July 19, 2005

Today's Suppressed Impulses

  • Suppressed urge to pee in shower, then decided it was OK as long as I stood directly over the drain and didn’t splatter, race-horse-like, all over the bottom of the tub. Like last time.
  • Suppressed urge to scream out the window and deliver Full Frontal Finger to asshole in Beemer who cut me off at the light and made me miss my green arrow (ran light when it turned red—felt better).
  • Suppressed temptation to yell, “What the fuck?!?” at the freak-lady in blue-blockers
who was tailgating me in the shampoo aisle at CVS. Who tailgates when they walk?!? I just moved over. She stepped on my heel, then passed me.
  • Suppressed urge to deliver open-handed blow to the back of her psoriasis-infested scalp as she passed me.

  • Suppressed impulse to scream, “What the fuck?!?” at same lady when she got in the pharmacy line in front of me (guess that’s where she was rushing to).

  • Suppressed urge to yell “What the fuck?!?” and “Dye your roots for Chrissake!” to the nice, albeit slow, woman working the cash register at CVS, when she couldn’t locate all my prescriptions.

  • Suppressed highly inappropriate and non-PC impulse to grab oogah-horn-like knot on a customer’s turban, and yell, “honk honk!”

  • Suppressed urge to scream, “What the fuck?!?” when same turban-wearing customer later backed his Buick Roadmaster within 0.0072 inches of my sporty Forester.

  • Suppressed impulse to leave Curves after just one trip around the circuit.

  • Suppressed impulse to yell, “What the fuck?!?” at the slowpoke at Curves who doesn’t switch machines when she’s supposed to. Tailgated her instead.

  • Suppressed urge to freak out a biker by swerving as if I might hit him. Just in case I miscalculated. Don’t mess with the universe.

6 comments:

midwest_hick said...

Ya gotta let it out....too much 'suppression' is a bad thing....lol

BadGod said...

How many prescriptions do you have?

Spinning Girl said...

umm 2...Same as everyone else.

Veeba said...

I can't suppress my urge to pee in the shower. It's too tempting. What does it hurt. I'm going to wash my body anyways...

Spinning Girl said...

and why make the bed, when you just get in it again, right?

Juliabohemian said...

all this supression isn't healthy. you need to take up kickboxing or something. someone with that much unresolved hostility shouldn't be on the road. you don't live near me do you?

(perhaps the old lady in CVS had a problem with her depth perception)