Without further ado, my recipe:
The Perfect Caesar Salad
Step 1. Open Jamwall's salad mailing and take one look at the lettuce; decide not to eat it.
Step 2. rate Jamwall's salad anyhow:
- Texture: 1
- Color: 2
- Creaminess: 6
- Fish Smell: 10+
- Egg Smell: 11
- Crispiness: 0
- Croûton taste: 0 (no croûton provided)
Average Score out of 10: 4.29
Step 3: Scout out the Romaine Lettuce at the market.
Step 5. Hmmm, no Caesar in this salad bar.
Step 10. Pour the creamy soup into a pot and bring to a simmer.
Step 14. Damn, am I a good cook!
Step 15. I think Jamwall will really like this when he tries it.
Step 16. Hmmm, that looks a little moist.
Step 17. I guess it'll be fine.
Step 19. Address the envelope to Jamwall and pop it into the mail!
Step 20. And that's how you make a perfect Caesar Salad!!!
Clash of Titans (click the tag below if you really want to read the whole thing; it's not for the faint of heart)