Showing posts with label lies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lies. Show all posts

October 16, 2007

Nostalgika XVII: Bookmark Fame

Once long ago, I told you about the fame I encountered when my bookmark was chosen out of 4, or possibly 5 entries in a contest at my elementary school. Oh, the pride and shame I felt when mine was chosen! For I alone knew that I had traced the picture, and that the win belonged not to me, but to famed Pooh artist Ernest H. Shepard, and to the magic of mimeograph.

Here is a portion of the story, in which my win and my love for Martin S-C mingle in newsprint:

This was a great day for me. In grade 4, I was in the same class as Martin again (a 5th grader! With upper-lip fuzz!). We won (!!) a bookmark-making contest and were featured in the newspaper. Even though I traced my picture of Winnie the Pooh, my bookmark got the blue ribbon (that's me on the left; check the hair. circa 1977). Martin got 2nd place. See us all showing each other our bookmarks with pride! I am posing for the camera, but my heart is pounding as this photo is being taken, and my eyes are full of his ivory, translucent skin and his pursed little lips ... his well-appointed trousers and his tidily turned collar. In my mind, the two of us are standing together on the Olympic podium, our arms around each other as we listen to the National Anthem. I am so mad that Jenny and Aleta, with their sub-par bookmarks, separate us.

I struck a goldmine on the day that my mom brought me my childhood scrapbook, which has coughed up such gems as my spelling bee third place cryfest. What did I find nestled in its crusty bosom, but the original bookmark!


One is me. Savor that well-turned phrase! Reach out and caress the pink paper! Smell the fresh mimeo ink! One of the benefits of winning this contest was that the winning bookmark was copied via blue-tinted mimeograph and handed out in the school library to everyone who checked out a book. I love to think that my little bookmark was carried by readers young and old, inspiring them to delve into the STOPIES of A.A Milne. Despite the fact that I traced the image, my superior artsmanship is evident. I imagine that Martin's 2nd-place artwork was nearly as moving, nearly as inspired. Let all others flock to our banner and only wish they could touch the lives that we were able to touch. Dream on, Jenny and Aleta!

August 03, 2007

Spinning Girl Deep Cuts: Lies in Personal Ads (not that I would know)

"Easygoing"
[I'm just like everyone else, with neurotic and unpredictable hang-ups]

"Fun-loving"
[I'm just like everyone else]

"No baggage"
[I've had at least 4-5 good breakups, one of which involved crying for 5 hours]

"Work-hard, play-hard"
[I am lazier than shit]

"Outgoing"
[it takes a real effort to get out of the house some days]

"Sincere"
[I lie most of the time]

"Down-to-Earth"
[I am so bored with myself]

"42, but look 28"
[I look 42]

"I've never done this before, but it's worth a try! Here goes!"
[I've been cruising the 'net for love for 2.5 years, just not on this site.
But I want you to think I'm not a loser, so here goes!]

"Hoping there are a few nice guys / gals still left out there"
[I am still a raw, open wound and probably wouldn't be good for anyone right now, but I'm just so darn lonesome]

"Stable"
[Given to bouts of (a) alcoholism (b) passive aggression (c) verbal abuse (d) neurotic cleanliness (e) insert own dysfunction here: --- ]

"Close to my family"
[live with parents] or [15 years old]