3 Things Meme, Spinnerina Style

This made me giggle today, so worth the repost ...

I've seen this thingy here and there, and thought it might be fun to play. It just needed a new spin on it, so I made up new categories.


3 Things I Often Say Aloud

• Time to sample for Quality!
• Hey, lover.
• What's goin' on?

3 Things I Say Inside My Head

• Shut up you stupid, stupid cow.
• I could kill you with my bare hands.
• Nice fupa.

3 Things I Really Should Throw Out

• A dress I fit into in 1995 that I hope to fit into again one day. Then I'll throw it out.
• The half and half ... it's making some sort of strange grainy things in my coffee.
• My entire collection of jeans, and start over.

3 Ways I Hope I Don't Die

• Eaten by cougar or bear
• Fire / house invasion (tie)
• Drowning / sharks (tie)

3 Flavors I Can't Stand

• Caraway seeds
• Black licorice
• Chalky liquid medicines, a la Pepto

3 Yoga Positions I Can Get Into



3 Positions I Can't Get Into




3 Articles of Clothing That I Won't Wear

• Mock turtleneck
• Corduroy pants
• Spike Heels

3 Ways I Think I Make the World a Better Place

• I make people laugh
• I am kind to people who are flustered in the grocery store line
• I sing

A to Z, part 2

[A is for aspirations:]
To be a good teacher.

[B is for beauty:]
The Gregorian Chant on the radio and the hot, strong coffee.

[C is for choices:]
Living in this place.

[D is for doubts:]
Whether I can always be this patient.

[E is for envy:]
People without cellulite.

[F is for favorite food:]
At the moment, fresh tomato and mayonnaise sandwich on fresh bread.

[G is for games:]
Scattergories!!!

[H is for hopes:]
That I will always remember to pause & enjoy.

[I is for If ...]
... I have to see that 6 Flags commercial one more time, I will scream.

[J is for just once...]
... a trip to the moon might be nice.

[K is for kids:]
That could be fun.

[L is for love:]
Found unexpectedly, amazingly, right here in Blogland.

[M is for memory:]
The way the sun blazed and glistened off the frozen branches at sunrise, and I went weak at the knees from the beauty of the sight, so that I had to sit down for the cry.

[N is for never:]
done cocaine & never will.

[O is for overdo:]
melted cheese.

[P is for phobias:]
Spiders. Drowning. Fire. Face eaten by cougar.

[Q is for quotation:]
"I persist on praising not the life I lead, but that which I ought to lead. I follow it at a mighty distance, crawling."
-- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

[R is for regret:]
That one thing ... lost forever.

[S is for sweets:]
Peanut Butter, Banana, & Honey Sandwich

[T is for thankful:]
for good health.

[U is for understand:]
Chemistry and physics.

[V is for vegetables:]
Edamame, sugar snap peas, summer tomatoes, eggplant, garlic from dad's garden, herbs.

[W is for worst:]
When I am joking and you don't get it.

[X is for excellence:]
Getting you to understand a difficult concept.

[Y is for yearn:]
for cool sand on my feet and the smell of October in the wild, wide ocean.

[Z is for zodiac:]
Scorpiette.

Yankee Candle Scents from the cutting room floor

Click picture for a super delicious surprise!!!

In the spirit of my Ice Cream Shoppe flavors, my friend Stefan and I were trying to come up with unlikely candle scents. Can you help?

Here's our list so far:

• highway diaper
• sputum
• colonoscopy
• tampax
• pork ribs
• ribbed for your pleasure
• town dump
• Alabama hot pocket
• last night's sheets
• food disposal
• bad dog!
• bad kitty!
• goat
• llama
• Auntie's a close talker
• "I'm in trouble."
• Ass
• Hosni
• college dorm
• bottle return center
• peanuts
• burnt hair
• low tide
• fleet week
• fleet enema
• Enemy
• Sweatsocks
• Armpit
• Bath water
• Anger
• Just Kill Me Already
• Colostomy
• Cleveland Steamer
• Hose
• Flabber
• Chunky
• somebody shit in my convertible
• Indian food
• New Jersey
• Toddler
• Hot Dog Water
• Pretension
• Waiting Room
  
• Onion Blossom
• Napalm
• Ben-Gay
• Converse
• Lobster
• Damp Sweater
• Acetonitrile
• Black Angus
• Despair
• Lymph
• Asparagus
• Exxon
• Lawyer
• Boys' Locker Room in Between JV and Varsity Games
• Wet dog
  
• Monkey drenched in day old wine

Leave your suggestions in the comment box please!

Do you feel encouraged to turn in your 8th grade baby picture and quote representing your philosophy in life, by viewing this poster?

Reader participation:

Twirling Girl has left a new comment on your post "I never cried so hard.":

Please use this word verification in a sentence:

minest

Please use the following word verification in a sentence.

Talk Amongst Yourselves.

Unplugging for a week and going to choir camp.
Serenity Now!!!

The ice cream shoppe is opening for the season!

It's time to open! Ice Cream Shoppe of Least Desirable Flavors. Before we write all the selections on the chalkboard, let's see if we can add to the list. Your most recent contributions have been added (in purple).

Acne

Asparagus
Asphalt
Astroglide
Ass
Asshat
Astroglide
Autumn Leaves
Bactine

Band-Aid
Bangers-n-Mash
Beef Barley
Beet

Bleu Cheese
Blood
Borgnine

Breath
Bum Fluff
Burnt Chicken Skin
Calzone
Canker
Cellulite
Choad
Cigar
Clam Chowder
Clams Casino
Cod Liver Oil

Compost

Copenhagen
Crunchy Frog
Curds-n-Whey

Curry
Defeat
Dentures
Dirty Girl
Dirty Sanchez
Dust Bunny
Edamame
Eggs Over Easy

Elmer's Paste

Feet
Fish & Chips
Flannel
Fredo
Fred Flintstone's feet
Fried Green Tomatoes

Fritz
Fungoid Tincture
Gauze
Goat Teat

Gobstopper Ketchup Slather
Grout
Guilt
Guinness (actually, that exists)
Haggis
Hamster
Hatred
Hobo

Horny Lady
Hosni

HPV
Huggies
Kitty Litter
Klean Prep
Kosher Dill
Kudzu

Leather
Melanoma Mudpie
Metal

Monkey Fur
Moonshine
Moth
Mothball
Motherf***ing Chocolate Milk!

Mountain Dew (I think that would be quite tasty, actually!)

My Plums
Non-Acetone Nail Polish Remover
Nose Crispitos
Noxzema
Nuts and Bolts
Nutty Chunks o' Nail
Orange Ya Glad I Didn't Say Banana
Pickles
Pimento
Pimple
Pipe Tobacco
Plaque
Pony
Preparation H

Processed Cheese
Psoriasis
Rich Corinthian Leather
Scabies-n-Rabies
Scunge
Scurvy
Self-Loathing
Shalimar
Shame
Sheep Teat
Shepherds Pie
Shoe Insert Surprise
Soapy Suds
Sperm Ice
Spiderweb
Spinach
Swamp Ass
Taco Salad
Toejammygoodness
Toner
Tongue Depressor

Tonsil
Toothpaste
Tube Steak
Unflossed
Vomint
WD-40
Wet Hairball
White School Paste
Whore
Wolverine

Woolen Mittens

Yeast Infection

Magnetic Poet I: Alex L

A while ago, I asked for your input in creating poetry out of the magnetic poetry wall that I painted onto my house. You delivered! Here at last are the creations, one at a time so that you can take them in, roll them around your mind, and bask in their meaning. Oh, I took some liberties with your words, because some of you had duplicate words with other people and I wanted to display them all together. There your creations dwell, on my wall. It's as if you were partying in my house, but minus the lame dip and the throwing up.

Here now:

"The Fate of the Hobo"

by Alex L.

(What Alex really said here was:

Hmmm a poem...

I call this piece the 'fate of the hobo'-
I am he,
The man with the plan,
the lonely passenger of life
with no choice but my fate,
why must do this...
I like squirrels,
I dont really want to kill them


I have no idea if you have those words on your wall but well... there it is enjoy.)

Oh yeah, we're doing lists this month.

Here are a few words that make me dry-heave, simply because they sound yucky to me:

nostril
follicle
uvula
fenagle

I notice I have trouble with words that end in a guttural "L".

What words make you dry heave?

Magnetic Poetry Time

Long ago I told you about the wall I painted with metallic paint for the purpose of posting magnetic poetry. I even composed some soulful, emo pieces and asked you to compose works to post. Today I noticed that the same poems that some of you wrote back then are still hanging out on my board. It's time to update! Would you like to help me? Take a look at the image above, and compose a masterpiece that I can post. This way, it will be as if you live in my home! Without the added benefit of walking by and smacking my booty. Have fun. Expose your emotional innards for us all to rummage through and discover the gems of your soul. Or else, you know, just write something dirty.

I'm away, so let's play Spinningories!

Scattergories style ... Your responses must begin with the first letter of your name.
I say and you think?

Famous Musician: Strauss
3 letter word: Sip
Street name: Sesame Street
Color: Sunflower
Vehicle: Subaru
TV Show: Scrubs
City: Seattle
Boy Name: Sean
Girl Name: Susan
Alcoholic Drink: Salty Chihuahua
Occupation: Surgeon
Flower: Sasanqua
Celebrity: Sonny Bono
Famous Leader: Sununu
Toy: Slinky
Animal: Snake
Food: Spaghetti
Something found in a kitchen: Spoons
Cartoon Character: Snoopy
Clothing item: Socks
Type of dessert: Souffle (of rapberry & chocolate, yum)
Reason for Being Late: Some sort of clusterfuck on I-95
Something You Throw Away: Silmy cucumbers
Something to treasure: Sapphire
Something to fear: Sanity, leaving.
Something that gives hope: Smile

[Swiped most unscrupulously from Christine.]

I am vacationing , so please take my quizzes.

If you have not already done so, you should take these quizzes to see how well you think you know me. If you already took them, it may be time for a refresher course:

Quiz #1: Take a Spin

Quiz #2: Another Spin

Quiz #3: A Spunful of Sugar

Drum roll please!!

OK, everyone has had long enough to share their input, so I must now announce the winners of my Art Contest. They turned out the way that I, myself, was leaning, so at least we are all in agreement about who can draw and who can almost draw. I'm a little sad that my muse and secret lover (Jamwall) only got honorable mention with one vote (his own); I had to vote my conscience (Tits). I hope that Jamwall will still treat me like an object and paddle my behind with blunt objects despite my betrayal.

Now then:

FIRST PLACE: Tits McGee

SECOND PLACE: Butchie



HONORABLE MENTION: Jamwall and Pope Terry

The first and second prize winners will receive crap from my house that has been incubated inside my shirt and/or pants for at least 3 hours, as soon as I have their mailing addresses and I find the appropriate crap to send, something that exemplifies the scope and beauty of this contest.

Everyone gets a certificate! Please print your certificate and display it proudly. See below.

Thank you to all who partcipiated. This contest has changed my view of you irreversibly and irrevocably. And all the other ir- words.

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Art Contest Extravaganza!

While all of you are getting ready to watch the Superbowl, I am agonizing over the most difficult decision of my life. I speak, of course, of my art contest and the volume of fine artwork that I received in response to my challenge. First of all, thank you and congratulations to all who entered. You are all winners!!! I did disqualify one entry that came in from Think Frustrated. Upon viewing your entries, it seemed to me that your drawings had nothing to do with my contest at all, and you were just trying to get us all to come look at your stick figures. Nice try. They were cute though. Had you even drawn a turtle shell on one of your drawings, you would have been totally in.

As I studied the entries, I found myself in a true dilemma. Each of them is appealing in its own way, disturbing different aspects of my psyche at turns.

Take a look:

Jamwall

"Sheer beauty and absolute terror at the same time."

I find this entry to be the most disturbed, and disturbing, of the four I received. There's sure a lot going on here. To me, it represent the soullessness of modern man and the quest for greatness in a milieu of mediocrity. Or else that Jamwall has been eating mind-altering mushrooms.

Pope Terry

"here's my entry, it's enititled skippy the weredeer.

If this isn't spinning girl then apologies and disregard this message."

By far the best part of Pope Terry's entry is the fact that it is drawn on what appears to be the back of some sort of work-related booklet, like maybe he was sitting in a meeting drawing this. Well, that and the giant brain.

Butchie

"If I don't win this there is no God."

Butchie's entry fills me with a confusing mixture of desire and loathing. I can't stop staring at that tiny little pierced penis. I want to touch it, and then tear the paper into tiny pieces.

(make usre you click-through for maximum enjoyment)

Tits McGee

"Drawing this cheered me up more than I can say."

Tits has been campaigning the hardest for a win, as seen in her comments. Hers was also the first entry to come in, which tells me that she really embraced the contest with her full bosom. I also like the sort of passive smirk on the Bambi, and the sideline encouragement of the turtle.

Now I find myself faced with the monumental task of choosing a winner, and I cannot do it alone. I guess this is why I never got a job at the Art Institute of America. It is simply too difficult!! Please weigh in on the following poll and I will consider your input when I make my final decision. I have also decided to send a prize to both the winner and the runner-up. I don't know what it will be, but you are guaranteed that it is crap from my house (the best kind of prize, as history has taught us).
Now then:

[NOW UPDATED!] Are you ready for art school?: A Spinning Girl Contest

Are you a Michelangelo trapped inside the body of a regular guy or gal? By golly, I think you are! And it's time for you to tap into that hidden talent! If you're not convinced, watch this stimulating, fast-paced, modern, inspiring video:

Now if you're ready, please draw one of the following characters and submit it to me. I will judge your work and if I choose your drawing* as the winning entry, I will mail you a fabulous prize! First, the rules:

1. You are not limited to hand drawn-sketches (although I have received one that is quite enthralling from Tits McGee). You may represent the subjects in any media, including sculpture, still-life, photography, written piece (haiku, short story, recipe), live reenactment with living animals, MS Paint, video, collage, yarn art, knitting, hokked rug, etc. No mimeographing!

2. You must email me your entry by midnight (EST) on January 31. That's 2 short weeks in which you could change your life!

3. You may submit as many entries as you like.

Good luck! Now sharpen your pencils!

Here are your lucky subjects (choose just one ... or draw all three in a ménage à trois ... whatever tickles your pickle!):

* notice I did not say If I decide your drawing most closely resembles the original in any way.

If you liked this, you may be interested in past contest-related posts.

My snowmistress is the most fabu of all the snowmistresses.

Think you can do better?
I doubt it.

Spinning through the Year: a meme I am pretty sure I made up.

I've seen a meme here and there in which you have to go back in your archives & post the first sentence from the first post of each month of the year. Fun! I thought I'd adapt it and post sentences in which I mention each month; now my very own meme has been born! Yes, it has slithered forth from my creative uterus to span the Internets worldwide!!! This also gives me a chance to see how good my writing was before I stopped blogging for real (did anyone notice?) ... please go back and read some of my old stuff and rediscover why this blog is so fabu!!! And happy closing of the year to you, my cyber-lovers. ~xo, Spinnerina

* Monkey and the Spinning Wheels in January 2006 (Grab an Oar ... )

*I can’t believe random people in cars have the capacity to hurt my feelings. Today, I got the “Go ahead, go ahead, no you go, go already!” wave from somebody and I could tell from the tone of their fingers and wrist that the hand was pissed at me. It bothered me for a good long time. It’s such a gorgeous day today. I can’t even conceive of how February will feel. My feet look f-ing fabu in these shoes. (Pad Thai Meditations)

*28. In March of 2004 I drank 3 bottles of wine by myself and scared myself so much that I never want to drink again.(100 Things, or However Far I Get)

*April showers bring May flowers. Happy spring HNT! (HNT: In Bloom)

*This past May, my roommate A. (A for Anyhoo) and I battled: Wasps, Carpenter Bees, Millipedes, and Spiders. I like the hymenopterae from a distance (not so much when their stingers are engrafted in my foot), but millipedes creep me out (have you noticed that they smell?) and spiders haunt my darkest night-time imaginings. (Close Encounters of the Bird Kind)


*Teachers pretend not to like snow days, and moan about the time having to be made up in June, about the quadratic formulas that won’t get practiced today, the verbs that won't get conjugated. (Wintry Mix)


*When I started blogging in early July, my main mission was to vent out some things that needed venting. My early posts were a mish-mash of ire-filled rampages (since deleted, so don’t even look) that nobody read. (This Posting Life)

*On August 26-29 of 2005, the London Zoo presented an exhibit known as Human Zoo, in which Real! Live! Humans! were put on display in an old bear enclosure next to the reptile house. It was so ridiculous. The one good thing about HZ is that it inspired me to write 3.5 really good posts in which I pretended to be a participant. (Back to the Zoo)

*I felt like the world dropped out from under me on September 11, 2001. (The Down & Dirty Blog Frolic I: My Ass is on Fire!)

*Then when all/most of the pinkies are up, I chant, "pinkies in the air ... pinkies in the air ... now do a dance!" and we wiggle in a circle.* Now I have their attention and I can talk. To this day the students who were on my bus to Boston in October pass me in the halls and put their pinkies in the air. (School of Life II: The Bag of Tricks)

*Shopping at Macy's last Sunday was a head trip. They are playing Christmas Music. Christmas music!!!! On November 6th! Apparently, according to their customer service, by "customer request" they start the music the same time they start their holiday displays, which is now. (Pomegranate Meditations)

*My desk drawer complete with cigarettes from Uruguay that Quilting girl found in a NYC taxicab on our trip in December, then hid in my luggage to find later. (a late but very special office Supply Wednesday)

What crappy gift are you?

You Are Socks!

Cozy and warm ... but easily lost. You make a good puppet.

What Crappy Christmas Gift Are You?

It's my birthday!

Please send love and cake.