January 02, 2009

My Sordid and Delicious Love affair: A Timeline

“I leave blogger for like five minutes and i come back and find u and Jamwall are an item? That is so rad.” LBseahag, 1/1/09
Many of my regular readers may have noticed that I tend to mention Jamwall rather often on my blog; others have noticed years of electric silliness between us. What many of you may NOT know is that we have been secretly in love for a while now, have shacked up and are shagging like a pair of llamas in an open paddock. Here is a timeline of our evolving fervor:

September 16, 2005: Jamwall's first comment on my blog post about Magnetic Poetry

October 17, 2005:
Jamwall does NOT turn up in my Tarot reading, and is consequently vexed.

January 2006:
A secret blog-on-the-side opens, where many of us reveal our true selves and tell our life stories.

February 2006:
Jamwall posts photos of himself. I spend 5 minutes touching his face on the monitor. I am instantly drawn to his rugged good looks and his maddening chin dimple. I post pictures of myself, and Jamwall later tells me he thought I was so pretty.

October 2006: Jamwall posts a "Blog Avatars Meet for Happy Hour" post that tickles me because I am included.

December 22, 2006: Jamwall offers to spread me on a cracker. A cracker of my own choosing.

December 27, 2006:
Jamwall uses the word “spanking” in a blog comment. His bold choice brings our repartee to a whole new level.

January 2007: Jamwall and I begin a back and forth exchange about misusing condiments in ways that sicken our readers and blow through our free texting minutes.

January 27, 2007: I use the phrase “Minnesotan Manwich” in reference to Jamwall, in the famous Hive Mind post.

February 2007: Jamwall guesses my favorite word to be "Gobstopper" in my Stupidest Blog Contest Ever, and wins a prize. He later writes about it on our secret side blog, and I copy the post to my blog. Read it here.

March (?) 2007: Jamwall sends me gifts. I call Jamwall on the phone, and startle him. This begins the first of a few somewhat awkward phone calls.

Early Summer 2007: Jamwall, Calzone, Monkey and I begin to plan a trip to Boston.

August 4 2007: We all meet up in Boston and see each other face to face for the first time.

August 6 2007: Jamwall puts his hand on my knee and I have an epiphany. Later, we smooch.

August-October 2007: Jamwall & I talk every single day on the phone.

October 2007: We go on a 3-day vacation to Cape Cod. Numerous things happen which I will not discuss. Jamwall and I exchange cooking experiments. He makes Caesar salad. I make soup. We mail each other our inventions.

(November 2007 - August 2008): Jamwall visits me in New England numerous times. We go to New York City and he meets my family. He comes to my performance at Carnegie Hall. Somewhere in this time period, we decide we really like each other.

February 2008: I visit Jamwall in Minnesota. I have never been so freaking cold in my entire life. We have a blast. I meet his family.

July 26, 2008: Jamwall's birthday. I write (and post) a long and heartfelt Ode. I visit Jamwall and on a sunlit bench in a beautiful little park, he proposes. I say yes.

September 15, 2008: 3 years after his very first blog comment, Jawmall moves halfway across the country, into my house.

October 2008: We celebrate 1 year together in Cape Cod.

Now: We have mingled our stuff and our habits, are planning a July wedding for this year, and are dwelling in the bliss of the newly-smitten!!! I hope my favorite person can come to the wedding, because he was key in bringing us together. Besides encouraging us to free our minds and end self-censoring (the key to good writing), he gave us a forum in which we first broke the walls of anonymity and discovered that we were soul twins. We are forever grateful that the strange but wonderful world of blogging brought us together!!!


People in the Sun said...

Congratulations. That's a great story. (and happy new year).

Lyregal said...

Congratulations!! :) (Hmmmm.... the word verification says "parente". Curiouser and curiouser...)

Megan said...

Oh, how wonderfully glorious!!! To think I've been reading you from the beginning of all this!

Congratulations to you both, and I'm so very happy to have witnessed the beginning of greatness. :) And please do tell our dear little simian friend that we miss him dearly (and his human, too).

Spinning Girl said...

I have passed along your hellos to the little furry fellow.

Osbasso said...

It's like peeking in on a longtime secret! ;-)

Yay and congrats, once again! I think you should get married in Wyoming, so I'd have a shot at actually attending!

Seals said...

How fucking cool is that!!!

I'm too stupid to know what's real and what's not real in this bloggy world of ours. I wish you all the very best. :)

word veri: "dopreper"

Is it just me, or does that sound nasty?

dizzy von damn! said...

this is the best post i have ever read. it is full of all the reasons why i love the internet.

Lee Ann said...

Congratulations! I knew you guys were seeing each other... that is awesome!
It seems that the two of you will be having a very happy new year!

jamwall said...

Spinning was transfixed by my jiggly hind-quarters. I knew I had her in for a lifetime of spankings and A1 steak sauce.

J said...

I am so happy for you! What a ride.

LBseahag said...

*sniff* that is the most beautiful story I have ever experienced...
I'm speechless! Cannot wait for little spinning cowbells someday...

I am totally crashing your wedding!

madge said...

I have long loved the electric silliness. It is adorable! And so is your story, and I am happy for you, secret lovahs.

Argi said...

Hello from Macedonia - Greece !!!
Just a friend

Nice Blog

Diedre said...


jiggs said...


I knew there was a reason I constantly fantasized about you and jamwall naked covered in spicy brown mustard... Did I mention that the two of you were doing it in the mustard?

Freewheel said...

Wow - congratulations to you both! May your marriage be filled with many splendid condiments!

Anonymous said...

A terrific snapshot!!

Anonymous said...

Here is a Best Wish that all is well in your relationship!!

hollly said...

Oh my gosh. This is such a beautiful, unique romance. Your story brought tears to my eyes and reminded me that fabulous new ways of courting are always possible. Thank you for sharing your adorable romance. Book of your story to come?? Or perhaps an EBook would be more fitting?

hollly said...

P.s. you had me at soup and salad mailings.

Tits McGee said...

I am such an asshole for not commenting on this sooner.

I am crazy, head-over-heels giddy like a schoolgirl for you two.

I heart you both, with mayonnaise.

Butchie said...

Dudes are always trying to fly out and propose to me all the time, too.

DaMasta said...

Love you more than you know! Wish I could be there too! I would cry & smile & giggle (& prob get drunk and dance the Macarena). One of the most wonderful love stories I've heard in a very long time (even including the ones on Disney shows).
Luf u mucho, Spinny! Congrats!!


cher said...

you guys are so perfect for each other!

i'm so happy for you both!
man your house is probably filled with tears of laughter

good luck, happy wedding planning:)

Monkey said...

Oh my Goodness Gracious Me! I've been away from the internets too long and missed this wonderful timeline. I will most definitely be at your wedding. Mama is sewing me a tuxedo as I type. Or at least she better be.

Love and Bananas to you both... I'm so excited, I just pooed myself. Ahem.

Scarlet Hip said...

Best blog post in the history of blogland! I laughed, I cried, I got a little excited!

All the best to two of my favorite people on the Internets.

Ubermilf said...

Ditto what Monkey said.

Only, I'll only be at your wedding in spirit.

And I'm sending cupcakes instead of bananas.

Hypersonic said...

Dudes...this is so not cool. Jamwall was my bitch!!!

he not really Belated congrats on the news and early wishes of happiness on the upcoming (fnarr fnarr) nuptials