July 18, 2015

What’s That in My Refrigerator? : a helpful taxonomic key

IF IT LOOKS LIKE….
A large, dead birdIT IS ACTUALLY…
A Purdue oven-stuffer roaster (a large, dead, edible bird)

IF IT LOOKS LIKE….
A small, dead bird
IT IS ACTUALLY…
A cornish game hen (a small, dead, edible bird) (all birds are edible, really…)

IF IT LOOKS LIKE….
A tube of red, crusty toothpaste
IT IS ACTUALLY…
Anchovy paste or tomato paste

IF IT LOOKS LIKE….
Yellowish liquid peanut butter
IT IS ACTUALLY…
Miso

IF IT LOOKS LIKE….
A slimy glop of seaweed
IT IS ACTUALLY…
chives I forgot were in there

IF IT LOOKS LIKE….
A daffodil bulb about to burst forth in a song of spring
IT IS ACTUALLY…
Garlic from last summer

IF IT LOOKS LIKE….
Ugli fruitIT IS ACTUALLY…
Uniq fruit, here in Connecticut, where no one would ever eat anything with the word “ugli” in it

IF IT LOOKS LIKE….
Black maple syrup
IT IS ACTUALLY…
A balsamic vinegar reduction (that I made myself on the stove and which warranted a visit from the local F.D.)

IF IT LOOKS LIKE….
A compost heap
IT IS ACTUALLY…
My “crisper” drawer (winner of the esteemed 2005 Misnomer
Award)

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