December 11, 2005

White Light Thoughts

I’ve been feeling rather uncreative lately, and I just can’t force it; I don’t even feel like writing my annual Christmas letter. Maybe my creativity isn’t a bottomless well, after all. I just need to rest and let it fill up again; when it flows freely again, then I will write again.

Or maybe it’s that life is just so good right now; I don’t want to miss any of it, sitting at my computer.

Today I put up a real Christmas tree. I’ve had a fake tree for 5 or 6 years now, and I always felt like I was faking it. To compensate, I got an 8’ tree and put it up today. It smells real, it looks real, it feels real, it scratched me real. I can’t wait to decorate it. Actually, I can wait, that’s why I am writing right now.

I’ve never kissed someone that I loved on New Year’s Eve. I’ve either not been able to be with them, or been out of a relationship. I always wait around for all the couples to finish kissing, and then I get in on the second round of family & friend hugs and kisses. I don’t know why it sounds so much sadder when I write it down; I always thought I was OK with it.

Speaking of kissing … (fill in own blank here)

Nothing feels quite like hawk and eagle watching, to me. I am a serious hawk-spotter. So much so, that I am a hazard on the roads. Not really. Well, yeah. I will crane my neck to get a good look at that red-tail on the roadside branch, that soaring broadwing, that occasional bald eagle. Hell, I pull over for those. Does anyone else notice how many hawks you can see if you look? They are fierce, wild, unfettered, majestic, proud, free. They are everything that I want to be.

Sometime, I will have more to say. Right now, I just want to put on my music, decorate my tree, think about Christmas, think about New Year’s, and think about the time in between those two.


tuuna taco said...

I've kissed you on New Year's Eve, you don't love me? :(

I want to see your tree!

Lee Ann said...

I have decided that the New Year's celebration is way overrated. I cannot tell you how many I have not even stayed up until midnight.
I love the smell of real Christmas trees. The needles that fall off tend to make me vaccum more often, but I do love the smell. (My fake one even sheds needles that look real)
I hope your decorating goes well. Cheers to the holidays!

Harry Yak said...

don't set your house on fire.

Rrramone said...

Have you read The Artists' Way? I recommend it for writers block. :-)

JJ said...

There's a redtail hawk that presides over the road I take home from work. I love seeing the sun shine through his feathers as he lifts off the telephone wire to strike another blow in the war against rodents.

DaMasta said...

Speaking of kissing...I sure am a damn good kisser.

I don't think I've ever kissed anyone at New Years either. Hmm...something to think about.

DaMasta said...

Ok, I read the rest of your post.

Ah...hawk watching. On a roadtrip from Houston to Rolla, MO, a friend and I watched for hawks. It was great! I read a book about them outloud in the car, and when we spotted one, we would pull over...ever so quietly... and try to get out of the truck even more quietly so we could have a close up view. Never worked. The birds flew away before we could get out of the truck, but we had a fun time trying!

Ginamonster said...

I once kissed someone I fancied myself in love with on New Years. Sadly, he did not return my affections.
For me, it will be another kissless new year. At least you are not alone.