Spinning Girl and Friends in the Kitchen: I Make Such a Better Caesar Salad than Jamwall!

Boy, do I love food. And more than food, I love a competition. Especially when I am competing against someone who is so confident that he is going to win that he doesn't even try. I speak, of course, of my secret lover and arch-nemesis, Jamwall. You may recall that in an earlier post I mentioned that we will be competing in a Caesar Salad Recipe contest. He immediately took the crouton and ran with it, trying to show me up with his crazy bottled dressing antics over at Not really a food blog, is it now?.com. Well, I am here today to prove to Jamwall that not only am I willing to dress up like a cowgirl and stand in those funny positions no matter how bad he makes me feel about myself, but I am also a fabulous cook!

Without further ado, my recipe:

The Perfect Caesar Salad

Jamwall's Submission

Step 1. Open Jamwall's salad mailing and take one look at the lettuce; decide not to eat it.
Step 2. rate Jamwall's salad anyhow:

• Texture: 1
• Color: 2
• Creaminess: 6
• Fish Smell: 10+
• Egg Smell: 11
• Crispiness: 0
• Croûton taste: 0 (no croûton provided)

Average Score out of 10: 4.29

Step 3: Scout out the Romaine Lettuce at the market.

Step 4. Decide that a Caesar Salad sounds like a lot of work, and head for the salad bar.

Step 5. Hmmm, no Caesar in this salad bar.

Step 6. I guess I'll just put this container back, then.

Step 7. You know what's always yummy at this market though? The soup!!!


Step 8. Mmmm, this one looks delicious.

Step 9. Buy the soup and bring it home.

Step 10. Pour the creamy soup into a pot and bring to a simmer.

Step 11. Yum, will you look at that?!?!?



Step 12. Sample for quality.

Step 13. Hell yeah, I am so gonna win this contest now!

Step 14. Damn, am I a good cook!

Step 15. I think Jamwall will really like this when he tries it.

Step 16. Hmmm, that looks a little moist.

Step 17. I guess it'll be fine.

Step 18. Seal the envelope!

Step 19. Address the envelope to Jamwall and pop it into the mail!

Step 20. And that's how you make a perfect Caesar Salad!!!

If you would like to read any more of my culinary or competitive adventures, please visit:

Making Cocoa with Monkey

Clash of Titans (click the tag below if you really want to read the whole thing; it's not for the faint of heart)

My Tag is Showing

I was tagged by TinaPoPo in … I think July … to do this fun thing! Since I blew my whole wad on the Titans post, I’ll fall back on something like this to entertain myself. Even so, I just can’t compartmentalize myself & I’ll have to put my own Spinn on it.


10 Years Ago: I was teaching high school and sharing a room with a woman who was in charge of the Senior Homecoming Float. Hence I thought nothing of it when I saw a scrap of fabric lying in the middle of the floor.

After the students had gone, I picked it up and discovered,

Holy Schnike, this is underwear.

Holy Schnike, this is my underwear.

I had a pair of panties stuck inside my pants leg from a previous wearing, that had worked their way out onto the floor of my classroom of sophomores. To this day I wonder at what point they were hanging, hermit-crab-like, half in/half out of my pants leg.

5 Years Ago: I jumped off of this cliff and broke my ass. I had done several jumps/dives already from lower heights. On what turned out to be the last jump, I had climbed up about 35-40 feet, and I was scared, but a group of young Italian onlookers on the bridge high above started counting out loud. Not to back down from their Une… Due… Tre!, I took a deep breath and leapt from the cliff. It was the last time I felt good for an entire year … a year spent sitting on a rubber donut and wondering just how invasive that “realignment” procedure really might be?

1 Year Ago: I threw away something I shouldn’t have, that I needed later.

Yesterday: I learned that the gloriously verdant foliage around my wounded mailbox

… is poison ivy.

5 Snacks I Enjoy:

5 Songs I Belt Out Shamelessly in the Car:

--Hook (Blues Traveler)
--Breathe (Anna Nalick)
--Secret World (Peter Gabriel)
--Sloop John B. (Beach Boys)
--You Can Call Me Al (Paul Simon)

5 Things I Would Do With $100 Million:
Give a cold 20 to each member of my family, including me.

5 Places It Would Be Fun To Run Away To:

5 Things I’d Probably Never Wear:
--A tube top (not to church, at least)
--My pain and shame on the outside for the world to see! Waahhhhh!!

--Sandals with just one big toe loop.
--A tongue, belly button, eyebrow, lip, or hoo-hoo ring
--Tweed or herringbone anything

5 Favorite TV Shows:
--Lord of the Rings
--Discover Magazine
--Peterson’s Field Guide to Birds of Prey
--The Dark Tower

Whazzat?
... Oh, I thought you said books.

--Well, in that case … Brat Camp!

Biggest Joys:

--My comfy bed
--The distant, lonesome cry of a hawk on the wing
--My job
--My family
--The first day of summer

--Starring as one of Three Little Maids from School in The Mikado

--Eating apple pie

... Just 5? What a gip.

5 Favorite Toys:
--iPod!
--Car!
--Kayak! (12.5-ft Necky Santa Cruz named “Unruly”)(since you asked)

--Blogland!
--Coffee grinder!

5 People I’ve Tagged:

--Silly rabbit, them's my tricks, and mine alone!