This just makes me giggle.

Spinning Girl Deep Cuts: Lies in Personal Ads (not that I would know)

"Easygoing"
[I'm just like everyone else, with neurotic and unpredictable hang-ups]

"Fun-loving"
[I'm just like everyone else]

"No baggage"
[I've had at least 4-5 good breakups, one of which involved crying for 5 hours]

"Work-hard, play-hard"
[I am lazier than shit]

"Outgoing"
[it takes a real effort to get out of the house some days]

"Sincere"
[I lie most of the time]

"Down-to-Earth"
[I am so bored with myself]

"42, but look 28"
[I look 42]

"I've never done this before, but it's worth a try! Here goes!"
[I've been cruising the 'net for love for 2.5 years, just not on this site.
But I want you to think I'm not a loser, so here goes!]

"Hoping there are a few nice guys / gals still left out there"
[I am still a raw, open wound and probably wouldn't be good for anyone right now, but I'm just so darn lonesome]

"Stable"
[Given to bouts of (a) alcoholism (b) passive aggression (c) verbal abuse (d) neurotic cleanliness (e) insert own dysfunction here: --- ]

"Close to my family"
[live with parents] or [15 years old]