July 05, 2006

The Poison Quill: Ewww. Gravy. (a.k.a. This is the Type of Stuff I Do in the Summer)

19 Refrigerator Box
Quaintville, CT 01234
July 5, 2006

Manager, Devoidov Manors
123 Main St
Shoretown, CT 87654

Dear Manager,

I was recently at an event (a retirement party) at Devoidov Manors. The food was good and the atmosphere generally comfortable; however, I feel it is my duty to inform you of an unpleasant experience that evening.

Your wait-staff is in the habit of clearing plates in such a manner that they set up a clearing station (a tray on a stand) immediately next to the guests (who are trying to listen to the retirement speeches and whatnot); they then proceed to bring plates to this station and scrape their contents onto one plate so that they can make a gigantic stack of empty plates to carry to the kitchen.

It is the most unappetizing thing I have ever witnessed at a banquet hall.

Having just finished my meal, I was forced to watch about 40 plates being scraped in this manner, the gnawed/hacked prime rib bones and leftover gravy of other people's plates dripping and falling from a plate held sideways about 5 feet away from my face.

After bringing the loaded tray to the kitchen, the staff returned to continue in this way until all of the tables were cleared, each time setting up their stations at various points among the seated guests.

I know this was not an isolated incident, as I witnessed the exact same practice a year ago at a party, which I had forgotten about until I was reminded; furthermore, this behavior was discussed by numerous guests at my table and nearby tables, all of whom were disgusted. It definitely reflected on our opinion of your establishment.

I feel I speak for many when I say that I would much prefer the hustle & bustle of repeated trips to the kitchen over the sight of leftover vegetables, gravy, and meat bones dripping off of a plate. Little details like this make the difference between a memorable, classy evening and an unpleasant one.

Thank you for your time.

Spinning Girl

We'll see if I get a reply; I often don't. See more of my Poison Quillwork here:

S.H.A.T. (angry teacher-man)
R.R. Moose (clothing & outdoor gear giant)
remarkable wireless (cell phone behemoth)
Rubberbands, Inc. (office supply store)


myboyfriendiscrazy said...

Even if you don't get a reply, they'll probably care and maybe someone will get fired (one can only hope)

jamwall said...

you forgot about the waiter who dropped his pants and started masturbating in front of the female guests.

User said...

I'm a mad poison pen person. and i try so hard not to be, things boil over, and i got to get it out.
Last year i wrote to the local paper about how police paddywagons have no seatbelts, and why, we are humans, and innocent till proven. I wrote about contraception. to many girls not on the pill. go for the morning after pill. I may have been half cocked there. Also about Salvo's advocating having 3 kids when many have no money. I wrote to the Immam in Sydney to use the power of the pen as his jihad. I respect working class, and anyone who does work believe me. I think the pen is mighty in fighting for womens issues, human rights. From Venimous snake tongue, looking out for newsworthy snippets.

FRITZ said...

my god i love your letters.
have you tackled the white house yet?

Dear Mr. President:

You are not doing a good job. I am going to stop buying from this particular company. I would like a refund or atleast a merchandise credit for the income taxes i've paid in the past six years. thank you.

aughra said...

You rule. I am also a big fan of 'strongly worded letters'. I also call the numbers on the side of trucks when they cut me off on the expressway.

jamwall said...

i am tickling you with my quill.

Madge said...

You have a way with the quill. I loved rereading your other letters.

The whole bizness of plate scraping sounds disgusting. If you need witnesses, I am so in your corner.

Sister D.FlowerArranged said...

I don't like the morning after pill. I sometimes don't like the morning after either, who was that? where did i pick him up from?
I am keen to get my tubes tied, that way it doesn't matter who it is does it? Some hookers have ended up dead in my street, they have no morning after poor things, do they?

jiggs said...

work it girlfriend!

hyena9 said...

Good gravy, girl! ;>

I am in love with your poison quill!!! I've always allowed the BC (big corporations) to get away with such things due to being too busy/lazy. No more, I say!
I pledge on Spinning Girl's poison quill to no longer allow the BC to get away with such b.s.! I will complain loudly with ink and paper for now until satisfaction is given.

Long live the Poison Quill!

tube meat *snicker*