a.k.a. My Screaming Meltdown at CVS, followed by Spiritual Crisis, Redemption, and Ultimately, Salvation for Myself and All of Mankind
I ran out of all the medicine cabinet essentials this week (cold medicine, Imodium, tampons ... it was a really great week, but that tale is for another day, or never.), so I went to CVS this morning to replenish. Lo and holy fuck, but what am I facing … an Easter display. An EASTER DISPLAY ON JANUARY 6th. Already I am having the most surreal and somewhat fear-filled day on this 72-degree spring January day, and now I am looking at Marshmallow Peeps and Cadbury Fucking Cream Eggs.
So I turn back to my line and try not to let this depress me, because as you know from my last shopping trip I tend to get a little bit suicidal when I do errands. Then I see all the people standing in line, nobody talking to each other, two screaming into their cell phones, and one rocking out in silence, plugged into his mp3 world.
I pay, get in the car, drive home to spend my own afternoon in silence and then suddenly, like a bolt form the blue, I decide that I am done.
I am done.
I am so, so very done.
I know that I am somewhat influenced by the article I read the other day (2 posts ago), but this does not change the impact of the revelation. I am done with this whole consuming, consuming, consuming thing. The commercialism, the cram-it-down-your-throat mentality that we all buy into (sometimes). Eat this! Swallow this! Listen to this Christmas crap music starting in October and 24 hours a day until Christmas! Buy these Valentine’s goodies the day after Christmas and these Easter goodies six days into the New Year! Dress like this! Use this shampoo! Drive this car! Read this book!
So we all run around, buying all this crap, and nobody talks to anybody. We’re just stuffing and stuffing and stuffing the void and nothing will ever fill it. I can’t take it anymore.
I’m done.
Obviously, I still need to consume. But the only thing that will ever fill my soul -- our souls -- is the knowledge that we are part of some gigantic intangible.
I am going to make a conscious effort to be more connected to the humanity around me. Whether it’s a conversation in the grocery line, a note to a distant friend, a phone call I’ve been putting off, I need to connect more. I’m going to strive every day to have conversations with my students, and not just throw information at them. I’m going to go to an AA meeting, not so much because I need it (though I do, and it saved my life), but because someone else might benefit from something I say. If I'm feeling brave, I might even talk to my neighbors.
I’m thinking that maybe if each of us would try, in our small way, to connect more, and plug into our electronics less, together we might just change the world.
I ran out of all the medicine cabinet essentials this week (cold medicine, Imodium, tampons ... it was a really great week, but that tale is for another day, or never.), so I went to CVS this morning to replenish. Lo and holy fuck, but what am I facing … an Easter display. An EASTER DISPLAY ON JANUARY 6th. Already I am having the most surreal and somewhat fear-filled day on this 72-degree spring January day, and now I am looking at Marshmallow Peeps and Cadbury Fucking Cream Eggs.
So I turn back to my line and try not to let this depress me, because as you know from my last shopping trip I tend to get a little bit suicidal when I do errands. Then I see all the people standing in line, nobody talking to each other, two screaming into their cell phones, and one rocking out in silence, plugged into his mp3 world.
I pay, get in the car, drive home to spend my own afternoon in silence and then suddenly, like a bolt form the blue, I decide that I am done.
I am done.
I am so, so very done.
I know that I am somewhat influenced by the article I read the other day (2 posts ago), but this does not change the impact of the revelation. I am done with this whole consuming, consuming, consuming thing. The commercialism, the cram-it-down-your-throat mentality that we all buy into (sometimes). Eat this! Swallow this! Listen to this Christmas crap music starting in October and 24 hours a day until Christmas! Buy these Valentine’s goodies the day after Christmas and these Easter goodies six days into the New Year! Dress like this! Use this shampoo! Drive this car! Read this book!
So we all run around, buying all this crap, and nobody talks to anybody. We’re just stuffing and stuffing and stuffing the void and nothing will ever fill it. I can’t take it anymore.
I’m done.
Obviously, I still need to consume. But the only thing that will ever fill my soul -- our souls -- is the knowledge that we are part of some gigantic intangible.
I am going to make a conscious effort to be more connected to the humanity around me. Whether it’s a conversation in the grocery line, a note to a distant friend, a phone call I’ve been putting off, I need to connect more. I’m going to strive every day to have conversations with my students, and not just throw information at them. I’m going to go to an AA meeting, not so much because I need it (though I do, and it saved my life), but because someone else might benefit from something I say. If I'm feeling brave, I might even talk to my neighbors.
I’m thinking that maybe if each of us would try, in our small way, to connect more, and plug into our electronics less, together we might just change the world.
16 comments:
Being connected...something I have been trying a little more of lately as well.
If you're, you know, connecting, you could come to Wisconsin. It's at least cooler here.
I think I'm still hording candy from last Easter... maybe your day was a sign that I should let it go. Hm.
i agree. this can be the year of you and me! together! connected! and with exclamation points!
Love this post.
You, as ever, are my hero.
P.S. And feel bettah!
I'm incapable. I'm more of a "The Day I Tried To Live" (Soundgarden) kind of person than a "We Are The World" (every singer ever known to man, as long as they were making crappy 80s music) member of the species. It's still a nice sentiment, and I wish you nothing but success in your attempt.
Everyone always swore I would be the guy who said, "You kids get out of my yard!" when I got older.
Now, I'm not so sure. I keep evolving as a person.
I'm still a little shy and misunderstood, but I don't seem to wallow in it as much as I used to.
Still, there's nothing like an iPod to make a trip to WalMart bearable. :)
I'm mad for you!
I'm a great believer in changing the world with a smile, whenever possible. Of being warm, and friendly, and helping strangers, and being kind whenever I can. I try not to judge other people on how they live but rather, focus on how I treat them and try to engineer change from myself first.
Of course, if the 18-year-old me met me now, he would punch me for being a hippy.
Anyway, just wanted to let you know you're not alone. Fight the power!
People suck. I scare them in line by asking about their health and families.
This is a great post. I'm signing on to your movement.
I've been thinking that same thing lately. I have two friends who have recently moved away (one to SC, one to FL), and I keep putting off calling them.. (what do I have to say that would make any sense in a 20 min phone call?) So I've decided to write them instead.. a personal touch from a friend that's far away. I think there's some sentiment behind that. At least I hope so..
converse with me hot stuff.
Ohmigod.
I love you sooooooooo much.
amen, sister.
amen.
Screw CVS- they made all of our Sav-ons into CVS. Bad service.
I wear an ipod so people won't talk to me...
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