July 27, 2007

Repost: I'm Sorry

It really bothers me when people, especially women, apologize for no reason. For example, yesterday I was at the gym and I sat down on a bench to take off my sneakers, and the woman next to me said. “oh, I’m sorry.” I looked at her and said, “for what?” and she said, “for taking up so much room.” She wasn’t; only the amount of room that her ass covered, which was average-sized.

I started noticing a few years ago how often women do this, and it pisses me off.

My standard answer has become, “for what? Don’t apologize!” Maybe I can change the world, one woman at a time. But I doubt it.

Women apologize for taking up space. Even the way they – we – sit is apologetic, arms & legs folded to as small a shape as possible. I notice that men, when they sit, sit with their legs apart & take up as much space as possible. Without apology.

Or when women are in front of you in the grocery store line and need to put all their groceries on the belt to get rung up: “I’m sorry—I have so many things.” It’s a grocery store! I expect you to be buying food! And lots of it, because grocery shopping sucks ass, and you should get it over with!

If you step on my foot, run into my Achilles tendon with your cart (stupid cell-phone-toting cow), ding my car with your SUV, then you should apologize. Don’t apologize for being in line in front of me, getting to the door just before me, or breathing the nearby air. Really, it’s OK; you have a right to be there.

It bothers me when women act weaker than they already are. Although ... some women over-compensate for the implied vulnerability of our gender by being overly bitchy, abrasive, or tough. But that’s a rant for a different day.

For today, let’s focus on feeling OK about the fact that we live on this planet and to do so, we sometimes need a little bit of room.

21 comments:

Juliabohemian said...

what an excellent post. I often find myself apologizing about things unecessarily. My husband hates it.

Muad'Dib said...

You'd hate it in Canada. We say sorry for every damn thing. Yesterday, I almost yanked this chinese tourist guys hand off whippnig open the bathroom door at work (I use the publics as I hate asking for the stupid executive management wachroom key from reception). We said sorry (ok, he said solly) back and forth about 6-8 times. I felt f'ing stupid afterwards. I will for the rest of this week only smile and say solly if I truly am sorry.

lynne said...

You are so right! Got to your blog through Ronalyn's (A Moment in Time). I know someone that apologizes for EVERYTHING and it drives me nuts. No idea why she does it.

Shanshu said...

Hilarious! I have noticed people do this, quite often. I too, find it annoying as hell.

"I'm sorry."
"Huh?"
"I need to reach over you and get a napkin."
"Um...shouldn't you have said 'excuse me'?"

Wankers.

mr_g said...

Very well said. I'm sorry I didn't find your blog sooner...oops!

Justin said...

I used to have this "sorry" issue myself. After joining the Air Force, becoming a KDOC corrections officer, and "fighting" my way into college, I'm passed it now (usually).

It is a good observation: some people do apologize for stupid things. You shouldn't apologize for being who you are (a few exceptions may apply to that), or for taking up too much space, or anything like that!

Hope to get some more insight from you soon!

-Justin

Steve said...

I was raised a wuss, and am still a wuss. I apologize for being alive, every day.

Gwen said...

I love this post! Why??? Because you are describing ME! It made me realize how right you are and I need to stop that NOW!!!

Oh by the way...hi I found your site through Juliabohemian!

austinizer said...

This post made me weep. Oh, sorry for that. Wait. No I'm not!

"AG" said...

Agreed. I also state things like I am confident in what I am saying as opposed to questioning myself.

amygeekgrl said...

You are very right. Why do so many of us feel the need to apologize for every damn thing? And how can we be overly polite about some things while other things (that really matter in the world) nobody seems to give a crap about?

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

I apologize to women all the time. Although in my case, I usually owe it to them.

Freewheel said...

And, really, men are the ones who should be apologizing. We're big, loud, and stinky.

jamwall said...

I apologize all the time, but its usually a ploy to get sex.

yours truly said...

Women do apologize way too much! I do it myself! We have too many issues when in fact, we're perfectly splendorous! Taking up space or not. Thanks for the fun reading! And that rock formation is amazingly ... realistic!

miss kendra said...

i agree with this post 100%.

ajooja said...

I apologize all the time, and I have man parts.

I wish I didn't, but that's how it goes.

My wife very rarely ever apologizes, even if she *knows* I'm waiting for one.

Maybe that's why I apologize all the time.

Quilting Girl said...

I'm sorry, but are you talkin' about ME?!

QUOTE:
some women over-compensate for the implied vulnerability of our gender by being overly bitchy, abrasive, or tough. But that’s a rant for a different day.

tuuna taco said...

I just went to pick up pizza for dinner, the poor boy in this family owned business was all apologetic for having me wait about 2 minutes while he took care of some people ahead of me (I had ordered ahead). When he said sorry I said, "for what? It's a Friday night!" For Chrissake!

HollyGL said...

Oh, I'm guilty of it. Yet I loathe myself for it - even as I say it.

I've become better about it with age. The older I get, the less I really care if I'm offending someone. I'm not obnoxious, just less ...hyper-vigilant.

Gill said...

oh I seem to have inadvertently left a comment on your blog- I'm so sorry.