September 17, 2006

I am fairly amused.

Sunday I went to the Countryishville Fair right in the heart of beautiful Countryishville, Connecticut. It was like most country fairs, with a 3-ride midway, livestock, games, fried food, and sad children. Here are some of the high points:


THE PIGEON TENT

Right next to the livestock, camel, and ostrich tent was the tent of pigeons of extraordinary plumage! It is fair to say that most of these pigeons were shitting at the time my friends and I went in the tent. I would also offer that they were pretty angry/mentally ill, judging from the erect state of some plumage, and the complete (torn out by one's own beak) absence of it in others. Above we see what I would call a typical pigeon.


... and here are the refreshments that were being offered:


Needless to say, I did not eat a cookie. Nor did I see anyone else eat a cookie, despite the come-hither appearance of the dining table.

Avian flu, anyone?


Next stop:


THE SCENIC VISTA

There wasn't any seating left because these two elderly folks had taken the primo seats with their umbrella chairs. We moved on, seeking vistas of our own.


I wish I had brought my shovel and wee pail, for next on the agenda was the ...


GIANT VAT OF CORN

I thought the kids were playing in a sandbox (or, as it is known in these parts, "giant neighborhood kitty litter"). Upon closer examination I discovered that the grains of sand they were so gleefully tossing at each other were actually kernels of dry corn! My bad.


Inside the reptile tent, our breath was taken away by this ...


DISPLAY OF RATTLERS


hyuck, hyuck. That's farm humor for ya.

Last but certainly not least, the award-winning ...


GIANT BALL OF TWINE

You could guess how much twine was actually in this ball, and win a prize. I gave up my spot in line to go to the Port-O-Let instead. What is it about people and giant balls of stuff? In 3rd grade, Ted Siversten had a booger-ball he used to show his friends on the bus (he carried it in his lunch box, in a baggie). And then Quilting Girl told me she kept (and added to) a giant jar of chewed chewing gum on her dresser when she was in middle school. I guess twine is a step up from bodily secretions and slimy offal, but still, what's with the giant balls? (That's your opening, honey.)

I sure learned a lot on my big day at the fair.

Join us again next week when we tell you about our tour of the local water treatment plant. Talk about slimy offal (I just wanted to use that phrase one more time)!

14 comments:

jamwall said...

giant ball of twine....HA!

i'm from the land of the true giant ball of twine, but its too large to stick in an envelope and send it to you...

yournamehere said...

I love you for using "slimy offal" twice.

Bill said...

And here I thought my day was interesting. "What could be better than sitting in a bar waiting for cleaners to get out of your home?" Well, those pigeons have certainly learned me.

btw ... I find the sandbox filled with corn oddly compelling. I'll be seeking therapy later in the week.

jiggs said...

opening? for what? what do balls have to do with me? Oh... I get it! You mean like nutbags.

t2ed said...

I wish our sad lil fair had shitting pigeons. We just get shitting seagulls.

That is a good looking chainlink though.

madge said...

You are so silly.

Kat said...

Why are people breeding a bird that is the bane of every city roof top? Oh...right. The same people who offer coupe cookies.

Monkey said...

That pigeon had won a blue ribbon! What for I ask? I writhe in the agony of my own curiousity.

The scenic vista was lovely indeed. It brought tears to my eyes. Indeed.

Freewheel said...

How about a dunking booth featuring Lieberman? Did they offer that?

I look forward to hearing about your tour of the wastewater treatment plant.

miss kendra said...

birds are gross.

Brookelina said...

Now we need a big giant kitten to play with the big giant ball of twine.

sans said...

I think I went to that same fair in Wanaque once. Except ours had roosters.

LBseahag said...

So do your knees hurt?

From kneeling on the corn kernals...

those cookies looked delish...i hope you will mail me one...

Anonymous said...

We have fairs here in Britian too, although ours don't always have corn pits or giant balls of twine.
Or angry pigeons.
You were wize to avoid thoses cookies too i think, angry,mad,loose bowelled pigeons and food are not a good combination......