November 06, 2007

You know what I hate?*

Eating Contests.

First, the All-You-Can-Eat event. I hate the whole idea. Shoving one's face into a plate of pie, hot dogs, corn dogs, baked beans, s'mores ... whatever the chowdown item of the day might be. It's disgusting. Why anyone would ever choose to put their gluttony on display like this is beyond me.

Likewise, any challenge that involves exotic eating is repulsive to me. For example, on Survivor. I've only seen it in passing, but a week or so ago I stared, transfixed, while two rather beautiful women gobbled whole, raw eels from the head down. I almost retched just watching them. And once on Fear Factor, contestants had to suck milk from the teats of a goat and spit it into a glass; whoever filled the glass first won the round. And wasn't there something with animal penises that I heard about? Of course, this has left the realm of "eating" and is dwelling in the land of "Just Plain Geee-ross".

I can't go on, I'm gagging on my breakfast.

*This new series will highlight some

of my pet peeves about the Human Condition.

It will continue until I feel like stopping.


jamwall said...

I would only gobble 243 hot dogs if they were situated upon your round naughty backside.

B.E. Earl said...

Eating contests are awful, and they can't be good for you. I know a guy who briefly held the world record for eating oysters (some ridiculous number in 10 minutes) and his bathroom must have looked and smelled awful that night.

Now the eating challenges on Survivor are a bit different. They food they eat are delicacies in the native land which they are invading. Nothing made up, like Fear Factor, just gross to us.

Rrramone said...

I am SO with you my smart friend. ;-)

Kat said...

Fear Factor should be renamed Freak Fest. 50 grand is hardly enough to justify eating bull pizzle and coagulated blood balls.

jiggs said...

don't choke on the bull testicles.