
It was a miracle of rare device,
A sunny pleasure-dome with caves of ice!
A damsel with a dulcimer
In a vision once I saw:
It was an Abyssinian maid,
And on her dulcimer she played,
Singing of Mount Abora.
Could I revive within me
Her symphony and song,
To such a deep delight 'twould win me,
That with music loud and long,
I would build that dome in air,
That sunny dome! those caves of ice !
And all who heard should see them there,
And all should cry, Beware! Beware!
His flashing eyes, his floating hair!
Weave a circle round him thrice,
And close your eyes with holy dread,
For he on honey-dew hath fed,
And drunk the milk of Paradise.

(Kubla Khan or A Vision in a Dream, a Fragment -- Samuel Taylor Coleridge.)


... and my favorite position is the one where you keep scrubbing and scrubbing the blackboard while I stand over you and thrash you with a shelalegh, insisting that it is still dirty, and then you cry.


BadGod said... Also......Name three machines that are 'soulful' according to Jeremy Clarkson. I’m waiting, woman.
1. The George Foreman grill.
2. The close-and-play record player.
3. The weed whacker.


t2ed said... Why did Chris Robinson & Kate Hudson?
Because Nipsy Russel.

Rrramone said... Why?
Because no matter how high the ladder climbs, there’s always one more rung.

And because you were bad.


Sleep Goblin said... How likely is Spinning Girl to be in the Louisville, Kentucky area on October 21st, when her good friend Sleep Goblin is getting married?
I’ve consulted my astrological chart, and my magic 9-ball. While most signs point to “probably not”, there is a giant possibility of some serious snail-mail-love coming your way right around that time.

Bill said... How many times have you watched "Christmas in Connecticut"?
Precisely zero. Celebrated Christmas ... 37 times.

MadMeer said... You know what would be good? If you would stop being on holiday, that is what would be good. Okay okay. I'll ask your damn question, but I won't like it! What should I be when I grow up? Oh, and now that I am unpacked, I have something for you. Can you send me your address? I promise it will not be anything stored in a Christmas tin.
Bring it on! As for what you should be when you grow up, how about a pastry chef? In my own kitchen?

miss kendra said... when will my lawyer get the insurance company to give me my damn money so I can move on with my life?
Yesterday. No, the day before.

Will I be as cool as you someday?
Honey, your level of coolness is my goal.

FRITZ said... What does your favorite bra look like?
I prefer to support my breasts with one of
these.

Lee Ann said... How long are you going to be gone?
This time, only a week. Someday, I will be gone forever.

FU said... what's green and smells like pork?............Kermit’s finger.ok.. Not really a question. coz I gave the answer.ok here's a question: do you get dizzy from constantly spinning?
That is a great joke. It gives me a visual that is unmatched in its ability to promote dry heaves. As for spinning, I don’t actually spin on the Z axis (as BOBI once imagined). Instead, I spin a long and winding tale.


Bill said... Where the hell are you holidaying? The moon? Get your ass back here!
I brought you some green cheese and an American flag that I found.

Ricardo Montalbán said... Why have you forsaken me?
Tattoo was my first love, you know.

Freiya said... Hmmmm, a question.......what sky type event (like eclipses, northern lights, pretty atmospheric stuff) do you want to see most? oh and a more general one, what one item you have would you save if you could only save one thing?
I would love to see the green flash. And if I could save just one thing, it would be my leather box full of photos.


jiggs said... you're back!!!
Barely!


Kat said... I concur with Bill. It’s very hard to stalk someone when you don't know where they are.the wv gods need me to round up the pigs now: runhogz
Soooo-eeeeeee!
I have so many restraining orders against people from blogland; one more won’t make a difference.


aughra said... The first election you ever voted in, and what about it that made you passionate about politics. This is assuming that you are passionate about politics. But, why did you choose that election as your first, and for whom did you vote?
The very first election I voted in was in second grade when we had to vote for the class hall monitor for the month of October. I chose Amy Campbell, because I liked her red hair; it made her seem feisty and strong. Later that year she untied my wrap-around skirt and it fell down in front of the whole cafeteria, and I regretted my choice. Fuck you, Amy Campbell! As for political elections, I think the next one will matter most of all.


DaMasta said... I missed you, too! So glad you're back.
There’s no place like home. (repeat 3x)

14 comments:

BadGod said...

Yeah, I have no idea what that....thing was you typed.

But since it was in a pretty color, I'll count it has a correct answer.

Lee Ann said...

See, we missed you....good thing you weren't gone longer, you wouldn't be finished answering yet!

FU said...

i dry heaved the first time i heard it too.

:) make sure u swing by my blog and vote!

thanks,
fu

Tits McGee said...

Hooray! You're back!

I missed you, baby.

Kat said...

That was inspiring!
Do you have a job?

ps...please don't restrain me. I'll be good.

Kat said...

oooooo and thanks for the link lady! Isn't it a small blogworld? I fell in love with cap'n marrrrrrrrrrrrrk via the NEXT BLOG, but here he's been on your links this whole time. Neato.

Slyde said...

So, my site messes with your browser?

that is the first i have heard of anyone having an issue... what kind of browswer do you use? i'll look into it.

You must be able to visit my site at all costs! I will investigate!

Sleep Goblin said...

Can I have your bra?

That was so unexpected that I laughed uncontrollably, and then fell into a beautiful daydream...

aughra said...

Awh, wrap skirts are trouble.

Thanks!

jiggs said...

When we get married, will I get a dowry? Also, can we go to niagara falls for the honeymoon? Did I spell "niagara" right?

Freewheel said...

Wow, that was a fun post. I'm sorry I didn't do my assignment. My excuses are that I was out of town, my digital dog ate it, and I enjoy sitting on my gadonkadonk in your detention hall.

DaMasta said...

I hope you like quesadillas. Cause that's what's for din din. Also? I hate that I just said the word din din. Forgive me? Good. Now pass me the massage lotion..

DaMasta said...

OH. And, I am your type.

miss kendra said...

if you marry jiggs casey, can i come live with you and be your house maiden? i'll wear pantaloons.