Do not fold, spindle, or mutilate.
This vajayjay is not a toy.
yes i would love a martini, thanks for asking.i'll be over by the crudite when it's ready.
Have you tried the scallops wrapped in bacon? They are to die for.
I'm just here for the food.
And the company of course.
bacon??? i'm so down with bacon.will there be pigs in blankets?chicken satay?i like appetizers. we should do this more often.
Pigs in blankets coming up. And prosciutto-wrapped canteloupe!This is such fun.When do we start the games?
Where's the bathroom?
I brought the Twister game!
This conversation is going nowhere.Don't make me get Darth Vader. 'Cause I will. I know him.I was at his kid's birthday party! I was the clown!
this is the best party ever.i don't feel awkward, and i can wear my pajamas!
We were supposed to wear clothes?
I would love to be your new friend!
Who has my pants? Did somebody take my pants? The cab guy says he won't take me if I don't have pants and I've gotta work in the morning. You know?
I got mad hits like I was Rod Carew!
I think the cops are here...
Great. The cops. Where the hell are my damn pants?!!!
Yeesh. Is the party still on? I'm hanging out by the tapas.
I am back. New post.
Can I have some Cheetos please?
I'm in the middle of playing nekkid twister, with a dood with no pants, and the cops are here?I smell bacon.
Right foot green! Is there vodka in this punch, or do I need to find a different excuse for hiding Bill's pants?
i passed out in the bathtub.we're still here?is there bacon left?
Wait people, waiiiiiiiiiit!! don't leave! I made s'mores!
Why are you people still awake?!?
I'm wide awake, milady.
Start the party! I'm here!
I have insomnia. Again.
Who finished all the bacon covered scallops for cripe's sake? Some party. Oh wait! There's Dave and AG!
Oink oink. I'm on the Pigpile! WOOOHOOOO.
Where are the dancers for this party??
i thought this was singles night. hey! whose pants are those in the toilet? and whats that guy with the hat doing to that cabbie out front. i tell you spinner, youre throwing a hell of a party here! is that sweedish bikini team in your hot tub???!
Have your tried bluecheese bacon hamburger? Yummy!Party on!SMooch,The Tart
The fun has arrived... I brought Uno!
I just saw Colin Farrell. Careful - he's got a video camera.
I don't mind cameras. It's Collin Ferrell I'm worried about. He sleeps with hookers, ya know. Doesn't mean I won't sleep with him. I'm juss sayin'.
Ooh, Bacon, Bleu cheese. Uno. Colin
Did I miss the party? I hope there's more dip!
Does this look infected to you?
Geezus! You slept with Colin, didn't you. Dammit! I warned you about that.
You know those times when you feel like you go to the SAME parties with the SAME people and talk about the SAME things?Well. This party is NOTHING like those parties.
Somebody has taken it upon themselves to paint the upstairs bathroom hot pink and change the theme from seashore to Paris Hilton.Also, there are shrimp tails on the stereo, and that's just gross.
Can I come play? I've got chocolate syrup.
Well, I don't know what's going on, but Paris Hilton just walked in and stole my Uno cards. I mean, if she wants to play, I guess that's alright, but she's not allowed to lick the cards.
And now Hosni is here! Hello, Mr. Mubarak. Hello!
Wow! This party is longer than that week long shindig where I was conceived!
Who left the seat up?!?
You have to lift the seat up if you're going to puke. It's only common curtesy. Why? Did you fall in?
She might not have fallen in, but I did! Anyone got some clothes I could borrow?
Who put the seat back down? I've made a mess in here.
You want me to get completely nekkid so that you can have some clothes without puke on them?!Ok. The seat's not down, I'm still sitting on the toilet. And yes.. you HAVE made a mess in here. Ew.
I confess, I left the shrimp tails on the stero.... *hangs head*
Can you believe this party is still going?!?!? It's like woodstock!
does that mean i shouldn't eat the brown acid?because it might be too late.
Could I get a Glen Fiddich, Solera Reserve?
Do you mind if I stand in the corner and hog the chips?
I'm already in the corner Ing, but I'll make room for you. I'm a very good sharer.
I saw on some lame girl's blog that you can actually pluck eyebrow hairs and eat them. Have you seen this girl?
I'll just assume my invitation was lost in the mail. Or male. Sometimes my mail gets stuck in a male. Open bar. Woo Hoo.
Assless chaps? Hey! Those are my pants! Give 'em back!
aren't chaps by definition assless? otherwise they would be pants.
Who used up all the toilet paper?!?!?
You mean you're not supposed to EAT the toilet paper? MMmmfft.How long have I BEEN here? Gah! I think I might be fired from work.
The fridge is empty I think you better send somebody out for more beer.
I have cotton mouth like a mutha fucker.
Pass the Nuts.
am i too late? i have beer, bacon, anti cop devices, cheetos, dancers, cab money, neosporin, nuts, lysol and change of clothes for everyone!
Excuse me mates, but do you mind if break out my Best of Oingo Boingo CD. "weird science ...woooo"Maybe not.
Oooh, I think you just emptied the place. What should we put on to get this thing rolling again? I know, Goldfrapp.
Can you pass the Neosporin?
Oh, I've been here before. Fancy that.Fancy that- with a vengeance!
Would you like to see my dick? :-I am a good fuck. You may fuck me now if you wish.
Don't waste yer time, ladies. Blug's not that good. Pass the neosporin again, though.
Spinning Girl is a genius.
You're out of toilet paper.
i don't have anything to talk about.lets fuck.
Come on now people, let's get together and regain our focus at our centers.Chant with me.Nam yo ho renge kyoNam yo ho renge kyoNam yo ho renge kyoNam yo ho renge kyoNam yo ho renge kyoEverybody!Nam yo ho renge kyoUmmm ... anybody?Nam yo ho ....Never mind.
What the f**k are we talkin' about? Could it be n*****s?Or maybe t**t? Oh man, I hate having to "mom" edit my comments!Or did I misread that e-mail? Can I swear here or not?
Someone roll me outside. I'd hate to puke on SG's bed.
I have toilet paper (and tampons) if anyone needs them.
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. I'm stoned.
Has anynoe seen my Kitten in a Sandwich thong?Also, please let's keep the noise down. I have neighbors, you know.
Is this like an acid flashback? I'm sure I was at this party last week.
Is THAT what's up my ass?? I thought it was Jamwall. Uh.. here's your thong back, SG.
"Who ate all the damn crab puffs?"
Mint-n-chip ice cream.
Monkeybite - that was me with the crab puffs. And let me tell ya about the mean case of the toots they gave me. Weeeeoo! Anybody bring some febreeze?
What is that fucking stain?!?!?
The stain on the thong?I TOLD you it was up my ass. Sheesh.
I feel like I'm at Woodstock. Who wants to dance naked in the mud? Come on now, don't be shy.
Thanks for the retraction.I understand your anger towrads all things Iowa. You ahve just moved up a few notches on my 'doable' list.
where's the bathroom? i think i might throw up.nope, it passed. moretinis please.
After re reading my previous comment you can also add 'people from Iowa can't spell'. I will not argue that.
Anybody interested in condo opportunities in Costa Rica?
Ha ha ha ... I was the 100th comment! And yes, for a mere $10,000 cash only payment (small non-sequential bills) you can own a lovely condo in Costa Rica! Would I lie to you? It's the opportunity of a lifetime!
How did I get covered in jello?
Hey Spinning Girl--I noticed you a regular on Monkey's blog, and even had a visit with him--do you have any idea where he's gone? It's pretty weird that he just disappeared. Anyway, have a lovely Friday!-Junniper
I need to shave.Still.
Who's up for pudding wrestling in the back yard???
The only thing that beats pudding wrestling on a Friday is the mean licking you get afterwards!
So many people here. I'm sure I can feel a connection with someone here. Has anyone in here ever killed a man for no reason other than the fact that you enjoyed the smell of their cologne?
Lots of pudding wrestling and jello in Costa Rica. Act now before this opportunity is gone!
Will you post something, for fuck's sake?I mean...please. Your writing makes me feel like I am beating off to Mozart or something. I really have no idea what that means.
Time to cut off badgod.I was gonna run to the store for smokes, anyone need anything?
Could you please pick up some more jello and pudding, it's starting to get a little sticky in here and I think we need a refresher....Hey Spinning Girl, I think this is the longest party in history! Whooops! Man this stuff is slippery!!!!
I just hate being at the end of the food line... there's no food left for me now!
Corley, I could use a pack of zigzags. I think I'm out. SG, where's your stash? OH wait, I remember.. in the bejeweled Altoids box...
Oh my god. I just woke up. Whose tube top is this in my sleeping bag?
OOps, sorry I shouldn't leave my stuff around. *hangs head in shame* By the way, do you know who's underwear this is?!?!Hey Denny just open the other fridge, it's full.
I found a head shop before I found the deli mart, so here are those zags and SG, I got you spray cheese made from hemp seed oil. The can says that it can double as caulking. Enjoy!I found a couple boxes of jello pudding in my truck, they shouldn't be too old...
What do you mean, where are my pants? I thought you said.. OH.. check your *shoes* at the door. I must look stoopid. ps. Put this back up at the top of yer bloggy. I'm not done talking to everyone and/or no one.
I think this party needs a little dancin'! Anybody know the cabbage patch? Don't worry, I do! Here it goes - I'm bustin' it out! Who want's to dance with me? What? Why is everyone looking at me like I'm white?Oh. I am white. Great - Now I feel like Carlton from Fresh Prince.
What song is playing when Buffalo Bill dances his "penis tuck" dance?
Oh I should say that my above question has NOTHING to do with my new webcam.
It's the freakin' weekend, baby, I'm about to have me some fun.
Does anyone have a safety pin?
Aw man, I hate showing up late.
Wow, this HAS to be a record! 126 comments for a blog post with NO body to it, just a title. Holy crap. Spinning Girl, you should win some sort of Bloggie Award for this! Crazy.
i heard there was bacon and smores, but pants were optional.
Ok, who's pants am I wearing? Where did they come from? What did I do last night?
...and those would be *my* pants. What happens at SG's, stays at SG's. And, Spinny, don't you even *think* about coming near me with that farkin' safety pin.
Hi guys! Wanna take a steam?I can't sit here naked by myself!
Dude, it's not a steam room if you just sit next to the teakettle in nothing but a dishtowel. Now turn that shit off and come play Celebrity with us.
How do you play Celebrity? Does it involve pants?
No shad, I will not staem with you, I need two dish towels and I need to go shower off all this pudding. It's getting a little crusty
someone smeared pudding all over my nipples. i yelled at him:"STOP THAT BILL COSBY!!!!"quit it, mr. huxtable!!!i'm pretty serious!!you can stop it when you get around to it!pudding pop in my ass? okay, sure i'll do it...
Celebrity? Let's play 7 degrees of Spinning Girl!! Yayayyaya!Um.. let's see, She's linked to Bobby, Bobby's linked to me, I'm linked to Shanshu, ...
Yes, that's me in the bathroom. Could you people please throw up somewhere else? I'm trying to have a shower here.
I lost my shoes.
I'm always late to parties. Is there any pudding left?
I think I caught impetigo in the ball pit. And pink eye.
uh, actually, that's a furuncle. and as for the pink eye stuff, y'mind not touching all the balls? o.k., maybe just not the red ones.
I'm tired of talking amongst myself. I have nothing interesting to say. Where are the strippers?
My God! I lost my underwear somewhere. Maybe in the balls?
Bill you were SUPPOSED TO BRING the stippers, be a good little doobie and go get them. Signgurl I think I saw your panties in the freezer when spinning girl went there to get an ice pack for her pink eye. rrramone, you're never late, the party starts once you get here!
My balls are sore.
Wait a second, WHY am I wearing pantieson my head and whos are they????
How can I be this hungover, I don't even drink.
Aww thanks, Big Mama! But now I'm tired. :-)
1. I leave yer site up even when I'm NOT grocery shopping. 2. I like to flail around in bed.3. Yes. It is very possible to have a sleepover soon. I'll pencil you in. Have yer people call my people.
To the top!! I demand it!!Whoa.. what stinks?
Your wish is my command.Oh -- that's the broccoli.
I am here, Spinning Girl. And it is your wish that is my command.
WOW, what a party, and have you seen the SIZE of that CHEESE TRAY! I'll be over near the door to the kitchen waiting for a fresh tray of mini egg rolls to come out.
That's not a mini-eggroll... that's my -- OUCH!
No one wants to play with us. That's ok, we'll just play with ourselves. ..that was the original plan, wasn't it?
I secretly long to be stroked by Carrot Top.
That is the most disgusting thing I have ever seen.
Carrot Top?!?! *confused* why?!?!?! Although he is looking quite buff lately...
I love polydactyly.
A-hem... I may be SUPER late to the party, I often am, but I'm the first to say:Happy Bloggiversary, Spinning Girl!!! (Don't fret, I won't sing.) I hope it has been a good year in the sphere of Blogdom. Though I wasn't around at the beginning of your sojourn into this land, I've always enjoyed your posts. Thank you, Spinning Girl for sharing with us!(Awww, did I just mush out?) ;>
I'm confused. Did carrot top lose his legs and grow boobs? Gah.Happy Bloggerversary Spinny. I can't remember how I found you, I assume by way of Jinxy, but I DO know one thing.. I'm never going to let you go. Aww...bleh.
"I secretly hide a Domo Kun doll in your hamper while you look the other way.""Happy Blogversary" it seems like you have been here for longer than that. Did that come out wrong? OH HELL!! pass me another Margarita and one of those cute women by the door. :) I'll be behind the couch....
This party is still going on???
Carrot Top is evil.It must be stopped.
Holy shit.To quote Mr. Rice after my shrooms escapade, "Well it was fun, but who knows where the fuck you've been."
I have been in the same position this whole fucking time. My hoo-haa hurts.
Wow. I spent 3 1/2 weeks crafting what I thought was a hilarious, thought provoking post, and got three comments. When will I learn?
There was a cheese ball with nuts stuck to it on top of the TV that I wanted to sample; who moved the cheese ball? Where is it, and does anyone have a spreader and some crackers?
who moved the cheese ball?!?!??!?!?!
The cheese ball is in my pants.
I threw a cheese ball against the wall in the Den. Take some crackers in there and scoop a bit off the wall before it sags to the floor."long live Spinning Girl's party"
But I wanted to dip into tits' pants!
this party requires entertainment.you all sit over there, and i'll get up on this here stage and do the fluffernutter shake.those of you who are prone to hypnotic states should avert your eyes.
What does a tupperware container and a walrus have in common?They're both looking for a tight seal!
How can you ask walrus questions when there is clearly a fluffernutter shake going on in here?fluuuu-ferrrrr-nuuhhhhh.....
I'm thinking this time ... toga party?
i'm wearing a toga under my regular clothing!
Calzone shagged the cat last night.
Toga, toga, toga....I'll bring the mustard!
i will be wearing a 500 threadcount toga.and my medical boot.
I've never been to a toga party. It might be interesting. But I worry about those cool spring breezes.
My butt itches.
Someone ate all the bananas on the appetizer tray. I'm out for blood.
Hummus for everyone!But firstwe dance.
I look like a burrito in this toga.
All I have right now is Fanta, hope that's OK.
It would be better if you had Shasta. I brought some mini tacos. I got shit (literally) all over my toga. How did the Greeks poo in these?
I wanna pop...I wanna sha-sha-sha-shasta (poured on my penial region).
Great party. But I have the oddest sense of deja-vu.
I brought some Mr. Pibb and rum. The store was all out of Dr. Pepper. I will not be pouring this on anyone's "naughty zone."I think wearing just the underpants works better than the toga. What do you think? I've been working out.
A year and a half and I still can't find the bathroom.
Is it weird that I put Benefiber in my coffee?
Heresy!Spanking will ensue.
Am I missing anything if I don't read the first 194 comments?
Was it something I said? My breath?
I think the obvious answer is this: It's not the spoon that's bending, but rather YOU are bending.At least that's what the waifish boy in the waiting room said. I tend to listen to people who have British accents...
..that's because british ppl sound more intelligent. while austrailian ppl sound more like wiener dogs.and the only thing you'll miss by not reading the previous 196 comments IS THE WHOLE FRICKIN' FRACKIN PARTY, THAT'S WHAT! gah. and spinny, still not a hair out of place. FABULOUS!(ps. my word ver has the word "yay" in it! YAY!!)
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