November 23, 2005

Blogger Swap-o-Crap 2005!

All of us here in Blogland know and love Monkey; he is everything a blog pal should be, and more. He is fiercely loyal, openly adoring, quirky and funny at will, just dirty enough to keep it interesting, and he emits a pleasantly fruity odor heretofore unknown in simian kind. I've often nestled him into my armpit, both in fantasy and in real life, and let him nibble my nethers as I read to him from the timeless tales of H.A. Rey. So what better way to show my appreciation than to send Monkey a gift? Here, then, is the tale of the Exchanging of Gifts that I had with dear Monkey, fur of my fur, hoo haa to my seeking hand. We call it Blogger Swap-o-Crap 2005.


It began with the choosing of the gifts. I chose this lovely flamingo windsock, which I stole from an 8th grade dance back in 1997. At the time, my reasoning went something like this: No one will ever use this again. It is funny. Someday, I may find a use for this. Little did I know that 8 years later I would be mailing it to my little furry friend. I chose this gift because the flamingo has a hoo-haa at least as large as Monkey's, and like him, has overcome great odds to live life to the fullest.


Here is the package, all ready for the mailman! Now I settled down to wait for my package to arrive. I could hardly wait! I filled my days with barnyard sounds and photos of my workspace. I had a vivid fantasy about a blogger and a big black truck. I made a pot of pumpkin soup. I dumped half a pot of pumpkin soup down the toilet. And finally, one day, this package arrived!!!

The best part of getting this package was the mailman asking me if I was Spinning Girl. I've come to think of this as my name, so I said, Yes I am! to him, to the sky, to the mountaintops, to all the land! (Cue violins. Cue Barbra. Papa, can you hear me?)




Inside, I found this lovely picture of Monkey at his first day of preschool, followed by a handwritten note!:


Oooh, Walter! I love me some new man toy! I can't wait to meet W...

umm.


I love him! He is so cuddly and I can just tell that he is craving love, a special kind of love that only a Spinning Girl can give. I will take him and hold him and love him and kiss him and squeeze him and pet him with my thumb as I walk along.


A little while later, Spinning Girl and Walter snuggle down for a big cuddle on the Spinning Bed. Don't be alarmed, he isn't gnawing my jugular, he is just nuzzling my neck. I love him, I love him, I love him. Thank you Monkey! I will forever remember 2005, the year you & I swapped blogger crap!

[EDIT: I have just been informed of some gastronintestinal issues. Well, not so much informed of, as exposed to. Jebus, Mary, and Sweet Papa Joseph! Upon further research I see that not only was Monkey aware of such troubles, but intentionally sent them to me because I alone have the compassion to love despite such flaws. I am not one to discard people based on one or too room-clearing flaws. All must flock to me. All gas-bloated, flatulent, odoriferous masses must flock unto me. I will love you anyway.]

Walter expresses his disdain at my "research" by building a vapor trail around my monitor.

13 comments:

Monkey said...

Oh my! I forgot to post a photo of Walter and I before sending! I am a boob of large proportions!

Has Walter... er... farted on you yet? Don't squeeze him too hard. Just sayin'.

I love Elroy, he's so much fun.... I can't tell you all the things we've done, but he's fun. Oh my...

Calzone said...

Thanks for my present too sugar. You so cool.

FRITZ said...

OH, that is IT. I want in. I WANT IN TO THE CRAP SWAP!

Somebody, PUHLEEZE tell me where I get my entry form.

jiggs said...

I'm a part of this club and it makes me feel cool.

Monkey said...

I should have warned you. It's not a pretty thing to find out by accident. I'm pleased you lived through it though. He makes up for his shortcomings in how soft and lovable he is.

B.O.B.I. said...

Swap-O-Crap is such a great idea! Fritz, I'll be your pardner! Remind me of this in the morning when I'm sober; I'll probably still be into it.

mr_g said...

It's hard to part with a pink flamingo...but you made out pretty well.

aughra said...

Oh, I love Walter. I love him.

jamwall said...

walter appears to have a hard time sitting up on his own. must the gastrointestinal problem...

Sleep Goblin said...

Did you cut your hair? It seems shorter than your last upside-down bed picture.

Übermilf said...

Hi, Spinnerina. Just visiting.

I'll stop by later.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Henri Banks said...

Walter looks cool !!

kimberlina said...

haha! walter is absolutely adorable. good thing we can't smell stench through the internets.