Repost: 100 things. I love reposting this because of #36-37, because I married him.

1. My first language was Estonian. I still speak, read & write it. All the time!
2. I didn't really speak English until I went to kindergarten,
3. where I learned the word "soon" and thought it meant one o'clock.
4. I thought this until I was 11 years old.
5. Because it rhymes with "noon", you see?
6. My twin sister Twirling Girl has always, always been there.
7. I don’t know what I would do without her.
8. My baby sister Tuuna Taco is my other best friend.
9. My parents are some of the best people I know,
10. And I don't tell them enough, so I am telling them now.
11. Since they read my blog.
12. Which sort of censors me, but that is probably a good thing.
13. I can be gross at your blogs, right?
14. I worry that if I ever meet any of you, you will discover that I am not really as pretty as the persona I have created
15. although I have begun to think of myself as "Spinning Girl" and would probably answer to it if someone called to me.
16. Sometimes I get terribly lonely.
17. Often, I love being alone & doing what I want, when I want.
18. I need to tune my piano so that I can play it.
19. I need to clean my chimney so that I can make bigger fires without fearing that I am going to start a chimney fire.
20. Some pieces of music are so beautiful to me that I cannot contain the emotion I feel when I hear them, and I just cry.
21. I can’t stand most of the music I hear on the radio.
22. There are some exceptions.
23. I have an almost unholy obsession with Yellow Ledbetter and every time I hear those first few hesitant guitar notes, I smile with glee.
24. I had a small alcohol problem once.
25. By small, I mean that it had a short life. Maybe two years of really drinking in a way I felt was out of control.
26. Plus 15 years of wondering if maybe I drank a little too much?
27. I gave up the booze on August 6, 2003.
28. In March of 2004 I drank 3 bottles of wine by myself and scared myself so much that I never want to drink again.
29. In July of 2006 I accidentally took a giant swig of my cousin’s vodka tonic, but only because our cups were identical and it really was by accident.
30. If I drink on purpose, I am afraid I will not stop, ever.
31. I still get mad that something so fun could turn into something so bad, but I’m OK with it and I don’t miss it. It just pisses me off that alcohol was such a mean trickster bastard.
32. I become smitten very easily.
33. Recently I was smitten with someone in my grad class.
34. But he never called when he said he would, so I had my answer.
35. That’s too bad, because I still find him really attractive even though I don’t talk to him much.
36. I am also completely infatuated with Jamwall, even though we have never met, because he gets me and we feed off each other’s sick humor in a truly exhilarating way.
37. Right now, I am imagining Jamwall naked.
38. Are you?
39. Someday, I hope to spend a weekend with him, romping through a condiment village that we have built together.
40. Sometimes I am perfectly happy with my life the way it has gone thus far.
41. But I am always ready for the next big, good thing.
42. I would like to be a mom, though not necessarily give birth.
43. Maybe I just need a pony!
44. Or a dog, a non-pooping dog.
45. Having to pick up shit is the one major thing keeping me from getting a dog.
46. Sharing my living space with a box of urine and shit and giant hair balls is what is keeping me from getting a cat.
47. I had the most amazing cat once, and he will never be equaled.
48. I fear the spider, but only once it has reached a certain size.
49. Spiders of Acceptable Size (SAS) are allowed to live freely in my home.
50. Spiders of Unacceptable Size – SUS-- are thrown outside, not killed, unless they are huge or move very fast.
51. I would probably go crazy if I woke up and discovered an SUS clinging to the tip of my nose with all 8 of its legs.
52. I can honestly say that I love my job.
53. It is like a dream. A job cannot be this perfect, can it?!?!?
54. I sometimes fear becoming debilitated and unable to teach anymore; what would I do then?!?!?
55. I don’t spend much time fearing the future though.
56. Most of my fears are fleeting thoughts, lucky me.
57. Maybe I am stupidly optimistic. That is fine with me.
58. I take life’s little luxuries very seriously.
59. My bed.
60. My coffee.
61. That’s a short list, but those are the two biggies.
62. When I was a child, my favorite place to visit was my grandparents’ house in upstate New York.
63. Sometimes we had to weed the garden, and we had to finish before we could swim.
64. This taught me self-discipline and delayed gratification.
65. I used to pretend I was a poor little slave girl, weeding my little row of carrots in the blazing hot sun.
66. Nothing equals the bliss of a cold swim after you have been sweating in the blazing hot sun.
67. There was (is) a spring-fed pond on my grandparents’ back property.
68. It is stocked with fish that were caught elsewhere & put there by my family.
69. They have lived & multiplied there for 50 years.
70. I used to catch grasshoppers in the meadow and then feed them to the fish.
71. I used to be very good at catching grasshoppers; the most I ever caught was 72.
72. Grasshoppers!!!
73. I fear that one day a swarm of locusts will land on me, as payback.
74. This fear, however, is fleeting.
75. When my family sells my grandparents’ house, I don’t think I will be as sad as I was over the past 10 years, watching it decline from what it once was.
76. Nothing gold can stay.
77. I hope that my parents’ home becomes that way for their grandchildren ... a really special place where you can always go and be happy.
78. I believe it is really important to listen to children and not try to spank too much of their personalities out of them.
79. Like the boy who made the grappling hook; it made me really happy to see that.
80. I can think of 5 teachers off the top of my head who would have said, “put that stupid toy away.”
81. Of course, I teach science, and can justify “allowing” a homemade grappling hook in my classroom.
82. It scares me how little science some people know.
83. I’m a little bit obsessed with Carl Sagan, and rightly so.
84. Shadows of Forgotten Ancestors is one of my favorite books of all time.
85. I should read it again soon. I tend to reread books I love several times.
86. I have read Lord of the Rings at least 22 times from start to finish, plus countless times of reading just certain parts.
87. For me, rereading a good book is like visiting a place that I love.
88. When I want to escape for a while, I go to Middle Earth.
89. I’m OK with being a total geek.
90. I have amazing tits, so I can get away with it.
91. Are you imagining my tits right now?
92. Go ahead, then. I am OK with being objectified by you.
93. Shit, I forgot about my parents reading this.
94. Sorry mom and dad, sometimes I say dirty things to be funny.
95. Dirty and funny is one of my favorite combinations.
96. Wow, 100 is a lot.
97. I might have dyslexia because I often reverse “tomorrow” and “yesterday” in my speech, regardless of what language I am speaking. I think those two concepts got stored incorrectly in my Wernicke.
98. I am a huge procrastinator, and I did this instead of grading papers.
99. I always feel better after a good day of procrastinating.
100. I’ll feel even better later when I get that shit done. Thank you for reading!

MMM Eat [NOW UPDATED!!!]

New meats in PURPLE.


In reponse to Jiggs' post about meat, I will now itemize the meats I have eaten.

BIRDS:
Chicken
Turkey
Goose
Duck
Pheasant
Grouse
Cornish Game Hen
Ostrich
Emu

HOOFED MAMMALS (includes cloven hoof)
Beef
Veal
Antelope
Venison
Pork, suckling pig too
Wild Boar
Sheep
Lamb
Goat
Elk
Bison

NON-HOOFED MAMMALS
Rabbit

FISH
Salmon
Bass
Tuna
Perch
Red Snapper
Bluegill (sunfish)
Mackerel
Trout
Pollock
Catfish
Grouper
Carp
Pickerel
Mahi Mahi
Tilapia
Monkfish (and vowed never to eat again after I found out what it looked like)
Swordfish
Eel
Cod
Haddock
Walleye
Butterfish
& others, probably too numerous to mention ...

ARTHROPODS
Lobster
Crayfish
King Crab
Blue Crab
Shrimp

MOLLUSKS
Squid
Octopus
Clams
Oysters
Mussels
Scallops
Conch
Escargot, whatever type of snail that is

ECHINODERMS
Sea urchin

REPTILIANS
Alligator

MISCELLANY / UNIDENTIFIED
Tube Steak
Eggs
Caviar
Salmon Roe
Tube-shaped meat I found in Wonton Soup & wrote to unnamed Soup Behemoth about
Bologna
Liverwurst
Olive Loaf
Headcheese (sült)
Spam
Jerky
Blood Sausage
Scorpion (it was in a lollipop)
Meat Loaf

MEATS I WILL NEVER EAT
Insect
Spider
Monkey

Spider Monkey
Manatee
Horse
Zebra
Any African exotic meat, except maybe gazelle or antelope
Any mammalian or avian predator
Brain
Tripe
Tongue
Ovary
Rodents
Cat
Snake
Dog
Human (unless stranded)
Baby Seal
Whale

With any luck, this list will grow & grow as I discover and remember more meats. This may in fact be the very best post I have ever written.

[REPOST]: Interesting Words to Say (originally posted 7/9/05)

Falafel
Nostril
Sasparilla
Hosni Mubarak
Bowl
Yearn
Asjaajaja ("manager" in Estonian)
Rheostat
Formica
Myrrh
Dubai
Fisticuffs / Tomfoolery (tie)

Fairly Amused [repost]

Butchie's trip to the fair made me think about my happy day with the county's largest ball of yarn. Here's how it all went down ... ah, memories!:

I Am Fairly Amused [originally posted 9/17/06]

Sunday I went to the Countryishville Fair right in the heart of beautiful Countryishville, Connecticut. It was like most country fairs, with a 3-ride midway, livestock, games, fried food, and sad children. Here are some of the high points:

THE PIGEON TENT

Right next to the livestock, camel, and ostrich tent was the tent of pigeons of extraordinary plumage! It is fair to say that most of these pigeons were shitting at the time my friends and I went in the tent. I would also offer that they were pretty angry/mentally ill, judging from the erect state of some plumage, and the complete (torn out by one's own beak) absence of it in others. Above we see what I would call a typical pigeon.


... and here are the refreshments that were being offered:


Needless to say, I did not eat a cookie. Nor did I see anyone else eat a cookie, despite the come-hither appearance of the dining table.

Avian flu, anyone?

Next stop:

THE SCENIC VISTA

There wasn't any seating left because these two elderly folks had taken the primo seats with their umbrella chairs. We moved on, seeking vistas of our own.


I wish I had brought my shovel and wee pail, for next on the agenda was the ...

GIANT VAT OF CORN

I thought the kids were playing in a sandbox (or, as it is known in these parts, "giant neighborhood kitty litter"). Upon closer examination I discovered that the grains of sand they were so gleefully tossing at each other were actually kernels of dry corn! My bad.


Inside the reptile tent, our breath was taken away by this ...

DISPLAY OF RATTLERS

hyuck, hyuck. That's farm humor for ya.

Last but certainly not least, the award-winning ...

GIANT BALL OF TWINE

You could guess how much twine was actually in this ball, and win a prize. I gave up my spot in line to go to the Port-O-Let instead. What is it about people and giant balls of stuff? In 3rd grade, Ted Siversten had a booger-ball he used to show his friends on the bus (he carried it in his lunch box, in a baggie). And then Quilting Girl told me she kept (and added to) a giant jar of chewed chewing gum on her dresser when she was in middle school. I guess twine is a step up from bodily secretions and slimy offal, but still, what's with the giant balls? (That's your opening, honey.)

I sure learned a lot on my big day at the fair.

Join us again next week when we tell you about our tour of the local water treatment plant. Talk about slimy offal (I just wanted to use that phrase one more time)!

I felt like a repost, so ...

100 Things


1. My first language was Estonian. I still speak, read & write it. All the time!
2. I didn't really speak English until I went to kindergarten,
3. where I learned the word "soon" and thought it meant one o'clock.
4. I thought this until I was 11 years old.
5. Because it rhymes with "soon", you see?
6. My twin sister Twirling Girl has always, always been there.
7. I don’t know what I would do without her.
8. My baby sister Tuuna Taco is my other best friend.
9. My parents are some of the best people I know,
10. And I don't tell them enough, so I am telling them now.
11. Since they read my blog.
12. Which sort of censors me, but that is probably a good thing.
13. I can be gross at your blogs, right?
14. I worry that if I ever meet any of you, you will discover that I am not really as pretty as the persona I have created
15. although I have begun to think of myself as "Spinning Girl" and would probably answer to it if someone called to me.
16. Sometimes I get terribly lonely.
17. Often, I love being alone & doing what I want, when I want.
18. I need to tune my piano so that I can play it.
19. I need to clean my chimney so that I can make bigger fires without fearing that I am going to start a chimney fire.
20. Some pieces of music are so beautiful to me that I cannot contain the emotion I feel when I hear them, and I just cry.
21. I can’t stand most of the music I hear on the radio.
22. There are some exceptions.
23. I have an almost unholy obsession with Yellow Ledbetter and every time I hear those first few hesitant guitar notes, I smile with glee.
24. I had a small alcohol problem once.
25. By small, I mean that it had a short life. Maybe two years of really drinking in a way I felt was out of control.
26. Plus 15 years of wondering if maybe I drank a little too much?
27. I gave up the booze on August 6, 2003.
28. In March of 2004 I drank 3 bottles of wine by myself and scared myself so much that I never want to drink again.
29. In July of 2006 I accidentally took a giant swig of my cousin’s vodka tonic, but only because our cups were identical and it really was by accident.
30. If I drink on purpose, I am afraid I will not stop, ever.
31. I still get mad that something so fun could turn into something so bad, but I’m OK with it and I don’t miss it. It just pisses me off that alcohol was such a mean trickster bastard.
32. I become smitten very easily.
33. Recently I was smitten with someone in my grad class.
34. But he never called when he said he would, so I had my answer.
35. That’s too bad, because I still find him really attractive even though I don’t talk to him much.
36. I am also completely infatuated with Jamwall, even though we have never met, because he gets me and we feed off each other’s sick humor in a truly exhilarating way.
37. Right now, I am imagining Jamwall naked.
38. Are you?
39. Someday, I hope to spend a weekend with him, romping through a condiment village that we have built together.
40. Sometimes I am perfectly happy with my life the way it has gone thus far.
41. But I am always ready for the next big, good thing.
42. I would like to be a mom, though not necessarily give birth.
43. Maybe I just need a pony!
44. Or a dog, a non-pooping dog.
45. Having to pick up shit is the one major thing keeping me from getting a dog.
46. Sharing my living space with a box of urine and shit and giant hair balls is what is keeping me from getting a cat.
47. I had the most amazing cat once, and he will never be equaled.
48. I fear the spider, but only once it has reached a certain size.
49. Spiders of Acceptable Size (SAS) are allowed to live freely in my home.
50. Spiders of Unacceptable Size – SUS-- are thrown outside, not killed, unless they are huge or move very fast.
51. I would probably go crazy if I woke up and discovered an SUS clinging to the tip of my nose with all 8 of its legs.
52. I can honestly say that I love my job.
53. It is like a dream. A job cannot be this perfect, can it?!?!?
54. I sometimes fear becoming debilitated and unable to teach anymore; what would I do then?!?!?
55. I don’t spend much time fearing the future though.
56. Most of my fears are fleeting thoughts, lucky me.
57. Maybe I am stupidly optimistic. That is fine with me.
58. I take life’s little luxuries very seriously.
59. My bed.
60. My coffee.
61. That’s a short list, but those are the two biggies.
62. When I was a child, my favorite place to visit was my grandparents’ house in upstate New York.
63. Sometimes we had to weed the garden, and we had to finish before we could swim.
64. This taught me self-discipline and delayed gratification.
65. I used to pretend I was a poor little slave girl, weeding my little row of carrots in the blazing hot sun.
66. Nothing equals the bliss of a cold swim after you have been sweating in the blazing hot sun.
67. There was (is) a spring-fed pond on my grandparents’ back property.
68. It is stocked with fish that were caught elsewhere & put there by my family.
69. They have lived & multiplied there for 50 years.
70. I used to catch grasshoppers in the meadow and then feed them to the fish.
71. I used to be very good at catching grasshoppers; the most I ever caught was 72.
72. Grasshoppers!!!
73. I fear that one day a swarm of locusts will land on me, as payback.
74. This fear, however, is fleeting.
75. When my family sells my grandparents’ house, I don’t think I will be as sad as I was over the past 10 years, watching it decline from what it once was.
76. Nothing gold can stay.
77. I hope that my parents’ home becomes that way for their grandchildren ... a really special place where you can always go and be happy.
78. I believe it is really important to listen to children and not try to spank too much of their personalities out of them.
79. Like the boy who made the grappling hook; it made me really happy to see that.
80. I can think of 5 teachers off the top of my head who would have said, “put that stupid toy away.”
81. Of course, I teach science, and can justify “allowing” a homemade grappling hook in my classroom.
82. It scares me how little science some people know.
83. I’m a little bit obsessed with Carl Sagan, and rightly so.
84. Shadows of Forgotten Ancestors is one of my favorite books of all time.
85. I should read it again soon. I tend to reread books I love several times.
86. I have read Lord of the Rings at least 22 times from start to finish, plus countless times of reading just certain parts.
87. For me, rereading a good book is like visiting a place that I love.
88. When I want to escape for a while, I go to Middle Earth.
89. I’m OK with being a total geek.
90. I have amazing tits, so I can get away with it.
91. Are you imagining my tits right now?
92. Go ahead, then. I am OK with being objectified by you.
93. Shit, I forgot about my parents reading this.
94. Sorry mom and dad, sometimes I say dirty things to be funny.
95. Dirty and funny is one of my favorite combinations.
96. Wow, 100 is a lot.
97. I might have dyslexia because I often reverse “tomorrow” and “yesterday” in my speech, regardless of what language I am speaking. I think those two concepts got stored incorrectly in my Wernicke.
98. I am a huge procrastinator, and I did this instead of grading papers.
99. I always feel better after a good day of procrastinating.
100. I’ll feel even better later when I get that shit done. Thank you for reading!

Spinning Girl Deep Cuts: Stupid x3

Originally posted 7/20/05

Top 3 Stupidest Things I Have Done:
A Sharing Session

1979: My sister & I decided to ride bikes side by side, with me holding her handlebars and her holding mine. The ride lasted 0.13 seconds and we traveled approximately 9.75 inches before falling over. She jumped off, I fell -- on her bike -- and the axle poked a 1” deep hole in my thigh.
High point: The exhilaration of considering a future circus career.
Low point: The realization that this dream, too, must die.

1988: Traveling halfway across Long Island Sound in a 12’ rowboat. We took 3 outboard motors that my boyfriend had rebuilt & wanted to try out. No life vests. Only other boats out there were the ferry and a huge barge.
High Point: Swimming off the middlegrounds lighthouse.
Low point: What I did for Love.

2000: Jumping off a cliff near the Via dell’ Amore in Manarola, Italy and breaking my tailbone. A 35’ jump and I didn’t clench properly. Water shot up my butt and snapped my tailbone. It hurt for a year.
High point: The view on the way down was gorgeous.
Low point: The instant I hit the water and made that elephant-seal-like groan that you only make when you majorly hurt your ass (you’ve made it too, when you fell off your bike seat onto the bar) .

Spinning Girl Deep Cuts: Lies in Personal Ads (not that I would know)

"Easygoing"
[I'm just like everyone else, with neurotic and unpredictable hang-ups]

"Fun-loving"
[I'm just like everyone else]

"No baggage"
[I've had at least 4-5 good breakups, one of which involved crying for 5 hours]

"Work-hard, play-hard"
[I am lazier than shit]

"Outgoing"
[it takes a real effort to get out of the house some days]

"Sincere"
[I lie most of the time]

"Down-to-Earth"
[I am so bored with myself]

"42, but look 28"
[I look 42]

"I've never done this before, but it's worth a try! Here goes!"
[I've been cruising the 'net for love for 2.5 years, just not on this site.
But I want you to think I'm not a loser, so here goes!]

"Hoping there are a few nice guys / gals still left out there"
[I am still a raw, open wound and probably wouldn't be good for anyone right now, but I'm just so darn lonesome]

"Stable"
[Given to bouts of (a) alcoholism (b) passive aggression (c) verbal abuse (d) neurotic cleanliness (e) insert own dysfunction here: --- ]

"Close to my family"
[live with parents] or [15 years old]