August 23, 2005

Ice Cream


I was browing my archives and came across the stalled plans to open an ice-cream shoppe. Nobody wants ice cream in the winter, so maybe I have plenty of time to think of lots of new flavors to mention when I write my business plan. Any suggestions? Here is the list as it now stands:

Unusual Ice Cream Flavors:

Asparagus
Asphalt
Ass
Astroglide
Autumn Leaves
Bangers-n-Mash
Beef Barley
Beet
Blood
Burnt Chicken Skin
Calzone
Cigar
Clam Chowder
Clams Casino
Cod
Crunchy Frog
Curds-n-Whey
Defeat
Dentures
Dirty Girl
Dust Bunny
Eggs Over Easy
Fish & Chips
Flannel
Fredo
Fried Green Tomatoes
Fungoid Tincture
Gauze
Goat Teat
Grout
Guilt
Haggis
Hatred
Hobo
Kosher Dill
Kudzu
Melanoma Mudpie
Metal
Mint Pussy
Moonshine
Moth
Mothball
Motherf***ing Chocolate Milk!
My Plums
Non-Acetone Nail Polish Remover
Noxzema
Nuts and Bolts
Nutty Chunks o' Nail
Pickles
Pimento
Pimple
Pipe Tobacco
Pony
Preparation H
Scabies-n-Rabies
Scunge
Scurvy
Shame
Sheep Teat
Shepherds Pie
Shoe Insert Surprise
Soapy Suds
Sperm
Spiderweb
Swamp Ass
Taco Salad
Toejammygoodness
Tongue Depressor
Toothpaste
Unflossed
WD-40
Wet Hairball
White School Paste
Whore
Wolverine

20 comments:

kudos the kung fu fighter said...

wd-40 and shoe insert suprise look yummy

Friends of McDougal said...

Anthrax Surprise
Bathwater Series
~ Courtney Love's Bathwater
~ Rosie O'Donnel Bathwater
~ John Candy's Last Bath
Borax
Brisket
Chlorine
Dry Wall
Dung
(Aunt) Esther's Hairnet
Ether Nightcap
Frozen High Fructose Corn Syrup
Goat Cooter
Graham Nashed Potato Cream Sorbet
Gym Socks with Jock Sauce
Hair
Horse Radish
Ill-fitting Panties
Jambalaya
Klan Cream Pie
Lima Bean
Mystery Goo
NutSack (served in an edible fleshy bowl)
The Ole Collection
~ Ole' Grease Can
~ Ole' Wind Bag
~ Ole' Thorax Delight
Portrait of Dorian Gray Pistachio Twist
Quincy's Goiter
Radish
Railroad Gin
Smegma
Tiger Droppings
Urinal Cake
Vaginamite Sundae
Wombat
XXX Dildo Delight
Yoda's Ear Wax (Movie-tie in here - big $$ opportunity)
Zebra Pelt

~~~
Hope that helps ...

Friends of McDougal said...

Also - Your blog is the funniest I've read all day.

If you need some help coming up with ad slogans for the new shop, let me know.

I'm already bouncing around:

"Eat the shit out of some MintPussy (r) Monday"

Or maybe weekend specials, where people pay one price then come eat whatever the fuck they want out of huge troughs. Bonus -- no spoons.

It'd be like bobbing for apples, only ... and stay with me here ... EVERYONE'S A WINNER!

Juliabohemian said...

pencil shavings
iron filings
dencher adhesive

babyjewels said...

Fredo Chip Dude Dough, with extra sprinkles (pubes)

tolbs said...

I was going to say that i could have sworn that i read this somewhere else and that you were stealing original property, but then i realized that I read this originally at your site. :P

As for flavors how about Domokun Meat?

They can't taste good! THEY EAT SOULS!!!

Spinning Girl said...

Yesssssssssss! I am now so hard up I'm stealing my own material.

Oh, all the Domo creations are original work too--obviously, since he was in my bed! How could I fake that?!?!?

I wonder what a soul tases like? I think mine is ginger.

And Fredo tastes like...yummm, the beach.

josh williams said...

"Things to stick up your butt and Unlikely Ice Cream Flavors" was my fathers Idea long before it was yours. However he lost interest and had trouble finding investors so I contacted him and is willing to give you the shop but told me to tell you to talk to a lawyer so someone does not steal this sure fire scheme.I think he likes and respects you.Kudos. JW

Fredo Teabaggins said...

Ass. Nothing better on waffle cone than ass flavored ice cream, with bits o' hair and fronk dust.

BadGod said...

What about "Strap-on Throat Choke"?

No? ok.

larin von smartass said...

i ate garlic icecream yesterday.
at the beach, my friend ate viagra flavored icecream.
also available was bacon.

apparently garlic icecream is a french delicatsy.
[im such a horendous speller]

Sublime said...

I'd like to add a few:

Yellow Mustard
Coffee Grounds
Lard
Grease Trap
Jerk Chicken
Split Pea
and Pig's Feet

Anna said...

you forhot wasabi.... always a face.

Phil said...

That is actually a flavor. ::shivers::
At this summer tasting at my local Coldstone Creamery, they unleashed a slew of new flavors, including; Wasabi, Black Licorice, some actual good tasting ones, and Cereal.

Monkey said...

Money Feces

Aginoth said...

sand
Belly Button Fluff
Air

Pille said...

Ja kuidas kamajäätis kõlab? Kamakreem ja kamavaht on hea, nii et kamajäätis peaks vist kah hea olema?
Lagritsajäätis
Barbarissijäätis
Murakajäätis
Piparkoogijäätis (jõhvikamoosiga)
Ise ostaks küll neid:)

Spinning Girl said...

Mmm, Pille, need kostavad magusad. Ma ei oska inglise keelde tõlkida kama, ega ka mitte murakat. Pean sõnaraamatust järele vaatama. Tänu, et sa ikka minu jama loed!

Pille said...

Kama ongi kama vist (ma oma blogis jätsin ka tõlkimata) ja murakas on cloudberry või arctic raspberry.
Sina käid ju minu jama ka lugemas;)

Pille said...

"Jama" pidi viimases kommentaaris olema muidugi jutumärkides! Vabandan:)