March 15, 2008

Yes, I have fears.

Here is a list of some of my small, but real fears.

  • Fear that I will wake up to discover a spider clinging to the tip of my nose.
  • Fear that someone will be flinging a plate, and it will slice through the air just so, and knock out my two front teeth.
  • Fear of getting a paper cut in my eye.
  • As you can see, I have many fears about my face.
  • Fear of losing my hair. It happens to women, you know. I have seen.
  • Fear of strangers reaching out and pretending to squeeze my round butt behind my back, to make their friends laugh.
  • Fear that the weird whistling noise I hear is actually my own breathing.
  • Fear that the Life Saver I semi-choked on is still lodged in my windpipe, and I am breathing through the hole, and that is the whistling sound that I hear.
  • I could go on, but I need to go cough this thing up.


Michaela said...

Oh my. A papercut in the EYE?? I wish you could see the look of disgust on my face just thinking about what that would feel like!

Alex L said...

You'd prefer that they actually squeezed your butt to make thier friends laugh?

jiggs said...

I like squeezing round bottoms.

J said...

Your fears are much funner than mine. I mean touching. More touching than mine. Buttocks.