August 25, 2005

Meditation 2

As some of you may recall, last time I tried to meditate, I wasn’t all that successful at clearing the static in my head. Let’s see how I did today. Here are the thoughts that surfaced:

  • While I was walking home from the market, I was passed by 3 Subaru Imprezas in a row. I wonder what this could possibly mean.
  • According to the sign in front of the funeral home near my house, the Funeral Director’s last name is Wakeman. Now that’s funny.
  • In 1999 my car was struck by lightning on I-84 outside Hartford, CT. With me in it. It was amazing: a blinding blue flash, a huge crrrrrrrrrrrack!, and then a blown fuse box. I didn’t realize I’d been struck (I was perfectly fine); I just thought, “whoa, that was close,” and glided to a stop under an overpass.
  • It’s not the car’s tires that make you safe; it’s the metal frame around you.
  • And why is it always a cow that’s skeletonized by piranhas?
  • The siren on top of my local firehouse is really, really loud; as is Engine 1.
  • People who have house fires between the hours of midnight and 5 AM are really, really inconsiderate.
  • I get a funny feeling in my tummy when Engine 1 goes by; kind of like when I used to climb the ropes in gym class.
  • My gym teacher finally banned me from the ropes because I climbed them so much (grade 3).
  • I also live near the train tracks.
  • I love my new notepad; my boss didn’t seem to like it so much.

  • I am starting to wonder why I chose such a noisy place to live.
  • That spider on the door was moving really fast this morning. If my hand had been near it, he would have jumped on me, and I would not have liked that.
  • I really need to go to Staples and shop for school supplies, but I can’t deal with crowds of kids and parents clutching pages of required supply lists from all their schools.
  • I have to share a classroom with Miss Crazybritches again this year. Hope she doesn’t organize my pencil drawer again because it’s not up to spec. We are like a lion and a tiger, sharing a cage.
  • Speaking of tigers, I have a sudden impulse to rent & watch a Winnie the Pooh film. I love listening to the guy’s voice who does Pooh. I get that tickly feeling in my head like when somebody plays with your hair.
  • All of the creeks are dried up from lack of rain. I went to my brook to throw Cheerios to the fish and all I saw were mud flats and dead plants. I hope the fish are happily living downstream somewhere.
  • I know she’s feeling Hella Good, but just how long can Gwen keep on dancing?
  • I hate when I’m joking around and someone gets offended. Nothing feels bad in quite the same way, as a joke gone wrong.
  • The Mayonnaise & Summer-Tomato sandwich is possibly my favorite sandwich, and is one of the best-tasting things in the world. A little salt & pepper, lightly toasted bread, & a big ol’ slab of fresh-picked tomato. Yum. I’ve been eating them 3 times a day for 3 weeks.
  • Why is everything about the number 3?
  • I wonder if there’s any Greek Yogurt left in the fridge. If so…gotta go.

19 comments:

Chark Hammis said...

I wish Miss Crazybritches was my teacher in school. Holy smokes, she's bitchin'.

Heather said...

Ohhhh... I love tomato sandwiches.. Everyone I tell that too looks at me weird. Its so nice to know Im normal by someones standards :)

HighMaintenanceHussy said...

I have a question for you. Please don't take offense.

Are you really just 14 years old?

I ask, because you sound a lot like me at 14. lol

Bobby said...

My therapist asked me to stop taking walks and meditating, as your post is the type of list that I would bring to discuss with him afterwards.

Hilarious though. I am going ask at least five people today the Gwen Stefani question, and see what the response is. :)

BadGod said...

My neighbor just bought a new Harley Davidson. It's a great bike.

Maybe 14 years ago when it was new and ran good.
Now I get to listen to him crank it up aroung 8 am and rev up to get it running, then he's full throttle and 3 gears away form the stop sign, half a block away. then it dies. Then repeat all over again.

Friends of McDougal said...

I live next door to a missile silo. About ten minutes ago, they launched all their missiles, then all these Air Force guys ran out of the base, screaming and crying.

I wonder what that means?

Fuck it. I'm going back to bed.

(Yo, spinner -- check the e-mail account you list in your profile.)

Bobby said...

I've been thinking, on my entire drive into work, that the Gwen thing should really be on a t-shirt. I would buy one.

The only bad thing is now I have the stupid bananas line from that Gwen song stuck in my head. "Bananas? B. A. N. ANAS."

Argh. It's Friday, so I feel hella good anyways, and I will keep on dancing until Monday morning.

UberGoober said...

Spinning Girl, You should wear a foil helmet when you walk, just like I do. It tends to keep the disturbing thoughts down to a minimum. Sure people stare but isn't piece of mind worth it.

On and YUMM on the tomato sammiches, I LOVE those. Try it on toast with some mayo. ;)

*rpaph*

Anonymous said...

Meditating is good. I just meditated on your meditation and here is what I come up with:
1.I think Subarus are just popular cars because they are good all wheel drive vehicles (hence, the three in a row thing you observed).
2. I think it would be really funny if you changed the letters on the Funeral Director's name so that it read "Walkman"--I don't know why I think that is funny, I just do.
3. I just recently told Donald Duck about the time your car was struck by lightning with you in it and he didn't believe me. Oh, also tires are what makes it safe because they usually ground the lightning.
4. It's so much fun to piss off gym teachers--why is that?
5. I love your new notepad too. I guess I wonder why you showed it to your boss. I think my boss would laugh if she saw it. Maybe you should show it to my boss instead.
6. Had that same reaction in T.J. Max that you are anticipating having in Staples. Went in to TJ just to look around and saw too many parents getting kids "back to school" clothes or "off to college" stuff and I ran right outta there before anybody noticed me.
7. Is Miss Crazybritches the "For Future" woman originally from my hometown??
8. I too HATE when people get offended by joking around. What is wrong with them anyway. Do you think some people are born with senses of humor and some are not?
9. Love the picture of your fresh tomato sandwich. Know what else is yummy--half a fresh plain bagel with tomato slices and onion slices on it. Yum.

Leigh Yung Li said...

OOOPS, that last "Anonymous one is me...sorry about that.

TinaPoPo said...

I live right next to train tracks -- and the train station. So when the trains pull in, they do that train-honking thing. They don't seem to care much what time it is.

Used Hack said...

Mmmmmmmmmmmm. Summer tomato sandwich. :)

SquirrleyMojo said...

The number 3 is holy.

Spinning Girl said...

D--Yeah, she is bitchin' just about all the time.

H--glad you're in on the secret.

HMH--no (I was 14 back in the 80's), but I feel 14 on the inside. I took my "age" down though, because my legal team advised me that the next few pictures I'm going to put up wouldn't go over too well with the Flaggers if I was actually 14.

Bobby--I think you & I were baked from the same batch.

Baddie--I feel your pain. I don't get the funny tummy feeling from decades+ old Harleys.

McD--Good Giggles on the missile thing. I'll check my email shortly. Did you send me dirty stuff? Don't--it's my grandma's email.

Monkeybite--I've been doing that trick ever since I saw SIGNS a few years ago. And yes, the mayo is a key ingredient! NOT Miracle Whip. Mayo.

Anon--True story on the lightning strike and no, it's the metal frame. The tires thing is a myth. Trust me. Not to be a science snob but...well yeah, I am one. I was reading your post and thinking, who the hell is this?!?!? But the For Future thing gave it away. Yep, that's her.[Miss Crazy-B gives all her free advice with the preface "for future", as in "for future, could you file your papers alphabetically so I can find them when I'm rummaging through your files for a quick lesson plan?" Thanks for reading, LYL! Keep your pants dry!

Tina--I think the train drivers get off on blowing that horn all hours of the night.

Hack--ah yes, then you, too, know.

Thank you, Squirrel.

Cass said...

Try some swiss cheese on that
tomato sandwich. That's my fave.

I sleep with my boss and cook his dinner, so he doesn't care what kind of notepads I use.

Cap'n Marrrrk said...

Tomatoes and Mayo? Bleh! You can have mine. My favorite which I can't eat anymore was the Oscar Meyer Bologna sandwich with yellow mustard and dill pickles on the side.

I love this word verification thing.

UberGoober said...

Thats right, Miracle Whip is dressing. Mayo is Mayo.

mr_g said...

Oh My God....that's exactly what happens to me when I've tried to meditate. Only I'll start obsessing about one thing and get totally focused on it until I'm stressed beyond belief!

Caryn said...

Excellent list! I loved the observations. I had the urge to respond to each of your observations but, sadly, lack the time so I'll just congratulate you and move on. Time for a little dinner.