September 22, 2005

Babes' Mouths


We were having a discussion about grannies in class (this comes up a lot for some reason); I mentioned how my granny smells like cookies. "Isn't it amazing how grannies always smell like cookies," I said. A boy raised his hand and said, "Mine doesn't. My grandma smells like brisket and Marlboros."

When I taught 6th grade, a boy raised his hand out of the blue and said, "Miss G, how come nobody ever married you?" I laughed, being about 24 at the time, and said, "What do you mean, like nobody ever picked me? Like I am the cheese?" And he said "No, it's just that you're so pretty, and funny, and smart ... I just wondered why nobody ever married you. When I graduate high school, if nobody picked you yet, I'll come back and marry you." (He didn't)

My 8th graders often used to show me pictures of the 8th and 9th grade boys they thought were "hawt". They'd pile around me, showing me pictures from the dance saying, "Miss G, don't you think he's hot? Isn't he hot? Do you think he's hawt?". I would always say, "Ummm, if I did, I'd be in jail."

17 comments:

Kris said...

Please tell me these are fibs and lies. Hilarious fibs and lies, but please, no brisket and Marlboros.

My. tummy. hurts. No. more. laughter. please.

Bobby said...

I had one grandma that smelled as grandmas should, cookies and pleasant.

My other grandmother, who I loved with all of my heart, actually smelled like budweiser and cigarettes.

It didn't make me love her any less. I never grew to like budweiser though.

Crystal said...

Kids do say the darndest things. I bet you could compile a great book of the things you've been told.

Monkey said...

Oh lord!

"Ummm, if I did, I'd be in jail." Too funny!

I volunteer at my son's school. The first day I went into his kindergarten one of the little boys in the circle said, "You're beautiful." Other kids giggled and my son looked proud (he was five, now he would be embarrassed).

At a party later that month, we saw the boy and his father at a party. Johnny Damned said to the boy's father, "Tell your son to stop hitting on my wife!" And a friendship was born.

The only cheese that stands alone is Limburger.

mrsfish said...

My favorite things is when a teacher says - "I won't believe everything you kid says about you if you don't believe everything your kid says about me."

Lee Ann said...

Brisket and marlboros? That is a shame! That is not "hawt"!

LBseahag said...

Brisket...yummy...but i am sure she was more like beef jerky...

Juliabohemian said...

are you sure that wasn't denis leary's granny? she probably smells like brisket and marlboros

(my grandmother smoked too. she didn't bake)

sabatkes said...

Where was the smell of Jack Daniels? She's got the Marlboros and brisket!Bring it full circle granny.

My nana (when she was alive) smelled of butter and fresh vegetables. She kept her victory garded going for many many years after WW2.

HighMaintenanceHussy said...

That is such a great age...I had a wonderful experience student teaching sixth graders...they really change your outlook, don't they?

Getting There said...

Oh to be young and innocent. Back then you could pretty much say anything and it would either be 'cute' or 'he's just a kid.' But now, it seems like everything I say gets examined by a board of judges, "That was rude, let's have that removed from the transcript."

BadGod said...

When I was in school, the teacher could smack students for saying that kinda stuff.

Oh, the good old days.

I kinda put my blog back up. If you are interested, Spin. (If that is your real name). Of course it isn't. Duh.

zrnug!

John Bryson said...

I guess I should be in jail.

UberGoober said...

The real question is, how many of the 9th grade boys thought you were hot? ;)

Used Hack said...

One of my grandmas smelled like Vicks Vap-o-rub. :)

Eighth-grade wouldn't be too bad, but I'd have trouble teaching high school. I'd end up in the papers.

"Uh, Julie, Cindy, I'd like to see you girls after class."

Awwwww, yeah. [funky porn music playing in the background]

B.O.B.I. said...

HAHAHAHAHA! Well, SG, that was the boy's loss. I know I'd snatch you up quick, provided a transfer to a close-by Connecticut school, the transportation of all my shit to said close-by Connecticut school, and the prospect of a decent job in the same town as said close-by Connecticut school.

And if you said, "Yes." Then I'd snatch you up right quick.

I like cheese.

Harry Yak said...

miss g i think you are hawt! i bet you do have a lot of stories.

my grandfather passed away several years ago. my grandma wanted me to have his golf clubs. when i got them home i noticed that the hand towel he had hanging from his golf bag smelled exactly like him. i put this towel in a storage container and when the mood strikes me i open it up and breathe in.