October 04, 2006

Fill your inkwell because ...

It's the return of The Poison Quill!

The victim: Shitballs Uniforms
The story: I ordered chef uniforms for several teachers (last Halloween); one apron never arrived. I emailed from the website (twice) and called the company, without satisfaction. Then the letters began. Sit back & let's see how it all plays out ....

Email #1:

From: "Spinning Girl"
Subject: Tracking Orderer
To: cs2@Shitballsuniforms.com

I am waiting for a burgundy apron that I ordered in November and have had several service emails/phone calls about. I was told it was to be mailed the last time I called (2 weeks ago). Can you please tell me the status of my order?
Thank you,
Spinning Girl

Reply from Shitballs Inc.:

Good Morning Spinning,
Sorry for the delay, You will get your apron this week!
Jim Smith

Email #2:

From: "Spinning Girl"
Subject: Tracking Orderer email not answered
To: cs2@Shitballsuniforms.com

Dear Compassionate and With-It Customer Service Representative,
I cannot believe that I have contacted you so many times and Shitballs has still not fulfilled my order.
In September, I ordered a chef uniform, which included an apron.
I have emailed at least twice and called at least twice about this missing item.
The salesman, "JS", has assured me twice (on the phone) that he would put it in the mail for me.
I understand that the original apron is discontinued, so a replacement is to be mailed.
I have still not received anything.
It is now almost July. 9 months from my original order date.
What kind of operation is this?
Are you playing a trick on me? This can only be a joke, because nobody would operate a business in this manner.
Please fulfill my order so that I can leave you alone.

Spinning Girl

p.s. You might not want to include this on your Testimonials page.

Reply from Shitballs, Inc:


SG draws huge breath, sharpens nails

Letter to President of Company:

Alan V. Shitballs, Jr.
Shitballs Uniforms
1209-11 East 25th Street
Baltimore, MD 21218

Dear Mr. Shitballs:

I am writing to inform you of my dissatisfaction regarding your company’s order fulfillment. I discovered your company via web search when I was in need of a chef’s uniform. I intentionally sought a small, family-owned business, and I relied on your customer testimonials as assurance that I had made a good choice. In September 2005 I ordered the uniform.

All of the parts of the uniforms, save one, arrived promptly and I have been very happy with them. The last item, an apron, was marked as “not delivered” on my sales slip, but without further explanation. I waited for the backorder to arrive.

When it didn’t. I emailed your customer service department. I was assured that the piece would be mailed promptly.

Since then, I have still not received the apron and have made at least two phone calls to your offices. Each time I have spoken to a person, who has assured me that the apron would be mailed immediately. I have also sent numerous emails to the customer service address on your web site, with no reply. Either the link is old or I am simply being ignored, neither of which pleases me.

As you may imagine, this is very frustrating.

In my last phone call, I asked the salesman, “JS”, to just reimburse me for the discontinued apron, but he assured me that he would send me another of similar style. It is now August, and I have still to see an apron.

Can you please help to resolve this issue for me? I would be happy to receive an apron or a refund at this point, I just want the matter closed.

Thank you for your help.


Spinning Girl

cc: Customer Service

attachments: Previous emails

Resolution: Credit slip for $4 arrives in the mail. JUSTICE IS SERVED. Never underestimate the power of the written word. One word at a time, we can change the world.


Anonymous said...

Yeah! Stick it to the man!

Brookelina said...

Can you deal with the fuckstick who is screwing me on ebay? Thank you.

LBseahag said...

I will bet a hundred bucks Amy Campbell works there...

miss kendra said...

$4 credit at their store? that's not very helpful.

i hope it was a check, which you can spend on smelly candles or bathsalts or something.

jiggs said...

fuck those a-holes at shitballs inc!

Also, fight the power!

Spinning Girl said...

B-power to the people.

B-all I need is a name, and it is done.

L- F Y A C!!!

K-nope, it was a credit card credit. Woohoo! Shopping spree!

J-power to the people!

Monkey said...

$4.00? $4.00?? That's all you received for all of your toil and well turned phrases?? I never.

Have I told you today how much I love you? Purple is jealous.

Anonymous said...

...ahhhh, my favorite series. Okay, second only to "I might be white trash."

FRITZ said...

Four bucks! WoooHooo! Now THAT'S some serious customer bitchin'!