Results of the Pear & Vajayjay Contest

Contest over!

The winners of this contest are Gracie and Miss Kendra! Congratulations!!! If you would like your prize mailed to you, please supply me a mailing address and it will be on its way posthaste! I haven't decided what the prize is yet, but you can be fairly certain that it will be crap from my house.

Answers:

The pear was photographed at my grandfather's orchard, where all the fruit trees he tended while alive have gone wild. Thank you Gracie, for paying such close attention, even though you are a lurker and a stalker and that gives me a strange feeling in my tickle-place. Here is an excerpt from the post entitled Feral Fruits, where I describe it in full:

Recently, on a visit to upstate New York, I meandered the old plantings to look at the fruit. Pears, apples, and concord grapes are ripe now. I ate some, though I had to eat around the wormy parts. I thought it would make me sad to see the gardens gone wild, but instead it made me feel a fierce nostalgic pride that I can hardly begin to put into words. Here, eight years after his death, I see my grandfather's spirit. In these growing things, propagating on their own and insisting upon living, I see his legacy. I know that if anyone ever wanted to start fighting the bugs and weeds again, they could, and they would reap unparalleled rewards.

These untamed, blemished fruits are somehow beautiful to me. They bear life's scars and survive proudly without anyone's help. A few months of tender loving care and no one would ever suspect that they were feral fruits for several years.


"Vajayjay", whether it came from a TV show or not, was first uttered in my comment thread by Bobby, which forever endeared him to me, and made me want to lie nakedly upon him, even though he likes boys. It gave me such a giggle that I wrote it first in my profile, to replace "this bag is not a toy," then gave it the seat of honor at the top of my blog. Miss Kendra came the closest with her guesses, and even though she tied Gracie, I don't want to send Gracie two pieces of house-crap (although ... matching cock and hen salt-n-pepper shakers might be a treat).

Here is Bobby's original comment:

Bobby said...

if only you had a penis. we could always save up for one, but it's just not the same. love you anyway, vajayjay and all.

Thank you to everyone for playing, and to Big Wheel for providing the inspiration.