September 26, 2006

Y'all pull up a stool and set a spell.


'Cause I got stuff to say. And when I say it, I want you here listenin'.

I actually have a cowgirl outfit quite similar to this.

The Blogging thing is hard for me sometimes; in the beginning it was easier to be honest on my blog and to say how I really felt about things, but as more and more people have started reading it (including family and close friends), it gets harder to do that. It’s like when you go to a new city and in the beginning you can act like a big asshole because nobody knows you; but as you become a member of the community, you reel it in a bit. At least I do. Either that or move to a new town so I can keep being an asshole.

Mostly, my creativity gets in a rut sometimes; I just don’t have enough feelings about things to be able to write well. I find I need to be angry or humorously annoyed to be able to write really well. When I’m just plodding through my relaxing summer, there isn’t much to say. Then one day I wake up & realize that my blog feels like a chore, and that is when I take a break. Or post really simple stuff, or dwell in my childhood by revisiting Sesame Street episodes that make me happy.

While on my short break, I discovered that I am seething with feelings! Yes, it is true! At the moment, I find myself mostly pissed off. Here are some of the things I am pissed off about:

 The stupid 20 year old girls in choir who won’t shut up and even have the nerve to talk on the cell phone. DURING REHEARSAL!

 The teacher on my team (who brought the dog to work) who won’t shut up when I am trying to run a meeting, and the other teacher who sits across from her and shouts back at her. It’s like Cage Match, and I’m the referee.

 The way Shepherd Boy appears in my dreams unexpectedly, and then acts like we’ve been talking for the past 13 years instead of this void of silence that I hate so much.

 I’m mad at alcohol, because why does it have to be something that is so nice and so fun and oh, this red goes so nicely with the veal, and then suddenly one day you wake up more hung-over than you have ever been in your life and realize it’s a problem for you? Why couldn’t it just stay fun and easy? And I can’t ever go back to fun and easy, because I am past that. Fuck you, ETOH!

 When I wrote you the long email about my MS diagnosis, this comment, which I guess was the best you could do: “Wow, that is a lot to digest.” Yeah, sorry my multiple scle-fuckin-RO-sis is so hard for you. Guess I overestimated you. Don’t talk to me; if you do, I’ll just pretend I was talking about someone else.

 Although I feel like I have a right to make jokes like this, and that makes me happy.

Now if I can get a few scary dolls, teddy bears, or thumb-sucking teenage girls (my best rant ever, and worth the click) back into my life, I’ll really have some fodder for the mill.

Until then, please just lie on top of me and wiggle so I can feel better and release some of this anger.

15 comments:

jamwall said...

::wiggle::

there....how's that..

Spinning Girl said...

to the left a little

jiggs said...

my child, if only I could wiggle on you, I would.

I have trouble with the blogging too. i haven't felt inspired in quite a while.

BadGod said...

does having MS make your titties bigger? I swore I read that on Wiki.....

BadGod said...

Oh...and I'll sell you my blogger account. All I want is $1500 and some beaver shots.
Then you can be as nasty and mean as you want and not one person will care because they will think it's me. Unless they read this comment. Then they'll know.

Well, I pretty much fucked that plan up, now didn't I?

Monkey said...

Dog Pile!! wiggle wiggle wiggle

I hear you on the blogging thing. I was uninspired for 7 months. This is how I feel now: I'm not always funny, or even interesting, but I want to keep my blog going for those rare days when funny or interesting visits me. For a while I had no hope... but that is another story.

And yes, blogging for family and friends can be... awkward.

I love you!!

aughra said...

I volunteer to wiggle.

And I truly doubt that you have a problem with creativity.

Freewheel said...

C'mon and wiggle it, just a little bit...

Osbasso said...

I don't think you'd want me on top, but I'll give it the old college try...

Sometimes releasing the anger is better than trying to be creative and all that shit. Do what you need to...

miss kendra said...

i feel uninspired too.

i think if we all met and had a giant orgy we'd feel better.

or maybe just pie, i don't know.

Sleep Goblin said...

Lie on top of you and wiggle?? :)

If you insist.

Brookelina said...

1. I often have trouble writing for fear that someone I know will read it and I'll be mortified. I've even thought of trashing the whole thing and starting over incognito.

2. I have felt no inspiration of late.

3. I am currently working on a post full of things that piss me off.

We are way too much alike. Now if only I could buy a house as cute as yours all would be well.

Anonymous said...

i think the muse sort of leaves us all every now and again, my blog is nothing but a glorified picture book of photos at the moment, mainly because every time i write something it well, sounds abit flat and un-inspired.
I am sending wiggles from across the Atlantic to help you feel better though, if that helps at all.....

Anonymous said...

attention, you big asshole:

i lvoe you.

Tits McGee said...

You are delicious.

::wiggling wildly::