The Barnyard Blues

A fellow blogger and I had a heated debate (heated, I tell you! Boy was it ever!) about barnyard animal sounds. This stemmed from a discussion about how onomatopoeia (quack quack, meow meow, woof woof) is different in different languages (in Estonian, the same 3 sounds are prääks prääks, näu näu, and auh auh). This conversation segued into a debate about people's thoughts about barnyard life. The discussion went something like this:


SG: I think the general population, when thinking of a barnyard sound, thinks cock-a-doodle-doo (or kikki-ri-ki-kii, in my case).

Sexy Other Blogger: Ya think so? Why, because of the cock part?

SG: No, because of the rooster on top of the barn.

SOB: Hmmm, I don't think so; I think it's probably moo.
SG: No way, man.

SOB: Oh, I think so.

SG: Care to make it interesting?

SOB: You're on, baby. By the way ... what are you wearing?

So a wager was made. Luckily, I have daily access to about 85 members of the general population*; I would have them answer this random question for me. I just so happened to be giving a quiz on Newton's Laws of Motion the next day (you don't know them, do you?**), so it was the perfect opportunity to show SOB just how right I was.

Results:

Behehehehe!!!: 1 vote.

And good job on the quiz, Christian!

(A next-day inquiry confirmed "behehehehe" as a goat sound)

Neigh?: 3 votes

Quack/Cluck: 1 vote

(I believe this type of cross-species union is genetically impossible)

Snort: 2 votes



grrrrrrrr: 1 vote

(Pam lives on a bear farm, so these results are skewed)

The startled bicalllck!

a hen makes when the egg leaves her cloaca:

1 vote

A dying zebra: 1 vote

(I believe this outlier should be eliminated,

as Andrew was picking his nose at the time and didn't really hear the question)

was up: 1 vote

(I guess the barnyard is in New Haven)

bawk bawk: 2 votes


hee-haw: 1 vote



eeeoinkkkkkkkkkkkk: 1 vote



quack: 4 votes


onk: 1 vote

(?!)


cluck cluck: 4 votes


baa: 5 votes


one for jamwall

mooooo: 40 votes

Cock-a-doodle-doo: 1 vote!

Discussion and Conclusions:

Moo by a landslide. However, Gabriella is the nicest girl EVER so her cock-a-doodle-doo counts as 50 votes, so I still win. Christian has an A- in science. Andrew picks his nose. Most of the kids in suburban Connecticut have only seen farms in books or on TV; farm life is as foreign to them as life in Africa. However, if you tally up all the results, what we have is a typical storybook farm: a buttload of cows (one of whom wears a bell), a donkey, a few sheep and horses, some pigs, one dying zebra, one gangsta-rapper, a few chickens, and atop it all, proudly crowing to welcome the dawning morn, one bantam rooster.

* No minors were harmed in this process.

** Newton's Law Refresher Course
NL1: Law of Inertia. An object in motion will remain in motion at a constant speed, in a straight line, unless a force acts upon it. Ditto an object at rest.
NL2: An object accelerates in the direction of the force that acts upon it. This acceleration is inversely proportional to the object's mass. Also F= ma.
NL3: Every action force has a reaction force that is equal and opposite.

Today I Learned to Make a Puppet. A Puppet Like a Mitten.

This puppet is like a mitten.

How do play with this puppet? At first take your mitten and try to make it alive. Try to move the mitten and think what it can to talk to other mittens.

Which is its voice?

If you think up what person you want for your play then you must make a pattern. The pattern must be so big that it's will be cosy and handy for you. To main pattern you can add the ears. The ears sew on the head. The mittens can make of thick textile. The eyes can be button or make of paper.
See the pattern to make it here.

(Really, I was searching for Teddy Bears Dressed as Other Animals, and I Googled the word "karu", which is Estonian for "bear", and I found this. It's sort of endearing, in a sad way ... isn't it? I want to move the mitten and think what it can talk to other mittens!!!)

Nostalgika VIII: Stirrings of Prepubescent Desire [repost]

I was so in love with Martin S-C when I was in elementary school. I have mentioned this here before, in my Black Book post and in one of my Meditations. He played the lead in The Mikado, so as far as I was concerned, he was a superstar.

Looking back on the way I felt about him, I see patterns that still exist in my adult life. His effeminate fragility attracted me, as did his delicate bone structure. I find that I am attracted to either really ridiculously manly men, or else men who are really in touch with their womanly side. Martin didn't play rough like other boys. Martin played the viola and read big, fat books.

I pined. I pined, while he was ignorant of my existence. I fantasized that I would be hospitalized and he would sit at my bedside and hold my hand (I also fantasized that I had a dollhouse filled with real, tiny, Borrower-sized people. I would pick up the boy, pull down his pants, and insert a safety pin into the little hole at the tip of his penis. I knew that, despite the pleasant tugging sensation these thoughts gave me behind my navel, I should not tell anyone ... because they were very bad thoughts. This fantasy may have more bearing on the current state of my love life than my love for MSC, come to think of it). I still find any relationship in which I am not in a state of desperate angst to be emotionally unsatisfying. Also, he had a British accent. I like accents, as long as they aren't Russian (sorry, Boris). Since puberty, the ear of my desire has become more attuned to words being whispered and shouted in Spanish; but in 3rd grade, Love spoke British.

The other day, I found two newspaper clippings from the Martin days. See? I was a stalker even then. What a gold mine! Here they are:

Martin was in the newspaper for taking a class in which he learned to conduct the orchestra. Third-grade SG thinks: I can't believe I am in love with somebody famous! This pattern continues to the present day, of course, but you always remember your first brush with fame. Well ... I wished I could have brushed Martin ... instead, he waved his arms with passion and focus while I sat on the sidelines, eating funny little acrid-tasting pellets that I found on the carpet during Story Time.

This was a great day for me. In grade 4, I was in the same class as Martin again (a 5th grader! With upper-lip fuzz!). We won (!!) a bookmark-making contest and were featured in the newspaper. Even though I traced my picture of Winnie the Pooh, my bookmark got the blue ribbon (that's me on the left; check the hair. circa 1977). Martin got 2nd place. See us all showing each other our bookmarks with pride! I am posing for the camera, but my heart is pounding as this photo is being taken, and my eyes are full of his ivory, translucent skin and his pursed little lips ... his well-appointed trousers and his tidily turned collar. In my mind, the two of us are standing together on the Olympic podium, our arms around each other as we listen to the National Anthem. I am so mad that Jenny and Aleta, with their sub-par bookmarks, separate us.

I'm fairly certain that, despite our shared fame, Martin S-C still does not know who I am. Or ... maybe ... he has just blocked me out, because the heartache of our unrequited love is too painful to bear! I am pretty sure that's how it is. Not that he never looked my way, with all my funny voices and my straight-armed, short-panted gait. And the fact that I told him that David Cassidy was my brother. And that I was half-Chinese (because I thought that would be cool, as though all-Estonian wasn't good enough. I look half Chinese, don't I?) No, I am pretty sure that once he realized I was simply out of his league, he nursed his heart back to health and tried to find a way to move on. I sure wish I could.

Such a great book, but ...

I am loving The Magicians by Lev Grossman except for his description of Estonian as a "crooked, gypsy-like language." Please come up with your own description of Estonian. I am thinking of compiling a list for the letter that he will shortly be receiving from me. I was thinking "lyrical and vowel-rich."

Olympic Gold for Estonia

Yeah!!

I felt like a repost, so ...

100 Things


1. My first language was Estonian. I still speak, read & write it. All the time!
2. I didn't really speak English until I went to kindergarten,
3. where I learned the word "soon" and thought it meant one o'clock.
4. I thought this until I was 11 years old.
5. Because it rhymes with "soon", you see?
6. My twin sister Twirling Girl has always, always been there.
7. I don’t know what I would do without her.
8. My baby sister Tuuna Taco is my other best friend.
9. My parents are some of the best people I know,
10. And I don't tell them enough, so I am telling them now.
11. Since they read my blog.
12. Which sort of censors me, but that is probably a good thing.
13. I can be gross at your blogs, right?
14. I worry that if I ever meet any of you, you will discover that I am not really as pretty as the persona I have created
15. although I have begun to think of myself as "Spinning Girl" and would probably answer to it if someone called to me.
16. Sometimes I get terribly lonely.
17. Often, I love being alone & doing what I want, when I want.
18. I need to tune my piano so that I can play it.
19. I need to clean my chimney so that I can make bigger fires without fearing that I am going to start a chimney fire.
20. Some pieces of music are so beautiful to me that I cannot contain the emotion I feel when I hear them, and I just cry.
21. I can’t stand most of the music I hear on the radio.
22. There are some exceptions.
23. I have an almost unholy obsession with Yellow Ledbetter and every time I hear those first few hesitant guitar notes, I smile with glee.
24. I had a small alcohol problem once.
25. By small, I mean that it had a short life. Maybe two years of really drinking in a way I felt was out of control.
26. Plus 15 years of wondering if maybe I drank a little too much?
27. I gave up the booze on August 6, 2003.
28. In March of 2004 I drank 3 bottles of wine by myself and scared myself so much that I never want to drink again.
29. In July of 2006 I accidentally took a giant swig of my cousin’s vodka tonic, but only because our cups were identical and it really was by accident.
30. If I drink on purpose, I am afraid I will not stop, ever.
31. I still get mad that something so fun could turn into something so bad, but I’m OK with it and I don’t miss it. It just pisses me off that alcohol was such a mean trickster bastard.
32. I become smitten very easily.
33. Recently I was smitten with someone in my grad class.
34. But he never called when he said he would, so I had my answer.
35. That’s too bad, because I still find him really attractive even though I don’t talk to him much.
36. I am also completely infatuated with Jamwall, even though we have never met, because he gets me and we feed off each other’s sick humor in a truly exhilarating way.
37. Right now, I am imagining Jamwall naked.
38. Are you?
39. Someday, I hope to spend a weekend with him, romping through a condiment village that we have built together.
40. Sometimes I am perfectly happy with my life the way it has gone thus far.
41. But I am always ready for the next big, good thing.
42. I would like to be a mom, though not necessarily give birth.
43. Maybe I just need a pony!
44. Or a dog, a non-pooping dog.
45. Having to pick up shit is the one major thing keeping me from getting a dog.
46. Sharing my living space with a box of urine and shit and giant hair balls is what is keeping me from getting a cat.
47. I had the most amazing cat once, and he will never be equaled.
48. I fear the spider, but only once it has reached a certain size.
49. Spiders of Acceptable Size (SAS) are allowed to live freely in my home.
50. Spiders of Unacceptable Size – SUS-- are thrown outside, not killed, unless they are huge or move very fast.
51. I would probably go crazy if I woke up and discovered an SUS clinging to the tip of my nose with all 8 of its legs.
52. I can honestly say that I love my job.
53. It is like a dream. A job cannot be this perfect, can it?!?!?
54. I sometimes fear becoming debilitated and unable to teach anymore; what would I do then?!?!?
55. I don’t spend much time fearing the future though.
56. Most of my fears are fleeting thoughts, lucky me.
57. Maybe I am stupidly optimistic. That is fine with me.
58. I take life’s little luxuries very seriously.
59. My bed.
60. My coffee.
61. That’s a short list, but those are the two biggies.
62. When I was a child, my favorite place to visit was my grandparents’ house in upstate New York.
63. Sometimes we had to weed the garden, and we had to finish before we could swim.
64. This taught me self-discipline and delayed gratification.
65. I used to pretend I was a poor little slave girl, weeding my little row of carrots in the blazing hot sun.
66. Nothing equals the bliss of a cold swim after you have been sweating in the blazing hot sun.
67. There was (is) a spring-fed pond on my grandparents’ back property.
68. It is stocked with fish that were caught elsewhere & put there by my family.
69. They have lived & multiplied there for 50 years.
70. I used to catch grasshoppers in the meadow and then feed them to the fish.
71. I used to be very good at catching grasshoppers; the most I ever caught was 72.
72. Grasshoppers!!!
73. I fear that one day a swarm of locusts will land on me, as payback.
74. This fear, however, is fleeting.
75. When my family sells my grandparents’ house, I don’t think I will be as sad as I was over the past 10 years, watching it decline from what it once was.
76. Nothing gold can stay.
77. I hope that my parents’ home becomes that way for their grandchildren ... a really special place where you can always go and be happy.
78. I believe it is really important to listen to children and not try to spank too much of their personalities out of them.
79. Like the boy who made the grappling hook; it made me really happy to see that.
80. I can think of 5 teachers off the top of my head who would have said, “put that stupid toy away.”
81. Of course, I teach science, and can justify “allowing” a homemade grappling hook in my classroom.
82. It scares me how little science some people know.
83. I’m a little bit obsessed with Carl Sagan, and rightly so.
84. Shadows of Forgotten Ancestors is one of my favorite books of all time.
85. I should read it again soon. I tend to reread books I love several times.
86. I have read Lord of the Rings at least 22 times from start to finish, plus countless times of reading just certain parts.
87. For me, rereading a good book is like visiting a place that I love.
88. When I want to escape for a while, I go to Middle Earth.
89. I’m OK with being a total geek.
90. I have amazing tits, so I can get away with it.
91. Are you imagining my tits right now?
92. Go ahead, then. I am OK with being objectified by you.
93. Shit, I forgot about my parents reading this.
94. Sorry mom and dad, sometimes I say dirty things to be funny.
95. Dirty and funny is one of my favorite combinations.
96. Wow, 100 is a lot.
97. I might have dyslexia because I often reverse “tomorrow” and “yesterday” in my speech, regardless of what language I am speaking. I think those two concepts got stored incorrectly in my Wernicke.
98. I am a huge procrastinator, and I did this instead of grading papers.
99. I always feel better after a good day of procrastinating.
100. I’ll feel even better later when I get that shit done. Thank you for reading!

SpiBloPoDa

I was so very envious when Todd and Brooke participated in NaBloPoMo. How wonderful to be "forced" to post every day for an entire month. It's hard!!! Right, Madge? I've been so very lame in my posting. So today I resolve to post, but I am keeping my posting goals very small. But let's all participate! I am calling it ...

SPIBLOPODA

Spinnerina's Blog Posting Day

My challenge to you, fellow blogger, is to POST TODAY. Even if you haven't blogged in a few days, weeks, even months, TODAY IS OUR DAY. Now go out there, and air your naughties!!!!

............................................................................................

As for me, I'd like to share a few thoughts:

• I sent Tits a bacon wheel. Go see!
• I gave Jamwall an Avenging Narwhal for Christmas. I also gave him ... never mind. Although, strangely ... the red welt on my ass is identical to the shape of his hand.
• My tree is still up, and I light it every night, and I will do so until February 1. It's SpiLiChriTre, after all!
• I went and saw The Singing Revolution, and I am so very glad I did. If you live in or near NYC, perhaps you should too. We are a small, proud nation!!!
• I discovered that my Personal DNA personality type is "benevolent architect." I like that; I'm going to call myself that.
• Henceforth, you shall refer to me as "Benevolent Architect Spinnerina." You will commence in your comments.
• Hover your mouse over each of the colors in the crazy-ass grid below, to see what that means:
  
  
  
  
  Take the test here!

The Singing Revolution [UPDATED!]

UPDATE: See the Wall Street Journal Video of an interview with the makers of this film:

WSJ Interview: The Singing Revolution

I am so glad that somebody made this movie to tell the tale of our small nation. It is a documentary about how, in 1989, a million Estonians gathered in Tallinn and sang for days, beginning the wave that eventually caused the Soviet Union crumble to the ground. I can't wait to see it, and I am so proud to be an Estonian at this time, when finally our story is brought to the cinematic world.

Click the image to watch the trailer!

Held over in New York City Dec 28, 2007- January 1, 2008!

Village East Cinema City

181 2nd Avenue
New York, NY 10003
(212) 529-6998


SHOW TIMES:
12:00 noon each day.

Reason #17 Why I Love My Job

Missy wrote a paper about an experiment she conducted comparing the relative upper-body strengths of males and females (with a baseball vs. softball debate as the foundation). In the Real Life Applications portion of her abstract, she wrote the following:

Bonus points to any student who mentions an obscure Baltic sport in her final science paper!!! A+!!!

We are a small, but proud nation.

I get excited when I see the Estonian flag anywhere, like here, hanging next to the Finnish flag at Columbia University in the International Studies building.

Slowly, we are infiltrating the world!

Meditations on a Chilly Mannequin (reposting is my life)

Why are these poor, poor mannequins displayed in shop windows wearing next-to-nothing on a day when it is 22 degrees out? I, the potential customer passing by, am not tempted to buy these little items on a day like this, and especially when these cold, hard mannequins look so uncomfortable in them. Their cold, hard little nipples do not entice me either. They could chip ice. Eat a cheeseburger, you skinny perky bitch!

One time, in band camp … oh, who am I kidding? I never went to band camp! Estonian Girl Scout camp, baby! All the way! I think one of the high points of camp was when my friend Kulp and I decided to try “smoking” so we rolled up a bunch of cotton balls into a notebook-paper cylinder, lit it, and took a huge drag. After I recovered from the second-degree burns on my larynx, I decided that smoking might not be a healthy habit. It wasn’t until later that I began to crave the leaf, and while I never became a smoker, I kissed a lot of guys who did, just so I could get a contact buzz.

In 1984, also at camp, we went on this gigantic hike, wherein myself and 13 other people got lost in the woods of northern Ontario for 14 hours. It was scary, yet fun. At one point, we crossed a swamp, and Royd dropped all of the loaves of bread in the water. We survived on 2 boxes of raisins, a smoked meat stick, and 2 cans of beer shared between the 14 of us. We had already decided whom we would eat if we were lost for days, and luckily it wasn’t me (too stringy). As we hunted for a trail and fresh water, I decided I wanted to look pretty when they found my body so I put on blue eyeliner. 15 minutes later we hit a road and I’m pretty sure it was my blue eyeliner that scored us the lift from that pickup truck. Either that, or my 22 plastic bangle bracelets.

I was so fashionable in the 80's. Ohhhh, yeah. I had the little purse with the wooden handles and the interchangeable button-on covers. I had penny loafers with real pennies in them, sometimes dimes because I'm a rebel that way ... My hair feathered in the most perfect way, starting right in the middle at the part and traveling all the way down the side in a roll that ended at my shoulders. I wore the button-down shirt with the ribbon tied in a bow at my neck. And what about those sweaters with the puffy sleeves? Yes. Argyle vests? Yes. Knickers? Parachute pants? Adidas sneakers? Rubber bracelets? Headgear?? Yes, yes, yes, yes, oh god, yes.

I used to love shoelaces and ribbons with little pictures on them, like ice cream cones or pineapples, or little jumping frogs. I could not have enough of those. Today, I saw a girl with a belt that had little cherries embroidered on it, and I had a flashback to elementary school. It hit me like a wave. So fuck you again, Amy Campbell!

There was a life.

Peter
February 13, 1960 - January 23, 2007

This amazing man has left us. He was diagnosed with germ cell cancer in September. He had gone through chemotherapy to the end of December, and was doing well. Unfortunately, the treatment also affected the healthy cells in his lungs. He was admitted back to the hospital last week with respiratory difficulties that progressively worsened. He was put on a ventilator Monday night to give him some rest from the labored breathing. His heart stopped 5 times that night, but each time they were able to revive him. On Tuesday morning, his heart just wouldn't respond anymore.

He leaves a beautiful wife and two small boys, and an enormously expansive Estonian community.

My two abiding memories of him are from the woods of the Muskoka region of Ontario; my first encounter was in 1984, when I was on a hike with 14 other teenagers and we got lost in the woods for 10 hours. He came barging out of the trees, a picture of vigor and strength in full fatigues, to rescue us (he didn't; we lost all faith when he started blowing his whistle and yelling for help). He was part of that ordeal, and having survived it binds all sixteen of us for life. It is a famous tale that still gets told every time this group gets together.

The second memory is from five years ago, when he taught me something wondrous. We were in the Muskoka sauna, at midnight, and we went swimming. A small group of us swam out to the middle of the lake and slowed our breathing down and then submerged ourselves completely into the cool, dark water and just hovered there, listening to the deep water sounds. There were stars and northern lights and dark, dark skies. There was only dark, and water, and breathing, and celestial oneness. It was a meditative, hypnotic moment.

This was a man who had an enormous life-force and whose joy filled a room. He embraced the sounds of wind and rainfall. He lived in the desert of Saudi Arabia for 8 years and was able to articulate what he learned there with poetic respect. He was fully alive, and such a person does not deserve to be taken from us.

What I will take away is the knowledge that each life touches another life. What do I want my touch to be?

Peter's life has taught me to be mindful of that.

Morning Exercises

Sometimes in order to lubricate my writing bone, I have to do some sort of little exercise. I will journal at a mad pace for 3 pages (thanks Julia!) when I first get up in the morning. You should see the garbage that comes out (mmm good coffee crows cawing, damn it! Shut the fuck up. Black crows with orange eyes. Orange, I hate that color. I like blue. Blue green purple azure teal turquoise. Turquoisy. Noisy. Your beautiful lips & Oh your brown, brown eyes. Shit shit I have a zit.).

Another exercise is to do dic-flip. I take the dictionary, jam my finger in, and flip to that page. I write down whatever word my finger is on, unless it is a prefix or suffix, then I take the next nearest one. Then I write about it, or what it makes me think about.

You can see that maybe I need to get out more.



green around the gills
When I was younger, on weekends we would go upstate (NY) and visit my grandparents; often, this would include a fishing trip with my dad. We went one at a time, as the boat was quite small! He had a little rowboat. He would always row and I would fish. Sometimes, I would cast my line into a tree, but with experience I got really good at casting sideways so that it would just settle between the low-hanging trees and the water. the most exciting fish to catch is the pickerel. The hardest fish to catch is the American Eel, they pull like a motherf***er and Cannot be held onto, for they are so very slimy. You have to cut their necks and kill them in the boat, or they will wriggle out of your bucket and back into the lake. And yes, we eat them. Smoked! The Estonian word for eel is angerjas (UN-gare-yuz). The best part of fishing was coming ashore. I would have to stand and sort of lean forward so that the bow would elevate somewhat and my dad could more easily drive the boat ashore. We used to call it "the moon ship."



woody
heh heh.


percussive
Before I wanted to be a teacher, I went to school for physical therapy; one of the least pleasant types of therapy was for Cystic Fibrosis, when the patient has to lie on their chest with their head facing downward, and the therapist hammers on their back ("postural drainage and percussion") while they cough up all the mucus that has accumulated in their lungs.

I like the job I chose. Though at times, there is still mucus.



Österreich (Austria)
I had a stamp collection. It was a gift from my uncle, and it came with certain stamps and a huge book to put them in. I still have it! I think some of the stamps might be worth some money by now.

Here are the rest of the words that came up:
seize
tube foot
granary
con brio (with vigor!)
mask
soapstone

I was going to write about all of them, but I easily lose interest in things I begin, despite my best intentions. I need to wrap gifts and drink my coffee. Maybe you can write about them, or do a dic-flip of your own.

'Cuz I need to go out.

A small, but proud people

I was digging through my stuff and came across this photo of myself and my cousins at a World Festival of some kind, probably in Schenectady NY, and it looks like my small but proud nation had a booth. Notice our matching ethnic costumes, which my mother made! Estonians have many different regional costumes, but ours are from the Setu culture in southeastern Estonia, where my grandfather was born, in a town called Petseri (or Pechory -- now part of Russia, alas) Many people in this region are of this culture, a subset of Estonians who have their own dialect and many of whom are Orthodox Christian (we are not).

Here is a little bit more about them:

Setu

And here is a video of some Setu singing:

I'm just going to apologize in advance. [*now updated with even more photos!!!*]

Photo Journey Part 2: The Middle Years

yes, so, I skipped some of the awkward years when I did my first photo-journey a few weeks ago. You'll soon see why. But a week or so ago I was organizing (if you can call it that) a photo box and discovered these tasty nuggets. Enjoy! (You'll want to click to enlarge. (Enlarging is thrilling!!!)

when sexy fails, try for "fun-loving"



This is me at the height of my pubescent greasiness.

Braces, acne, bad hair, semi-successful attempts at beauty.

I just posted this to cleanse your palate and remind you how cute I am. Was. Could anything be sweeter than TT hanging onto me, in her giant frilly dress, and me in my orange belly tank (age 5)?!? I didn't think so. These are assorted semi-cousins to the right. None of whom ever played John & Maria. Well, maybe now that they are married, they do. Just not with me.

I turned out OK.

The Down & Dirty Blog Frolic (II): Tickle Torture, Spinnerina Style

The subject: Spinning Girl, freshly home from vacation and bleary-eyed from her month of homelessness. Having subjected herself to an open question-and-answer session here, she must now face the music.

Slyde said... a question, huh? ok...why don't you ever call? It’s lonely out here in the cyberverse...p.s. it was nice to see you drop by the site the other week. I was honored :)
I tried to call, but it keeps telling me that you were away from your desk at the moment, or with a client. What do you do, work for a living?!? Also, your blog is hot stuff; your template messes with my browser, though, so I only stop by when I have the patience.

miss kendra said... how far is spinning girl's house, Connecticut from say, Salem Massachusetts? And would spinning girl's house be amenable to a visit say, around the holidays, were someone from California to find herself suddenly on the east coast?
I am exactly 101.101 miles from Salem. This distance can be traversed by the spinmobile in less than 2 hours. Your wish is my command! Beware, though, for Salem (as you well know) is a hotbed of anti-feminine activity. I speak, of course, of the witch trials of old.

Übermilf said... Let no one claim Estonian women aren't hot.
This story speaks for itself. And let us not forget the hottie in the ballpit. Meowr!

DaMasta said... When can I move in?
Yesterday. No, the day before.


"K" Fingerett said... I'm sorry, I'm still stuck on your last "Discuss" post aka the "wtf post" ...Now for a question...Maybe I missed it, because you post so often and I don't get on hear as much as I used to... But, what ever happened to the monkey?
Since you are relatively new to the scene, and started coming around after the Monkey heyday, I will forgive your use of the term “The Monkey”. I must warn you, however, that he would be greatly disdained by your use of this term. He is simply “Monkey”; just as you aren’t “The Fingerett.” I won’t tell him, though, and let’s just keep your error on the QT; otherwise we would be covered with pellets o’ poo.

As for Monkey’s whereabouts, I believe he is resting. After our visit in January, when we fell in love, Monkey was quite heartbroken. He has been spotted from time to time, which eases my mind as to his well-being. Monkeys need their rest, and his hiatus corresponds perfectly with the hibernation period (a little-known fact) of wild monkeys, so I am not worried. If I see him, I will tell him that you asked after him.

Lee Ann said... Why do men have nipples?
To hold their titanium jewelry, of course.

UberGoober said... What is the air speed and velocity of a Sparrow carrying a one-pound coconut?
To answer this question, please consult the following pictogram.

Then, use this simple formula to do the necessary calculations. Duh!

Lightning Bug's Butt said... Do you think tumbleweeds ever find the other bushes lazy?
It is well known that tumbleweeds have a rather holier-than-thou attitude in their approach to all other flora.

Madge said... Do you have any pets?
I had the most wonderful cat, Juku, who died in 2001 of heart failure. I may have another cat soon, now that I don’t have a bitchy landlord.

tits mcgee said... Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near?
Because, just like you, they long to be close to me.

Brooke said... Do you wanna make love? Or do you just wanna fool around?
Is it the first date? Then no. But if we've been out a few times, I'll let you feel me up over my sweater, a little bit.

Juliabohemian said... Why a chicken? Why not a duck?
My thoughts exactly. The goose is also under-represented.

Osbasso said... Verdi "Requiem" in May, 2007. Wanna come out?

Music brings people together.

B.E. Earl said... Why hasn't "Boy's Life" by McCammon been adapted to the big screen yet?
Way overdue. I would hope the director could do it justice. Otherwise, I’d prefer my imagination to any artist’s rendering. Definitely one of my top 5 favorite books of ALL TIME (trust me on this one, folks, and go out & get it).

Kat said... ...seeing as it's been on my mind lately...how do you feel about half torsos?
On myself, I prefer a whole torso. In art, I much prefer a half torso to a headless full torso.

kris said... Dear SG, Not the most positive question, but . . .What is your biggest regret?
I have a few regrets, which I keep to myself. My biggest regret involves throwing something away, which I needed later. But I believe that DaMasta’s no-regrets philosophy is a good one, and I try to model myself after that now that I have discovered it. Thanks, chica, for helping me to live a better life.

jamwall said... yeah, what's your new address? Its time to resume the swap-o-crap proceedings! :) you can e-mail that to me, btw.WORD VERIFICATION: YVEGBOY <--- yodeling veggie boy

The swap-o-crap is one of my favorite blog inventions. Bring it on!

DaMasta said... ... And how soon after I move in can I start sleeping in your bed?
Right after you buy me dinner and rub my feet, just like everybody else. Plus, you are already in the pigpile, so it's just a matter of acquiring a proper blanket.

Anonymous said... are you really related to jiggs casey?
Jiggs and I hope to marry, so after we tie the knot he will be related to me and all my brood.

hyena9 said... What is your personal philosophy on life?
Don’t overthink it.

Bill said ... I have several questions:

Why is it funnier to say bum than it is to say ass?
I must disagree. But funnier than both of these is “coolie”, and the topper is “gadonkadonk”.

Why do very old men on buses who sit beside you make unconscious loud smacking sounds with their lips?
Because, despite the fact that their ears are huge, they can’t actually hear well enough to know that they are making sounds.

How do people tell the difference between a fart and a dump? I mean, how do they know they aren't just going to shit their pants when they let go?
I find potty humor childish and tasteless (as evidenced here and here), so I will not dignify that with a response.

mp said... Why do you pretend not to be a lesbian?
Because most of the gals who hit on me really aren’t my type, and I hope that by laying low I will happen upon the love of my life unexpectedly at Home Depot.

Dave Morris said... Do bees do doobies?
No.

jiggs said... she sells sea shells by the sea shore. Can you say that 5 times fast?
Watch your mail for the bill to replace my monitor after it blew a fuse because of “moisture of unknown origin”.

BadGod said... What is Fermat's Last Theorem? How was it solved? Which is more powerful, gravity or electricity? What is the biological basis of consciousness? The GUT-Power (Grand Unified Theory) was divided into four fundamental powers. Name them and your least favorite sexual position.

In Xanadu did Kubla Khan
A stately pleasure-dome decree:
Where Alph, the sacred river, ran
Through caverns measureless to man
Down to a sunless sea.
So twice five miles of fertile ground
With walls and towers were girdled round:
And there were gardens bright with sinuous rills,
Where blossomed many an incense-bearing tree;
And here were forests ancient as the hills,
Enfolding sunny spots of greenery.
But oh! that deep romantic chasm which slanted
Down the green hill athwart a cedarn cover !
A savage place! as holy and enchanted
As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted
By woman wailing for her demon-lover !
And from this chasm, with ceaseless turmoil seething,
As if this earth in fast thick pants were breathing,
A mighty fountain momently was forced:
Amid whose swift half-intermitted burst
Huge fragments vaulted like rebounding hail,
Or chaffy grain beneath the thresher's flail:
And 'mid these dancing rocks at once and ever
It flung up momently the sacred river.
Five miles meandering with a mazy motion
Through wood and dale the sacred river ran,
Then reached the caverns measureless to man,
And sank in tumult to a lifeless ocean:
And 'mid this tumult Kubla heard from far
Ancestral voices prophesying war!
The shadow of the dome of pleasure
Floated midway on the waves;
Where was heard the mingled measure
From the fountain and the caves.
It was a miracle of rare device,
A sunny pleasure-dome with caves of ice!
A damsel with a dulcimer
In a vision once I saw:
It was an Abyssinian maid,
And on her dulcimer she played,
Singing of Mount Abora.
Could I revive within me
Her symphony and song,
To such a deep delight 'twould win me,
That with music loud and long,
I would build that dome in air,
That sunny dome! those caves of ice !
And all who heard should see them there,
And all should cry, Beware! Beware!
His flashing eyes, his floating hair!
Weave a circle round him thrice,
And close your eyes with holy dread,
For he on honey-dew hath fed,
And drunk the milk of Paradise.
(Kubla Khan or A Vision in a Dream, a Fragment -- Samuel Taylor Coleridge.)


... and my favorite position is the one where you keep scrubbing and scrubbing the blackboard while I stand over you and thrash you with a shelalegh, insisting that it is still dirty, and then you cry.

BadGod said... Also......Name three machines that are 'soulful' according to Jeremy Clarkson. I’m waiting, woman.
1. The George Foreman grill.
2. The close-and-play record player.
3. The weed whacker.

t2ed said... Why did Chris Robinson & Kate Hudson?
Because Nipsy Russel.

Rrramone said... Why?
Because no matter how high the ladder climbs, there’s always one more rung.

And because you were bad.

Sleep Goblin said... How likely is Spinning Girl to be in the Louisville, Kentucky area on October 21st, when her good friend Sleep Goblin is getting married?
I’ve consulted my astrological chart, and my magic 9-ball. While most signs point to “probably not”, there is a giant possibility of some serious snail-mail-love coming your way right around that time.

Bill said... How many times have you watched "Christmas in Connecticut"?
Precisely zero. Celebrated Christmas ... 37 times.

MadMeer said... You know what would be good? If you would stop being on holiday, that is what would be good. Okay okay. I'll ask your damn question, but I won't like it! What should I be when I grow up? Oh, and now that I am unpacked, I have something for you. Can you send me your address? I promise it will not be anything stored in a Christmas tin.
Bring it on! As for what you should be when you grow up, how about a pastry chef? In my own kitchen?

miss kendra said... when will my lawyer get the insurance company to give me my damn money so I can move on with my life?
Yesterday. No, the day before.

Will I be as cool as you someday?
Honey, your level of coolness is my goal.

FRITZ said... What does your favorite bra look like?
I prefer to support my breasts with one of these.

Lee Ann said... How long are you going to be gone?
This time, only a week. Someday, I will be gone forever.

FU said... what's green and smells like pork?............Kermit’s finger.ok.. Not really a question. coz I gave the answer.ok here's a question: do you get dizzy from constantly spinning?
That is a great joke. It gives me a visual that is unmatched in its ability to promote dry heaves. As for spinning, I don’t actually spin on the Z axis (as BOBI once imagined). Instead, I spin a long and winding tale.


Bill said... Where the hell are you holidaying? The moon? Get your ass back here!
I brought you some green cheese and an American flag that I found.

Ricardo Montalbán said... Why have you forsaken me?
Tattoo was my first love, you know.

Freiya said... Hmmmm, a question.......what sky type event (like eclipses, northern lights, pretty atmospheric stuff) do you want to see most? oh and a more general one, what one item you have would you save if you could only save one thing?
I would love to see the green flash. And if I could save just one thing, it would be my leather box full of photos.


jiggs said... you're back!!!
Barely!


Kat said... I concur with Bill. It’s very hard to stalk someone when you don't know where they are.the wv gods need me to round up the pigs now: runhogz
Soooo-eeeeeee!
I have so many restraining orders against people from blogland; one more won’t make a difference.

aughra said... The first election you ever voted in, and what about it that made you passionate about politics. This is assuming that you are passionate about politics. But, why did you choose that election as your first, and for whom did you vote?
The very first election I voted in was in second grade when we had to vote for the class hall monitor for the month of October. I chose Amy Campbell, because I liked her red hair; it made her seem feisty and strong. Later that year she untied my wrap-around skirt and it fell down in front of the whole cafeteria, and I regretted my choice. Fuck you, Amy Campbell! As for political elections, I think the next one will matter most of all.


DaMasta said... I missed you, too! So glad you're back.
There’s no place like home. (repeat 3x)

She stole my päkapikk.

Päkapikk = dwarf, gnome

The Estonians are very fond of the päkapikk. It appears in stories and legends of all kinds, often popping out from under rocks or behind trees to cause mischief or to offer help. We are so fond of the päkapikk that we make little dolls of them and hang them on our Christmas trees and stand them up on our bookshelves as decoration.

My twin sister, Twirling Girl, stole my Viking päkapikk and put it on her shelf:

She insists it is hers, that she bought it in Estonia. I distinctly remember getting it as a gift from my godfather. Or maybe I bought it in Toronto. She's had it for a while, since it's been 5 years since we lived together; it must have ended up in her hands when we finally untangled the intricately woved threads of our shared 30-year placenta. Obviously, my memory is as foggy as hers, but I am 74% sure it is mine.

I'm letting her keep it, though; it looks so nice next to her other Estonian items, while it would look quite out of place packed into one of my moving crates. I am content to leave him in this new home.

For now.

I would just like her to acknowledge it is mine, and that I am gracious in letting her keep it. But she won't give me that satisfaction.

My Päkapikk's new neighborhood:

Another päkapikk; a girl.

They are life partners.

kärbseseen ornament.

Amanita muscaria or Fly Agaric mushroom;

a very serious mushroom.

It looks pretty enough to eat.

Don't do it.

An artistic bowl made of dolomite,

which abounds in northern and western Estonia.

A wooden trinket box bearing lithographs

of old Estonian postage stamps.

A small carved õllekann (beer mug)

and napkin holder made of kadakas (juniper wood).

Three wooden dolls dressed

in rahvariided (Estonian national costumes).

Siil (hedgehog) made of kadakas (juniper).

Põdrad (moose) made of pewter.

We like kadakas.

This is another box made of it.

Isn't it a lovely wood?

Thus ends of the tale of the stolen päkapikk. I hope that you have learned something about our cultural trinkets and about our language today; knowing that you have would lend me comfort at this lonely time.