The other day I got an email at work from Mr. Sporadically Happy / Angry Teacher (SHAT), whom I had inconvenienced by mistakenly putting a folder back in the wrong place. Earlier, he had given me a banana that I ate with my cereal, which he now used as leverage in his email reaming. Here's how it all went down:
To: SG
From: SHAT
Re: Folder!!!!!
You put the team folder back in the wrong file, which caused me 15 minutes of frustration, inconvenience, and aggravation. Please be courteous enough to return things to their original location when you are finished with them.
I want that banana back.
My Reply:
To:SHAT
From: SG
Re: RE: Folder!!!!!
Hi, sorry I inconvenienced you, I must have gotten distracted.
About the banana, I should start seeing it re-emerge in a few hours. It's going to look pretty different from how it looked when you gave it to me. Do you still want it? I'll put it in a bag for you and leave it in your mailbox.
To: SG
From: SHAT
Re: Folder!!!!!
You put the team folder back in the wrong file, which caused me 15 minutes of frustration, inconvenience, and aggravation. Please be courteous enough to return things to their original location when you are finished with them.
I want that banana back.
My Reply:
To:SHAT
From: SG
Re: RE: Folder!!!!!
Hi, sorry I inconvenienced you, I must have gotten distracted.
About the banana, I should start seeing it re-emerge in a few hours. It's going to look pretty different from how it looked when you gave it to me. Do you still want it? I'll put it in a bag for you and leave it in your mailbox.
Banana Buddha says ...Don't mess with Spinning Girl!!!!
16 comments:
did you say.....banana?
brilliant response.
awesome response and great scatalogical theme going on! (have no mercy for him, even if his banana plea is a disguised cry-for-potassium.)
hopefully he had the sense to let it go after that!
"SHAT" - How perfect.
The proper way to return a banana is to light the bag (with the digested banana contents in it) on fire before leaving it. That way the receiver is sure to find it. It works like banana smoke signals.
Seriously, is this a grown chap emailing such bollocks? Sounds like something one would say in kindergarten. And you work with this bloke every day. My hat's off to you Spinning Girl.
"I want that banana back."
How utterly childish. Your response was 100% perfect. And funny.
Julia said "Indian Giver"
She wins the "UNPOLITICALLY CORRECT COMMENT OF THE DAY!"
Huzzah, huzzah!
In other news: bananas off the south coast of Venezuela have been spotted, roaming in large groups, rather aimlessly and with a general air of panic, toward the ocean. Senor Ban St. Anna states, "We have heard what happens to us when we reach Connecticut. Our counterparts are given, eaten, and defecated into ziplock bags. This is all very scary. We're going to try our luck at the bottom of the sea."
No word yet on the surviving bananas.
And even more meanwhile: The Chiquita Banana Lady is recovering from a really bad hangover from all those damn Margaritas she had last night.
That is AWESOME!
I agree with madmeer, you've got to light the banana bag, in the mailbox of course. Mr SHAT will totally understand.
Why is there a handicapped button next to the word ver? Is that for people like me? After like 3 trys will it just do it for you?
Again, you're my hero.
Do you do any pro bono work?
If only Monkey were around.
What a horse's bum! Don't you just HATE those types that have time to send the stupid e-mail about wasting their time?!
Kudos to Fritz for catching the majorly :-) politally incorrect remark! I mean, geez, don't you know that is "Native American giver"!!! ;-)
See, now I'm thinking of Monkey. That makes me sad. Your reply made me sad too - sad that I can't come up with snappy comebacks like that.
SHAT gave you a banana, which you disgested. After it comes to 'fruition' in the toilet, you would have 'shat' it out. Full circle.
As went the banana.
I'm confused.
If you eat a banana and it comes out looking like a banana, you have a health issue.
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