October 08, 2005

Poison Quill II: Spinning Girl is Hands-Free!

January 20, 2005
Remarkable Wireless Something Highlands
Glenridge Something
Atlanta, GA 30342

Dear Compassionate Representative of Remarkable Wireless,

I am writing to express my displeasure regarding a recent attempt to exchange a faulty piece of equipment to your stores. While I understand that you have a 7-day return policy, there was no explaining my situation to the staff of the two stores I visited. I am writing to get some satisfaction in this seemingly small issue, which to me represents a large matter of principle.

I purchased a hands-free headset for my new LG phone at your Malltown, CT branch in December, 2004. It cost about $25. I do not usually visit Malltown, but I happened to be in the area and saw the store.

Upon trying the headset, I discovered that it did not work. That is, I could not hear anything through the earpiece. I took the headset to a store that is closer to me, in Churchville, CT. There I was told that I could only exchange my merchandise at the specific store where I purchased it. I find that amusing, since you are a national company, and I don’t really understand how it would have been “stealing from their inventory” (as it was explained to me), but I was willing to do so.

Meanwhile, we had the holidays, and I also had a major injury that kept me from making this exchange during December. I’m not going for the pity vote; it is just part of the circumstances that kept me from making this exchange in your proscribed 7-day period. Not to mention that I don’t live anywhere near Malltown, so I had to make an extra trip!

Finally, this past Monday, I made the 1-hour trip to Malltown to make the exchange, and was informed by the salesgirl that it was too late, and that I need the original packaging of the headset to boot. I had the receipt in my hand and the headset with its little sticker still on it. I simply could not argue with this unbendable 7-day “blanket policy” of yours, and no one would hear my story. All I want is a headset that works!!!

So here I sit, in possession of a $25 piece of wire that is useless to me. Can you please, please give me some kind of assistance here? I realize that you are a gigantic multibillion dollar company, and my pathetic little pocket change may not mean very much to you, but it’s the little people like me buying your little pieces of wire and metal that made this company what it is. It’s my hope that your customer service is as good as the rest of your services. If I could do this exchange by mail, or get some sort of voucher, or even have my credit card credited for the purchase at this point, I would be 100% satisfied and return to my previous state of being “remarkably happy”.

With thanks in advance,

Spinning Girl
  • I did receive satisfaction for this letter; a $25 credit plus a little extra for my aggravation. I'm still not pimping this company though, because their service has huge gaps and their billing is nonsensical.
  • Do you like how I invoked the "little people like me" cry? It worked, I think.


Marisa said...

I think this is *awesome*!

Henri Banks said...


Cupcake said...

Excellent letter! I had a little tear at the end there. ~sniff~ :)

If I was their CS Department I would have given you a new headset AND the $25. You rock.

I'm convinced you never sleep, though. Where do you find the time for all this brilliance?

Bobby said...

I am horrible with the rebate thing, but can raise some heck when it comes to the actual stores.

Good for you.

LBseahag said...

I love this line best...

Upon trying the headset, I discovered that it did not work. That is, I could not hear anything through the earpiece.

You answered her question before she asked it....way to be proactive!

babyjewels said...

Excellent. Can you hear me now?

(I'm saving my tag for Monday, but you did inspire me in the white trash dept. You know that is a compliment, right?)

mr_g said...

I'm going out on a limb here...Verizon?

B.O.B.I. said...

::thunderous applause::

Yeah! You go! High Five!

Monkey said...

For pure chewing satisfaction there is nothing better than a good bitch letter. The one that puzzled me the most was after I was in a near plane crash, I wrote to the airline and... received a free ticket.

Hello? Like I wanted to fly that airline ever again.

Beautiful letters Spinning Girl.

Harry Yak said...

i like to wear socks. they keep my feet warm. unless they get wet. if they get wet i put on new socks.

FRITZ said...

I must let you know: I am now going to post the letters I've written to the Governer of Georgia, the Atlanta Urinal and Constipation, and seperate Senators. About one of my myriad issues.

I'm borrowing inspiration from you.