November 21, 2005

Tubelicious

Dear unnamed soup manufacturer:
Today I ate a can of your chicken wonton soup. In it, I was dismayed to discover a piece of meat in the shape of a tube. To my knowledge, none of the desirable parts of a chicken are tube-shaped. Most tube-shaped organs transport gaseous or liquid substances from the environment into the chicken; from the chicken into the environment; or from one place to another intra-chickenally. As a customer, I have always been happiest with the soups that contain parts of the chicken that I can recognize, such as breast meat, thighs, and an occasional beak. I have enclosed the meat tube in this letter (see ziploc bag) for your scrutiny.
Sincerely,
Spinning Girl (1999)
(I received a case of chicken won ton soup for this letter, which I gave to the local soup kitchen. It's OK if the needy eat tube meat.)

12 comments:

Mike said...

OMG, too funny! Great site.. Thanks

babyjewels said...

I just got screwed over at Big Y. Will you write a letter for me?

jamwall said...

i'm collecting meat tubeage, i'm gonna make a really long "meat tube" bonded together with duct tape. i'm hoping the guinness people will take notice.....not the world record people, but the beer people...

JAX said...

OHhhh, please tell me that wasn't based on an actual tubular incident. I think I'm gonna be sick now.

LBseahag said...

Tube meat? Give me tube steak instead...


I once had that same tube in my Dinty Moore Chili...it was gnarly...

Erin O'Brien said...

What you encountered is what I like to call a "chewie"

A chewie is any food stuff that defies mastication. It might be a bit of connective tissue or cartiledge and is usually associated with meat stuffs.

Bon appetit.

JAX said...

Ok, maybe because this was one of the last things I read before bed, but I had a dream that I was eating soup and came across some tube meat. It turned out to be a dried noodle. So now I feel better.

DaMasta said...

Maybe it was a pinky.

Cupcake said...

Damn. Seahag stole my line. Although... if I found tubesteak in my soup I'd be a bit worried.

Kay said...

Wow, that's kinda really alot gross. That's the kind of stuff that puts you off soup forever.

miss kendra said...

tubes are never good.

never.

Violet said...

maybe it was a piece of intestine.