June 05, 2007

I hate telemarketing.

Yesterday I got a call, and I tried my standard line "I'm on the DO NOT CALL list, please put me on yours."


Well, Kimmy wasn't having any part of that; she started arguing with me.
"Ma'am (!), I am not calling you from a list."


I tried again, and she said, "I'm not calling you from no list."


She said NO LIST?!?!?! Wow. She must have barely passed the colloquial entrance test to telemarketing school.


So I said, "Please put me on your do not call list."
I was very calm. This usually works and they apologize for the inconvenience.


Not Kimmy! She said, "I don't have a do not call list."


I said, "Start one," and hung up. Then I gave the phone the finger, for good measure.

16 comments:

jamwall said...

i'd like to start a "put things down my pants" list.

Osbasso said...

3:00 AM???

ajooja said...

I can't tell you how excited I am to know there may be future posts in the "telemarketers can suck my balls" section.

miss kendra said...

i would like to borrow your balls plz.

shirlsd said...

at 3:AM, you rock!

C said...

I am sure she felt the finger coming at her in fiber optic squelch.

tiina taco said...

Talks like my mother-in-law. "I ain't got no list." ugh!!

Sleep Goblin said...

Haha, finger to the phone! I often shake my fist in the air at inanimate objects. Don't know if it works, but it certainly makes me feel better. Also at people, like stupid drivers.

jiggs said...

I have never given the phone the finger. But I have been fingered by the phone.

Raptor Porn said...

You should've thrown her in with us.


Raptor Porn

Übermilf said...

this is why I want to live under a rock.

Well, one of the reasons, anyway.

jamwall said...

i think i once pretended that i was being abducted by aliens to a telemarketer. i even implanted a toaster in my abdomen and blamed it on the aliens.

i guess i didn't have to do that...

t2ed said...

I think it's amazing that she didn't have no list. She's just calling folks completely at random all around the world and you were lucky enough to get called. What are the odds.

I'd run out and buy lottery tickets.

Edge said...

Your act alone makes me wish poligamy was legal ...


Have you tried ordering a pizza when they call?

~Jef

Freiya said...

i sometimes give adverts on telly the finger, or just a v sign if i'm feeling more mild mannered, either way it makes me feel better, i'm sticking it to the man from my sofa, it's both satisfying and relaxing.....

BadGod said...

I have found that just saying something like, "I really want to eat your mother's cunt.....after I cut it out of her with a dull knife."
That usually does the trick. Only if it is a chick telemarketer.

Unless they are into that sort of thing. In which case, I will ask them out.