- I have hateful thoughts from time to time. I know this comes as a surprise to many of you. I frequently call people names inside my head while I am listening to them. My favorite name is “whore” and my second favorite name is “dirty skank” and my third favorite name is “asswipe” , pronounced oss-wee-pay.
- For dinner, I have been known to eat an entire bag of soybeans and a container of hummus.
- I have recently discovered Red Bull and I can’t stop pounding that stuff.
- Monkey is coming to visit in 4 days and I am so excited that I can hardly contain myself. I’ve already alerted my friends and family that Monkey will be with me that whole weekend. I keep having to remind myself that he is stuffed. Sorry, Monkey, I mean no offense by that. You know that you are, right?
- I take a nap whenever I damn well feel like it.
- I love the way I can sculpt my hair into shapes right before I wash it. It’s so unsexy, it came full circle & is totally sexy.
- One of my blog friends said something about having a penis shaped like a tuna can and now I have this really weird image in my head. What can you do with that shape?!?
- Yum yum bumblebee, bumblebee tuna! I love bumblebee, bumblebee tuna. Yum yum bumblebee, bumblebee tuna, I love a sandwich made with bumble bee! Bumblebee!
- I need to lay off the Red Bull. How am I supposed to sleep?
Monday morning EDIT: I am über unhappy. Seems the rain/ice line falls above my house. All schools in my area are closed; the town where I work doesn't even need a delay. I love that. Dirty whoring skank!!!
11 comments:
I went on a snowboarding trip last New Year's (no, not last month, a year ago). We had Red Bull with Jagermeister for lunch everyday. I've never had it by itself.
whoa "full circling" is a term that one of my friends recently told me about. It's weird that you say the same thing.
You can keep your damn Red Bull ... I went to the site and all I saw were guys on skis talking about how important it was ... I dunno, something to do with skiing.
I prefer to sit at home with me thumb up me arse drinking Glenfiddich! Now that's a man's drink! I don't even know that that Red Bull is. All I could find on their web site was guys in toques talking about skiing and motorcycles and their "machines." You can't drink a damn motorcycle!
It's a beverage for pansies! Be a man and drink real scotch, ya damn weenies!
By the way ... what does "Oss-wee-pay" mean? That's a new one one me.
(Rather alarming how passionate I am about alcohol. Must speak to my therapist about this.)
I should mention I'm in a silly mood and I'm eying a bottle of Glenfiddich ... but it's late Sunday night and I have to work tomorrow ... What to do?
I'll probably end up with tea. Damn!
This is odd....I recently found an Indian hooker named Red Snatch...and I can't stop pounding her! Hello? Is this thing on?
Well at least I don't practice the Cleveland Steamer on the arm of my easy chair! (Yeah I read THAT comment, missy.)
Stuffed??? Stuffed????? I'll show you stuffed! Hmph.
Ahem.
I call people "poop heads" inside my mind. I'm just that kind of monkey.
Congratulations on your snow and ice day! Nothing is closed up here, the storm hasn't reached us yet. Now.... hand over the Red Bull and no one gets hurt.
Bonus points for using the word "skank"!
Someone say motorcycle?
And it is not Asswipe, it is Ossweepay, thank you very much.
Am I "Whore" or "Skank"?
you are looking at a RED BULL junkie.
with vodka on ice...or during the day...just straight out of the can.
Oh Sab, don't be a hater just because you are constipated from a lack of legumes in your diet. Let me make you some edamame and your anus will feel just fine in a little while.
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