Want!

Elvis collector's' edition PEZ!!!

I Get the Best Gifts (Part II)!

Today, I received some beautiful birthday follow-up presents. I love gifts! Or as Aughra would say, I love pressies! My friend Lulu gave me this beautiful set of jewels:

Then, a student, with whom I share a birthday, gave me this fabulous box-set of Star Wars PEZ!:


The emperor's face glows in the dark!!!!

Presents rock. On Wednesday, one of my students is bringing me lobsters. Freshly caught, by his grandpa. Can't wait to see that!!!

The Wall of PEZ

Last Friday was a big day in my classroom; it's always a red-letter day when I finally put up my Wall of PEZ. The kids in my study hall helped me sort them into categories. I only put up about 120 of my over 400 dispensers, since many that I have are duplicates. They are all gifts from students. If that isn't love, I don't know what is!

PEZ = Love

I don't even like PEZ candy that much; I just like the dispensers. Even though they are sort of doll-like. Don't you think you would learn better with all of these benevolent figurines staring down at you? Either that, or your Attention Deficit Disorder will be kept good & busy as you count, categorize, and ponder about them (or answer a question about Newton's Laws of Motion with the question, "Do you have a Big Bird PEZ?").

Purge

Time to clear the air. I've been carrying some of this stuff for a long time, and I need to spew it out so that I can go on living without this stain on my soul. Please don't judge me. All right, if you must --- go ahead.

Spinning Girl's Confessional

• Whenever I use Miss Crazybritches' chair at work, I intentionally leave the seat at its lowest point just to bug her.
• When people accidentally call my house instead of the Chinese restaurant (the numbers differ by one digit), I sometimes take their order.
• Sometimes, my first words in the morning are oh, sh**
• I stay in the shower extra long just to listen to the tinny tunes of my cheap WalMart radio.

• I am afraid of going blind. Yet, I always wished I could read Braille.
• And I learned sign language so I'd be ready when I went deaf.
• I wish I had room for a piano in my house.
• I have had vividly detailed fantasies involving at least 3 people who read my blog. Male and female.
• Once, on a 4-hour drive, I memorized the words to "Ice, Ice, Baby".
• I put on my pajama pants & tank top the instant I get home; on weekends & in the summer, I sometimes stay in them all day.

• I secretly sort of like the smell of B.O.
• When people talk to me at work, I am often secretly thinking "shut the f*** up!" or "who the f*** cares?!?" (not to you of course, my loyal work-pal readers! whew)
• I am fascinated by Cher.
• I often yell the "c" word (in my car) at stupid women drivers
• Once, when a guest was in my bathroom, I had to pee so badly I went in this PEZ mug. Which I still use.

• I have over 400 PEZ dispensers; yet I hate PEZ candy. Except peppermint.
• When I was 7, I pulled all the legs off a Daddy Long Legs and then put the remaining torso on the hot hood of my dad's Pinto and watched his 2 little jaws flailing.
• I am afraid that I will reincarnate as a Daddy Long Legs.
• I have secretly flipped off a sixth grader behind my desk. It felt great.
• Tonight for dinner I had a dish of hummus and a Diet Coke, in front of my computer screen.

• I once drank a screwdriver for breakfast. On a Tuesday morning. Before work.
• I once wrote "you parked too close" on a car window in Sharpie.
• I once had a crush on the owner of a BBQ restaurant so I sent him a napkin that said "Roses are red, honey is sweet; I don't keep coming here just for the meat!" and my phone number. He never called; I can't imagine why.
• Sometimes I wake up in the night and I am really afraid that I will die a childless old maid.
• I have given the finger to a school bus driver and a 5-year-old on a bike with training wheels.
• I have never intentionally stolen anything, but I did tell a really big lie once.

Oh, I feel so much better. That'll be $75.

And a disclaimer I learned from Kris:

Only one of these confessions isn't the truth.